How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Warning

Parent Safety: Thanksgiving InnuenDON’TS

Posted by on November 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When you haven’t eaten in a while, you get hungry. When “a while” is actually the length of time things need to fossilize, you starve! You can start smelling delicious phantom whiffs, or hear something you could have sworn was bacon joyously sizzling a second ago. It’s the same with sex. Except for the sizzling […]

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Comments: 26

Safety from Children: Impact Probability Chart

Posted by on October 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

It’s a Murphy’s Law of sorts. What can make an impact on a Peril Zone, will… reeeeally hard. Not every time, of course, but that’s what this chart is for, to show you the likelihood of impact, and where. Instances of board-books that weigh as much as a manhole cover making a “direct hit” are […]

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Comments: 36

Safety from Children: Changing a Diaper

Posted by on June 26th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Most baby changing signs aren’t concerned with things like accuracy or safety. They’re designed to have a more pleasing and compact composition, so the adult is commonly shown crammed up close, hovering over a baby as if the diaper were going on its head. I’m a designer, so I can appreciate the reasons for this. […]

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Safety from Children: Baseball Bat Warning

Posted by on February 16th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Attention: Adults trying out new things tend to suck pretty badly at them at first. Kids are the same in this respect, only smaller and more energetic. It’s this smallness though, that happens to create a dramatic increase in Peril for nearby adults. You see, for a child, when something goes wrong while learning or […]

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New Hazard Signs for Parents

Posted by on December 6th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Anything in life is dangerous. Parenting is no exception, in fact, it’s more like a lens that magnifies danger by a factor of a bazillion. For those of you not familiar with the numeric value of a “bazillion,” just know that it’s about three quarters of a double infinity. Don’t worry! We’re not trying to […]

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Safety from Children: Baby Carrying Warning

Posted by on September 13th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Attention: Kids need love and protection, that’s a given, but we adults do a better job of delivering these things to kids when we are not, ourselves, in danger or excruciating pain. There is a massive amount of information out there for keeping babies and children safe, but there is a gaping vacuum of information […]

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Child Safety: Shopping Cart Warning

Posted by on April 1st, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Warning: Peril is everywhere. Safety first. Protect your ability to procreate even if you don't have plans to… – Follow Us on Facebook Liking our Facebook Page is the BEST way to stay connected to our madness. Instructional Diagrams You’ll probably be blown away. 

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