How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Toys

100 Years of Dangerous & Banned Toys

Posted by on July 24th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye, or a finger, or gets cancer. Wait. WHAT?! Before I begin, I must admit that I’ve got a slight nagging worry that the only non-digital toys my children’s children will be legally allowed to play with are… well, none. Not even dirt. Or biodegradable gummy […]

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Maximumble: Use for Toys

Posted by on June 24th, 2015, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

  Call it a side effect, a byproduct or an outcome, but fatherhood can lead to some rad consequences. It’s the most responsibility and pressure you can earn, but it’s also a perfect opportunity. I see a lot of “dads are buddies” stereotypes. It can be confusing to witness. There’s a pervasive myth that we’re […]

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8 Honest Names for 1980s Toys

Posted by on June 16th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

There were so many toys I wanted growing up. We had a rule, when I was a kid, that we had to sell a toy to get a new one. It was like a strange banking system. Inevitably one of the toys would break, sending the whole system into a tailspin (also, a great reference […]

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Maximumble: Toy for Jimmy

Posted by on May 19th, 2015, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

  There’s no doubt about it. Becoming a parent opens the Jurassic Park doors of childhood fun. Between introducing your kids to things you grew up with and getting current with the coolest new toys and technology, it’s pretty awesome how much parenthood has to offer. I mean, yeah, the love, compassion and responsibility and […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Junkyard”

Posted by on October 10th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

From the beginning of parenting, sleep becomes a bit of a half-remembered dream, one that you daydream about while staring vacantly at a wall as you overfill a coffee cup. Everyone with mini humans knows this, but there’s also a point in the condition known as parenthood when the toy infestation begins. At first it’s […]

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Teddy Bear – Scrabble Scribble #5

Posted by on March 14th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  It took a simple doozy from my four-year-old the other day to point out that I’ve fully operated under the belief that teddy bears are always dudes for as long as I can remember. I suppose that all stuffed animals are male unless they’ve got a bow, long eyelashes or syrupy shapes embroidered all […]

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My Kid Just DUHed… #31

Posted by on November 1st, 2013, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I wost my toy.” Me: Oh where’d you lose it? “Uhhhh. I can’t teww you dat… because I wost it.” -Lucas (2013, 4 years old)  I just got thoroughly schooled in some duh logic by my little lad. As per usual. They’re great; little kids. Like a miniature version of Captain Obvious. DUH!* * I […]

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Teddy Bear Surgery

Posted by on August 30th, 2013, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

So little is presently understood about the anatomy and physiology of stuffed animals. Advances in the subject have for a very long time been stifled by the social sigma placed on anyone who dissects toys or stuffed animals; branding them as “emotionally unstable” or “weird.” Thankfully, progress is now being made. Let’s have an amazing […]

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Parent Sex Pro Tip: Toys

Posted by on April 24th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

There’s good advice and there’s bad advice. And then there’s advice that’s so weird and confusing, you don’t know which one it is. One thing that’s certain is that sex deprivation, the lame prize in the cereal box of parenthood, can often make even the worst advice seem plausible. Or something. Maybe. – Follow us […]

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Live Action Toy Story is AMAZING

Posted by on January 14th, 2013, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Sometimes, you find things in the least of likely places… I was looking for a quote from Toy Story on Saturday night. I wanted a video clip of it so I could reply with a 2013 sensibility, you know, using video clips instead of actually talking or typing written words or. Maybe it’s a guy […]

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