How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Toddlers

TODDLER BINGO! Because Parents Deserve to Win Something

Posted by on August 19th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

The thing about playing Bingo is that you’re going to go through an epic crap ton of numbers before anyone hits five in a row. The same is true for Toddler Bingo. Parents will experience a vast array of toddlerisms before they hit the jackpot. Refusing to eat something, wanting to eat things they shouldn’t, […]

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Snowman Building by Child Age

Posted by on December 2nd, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies are really terrible at making stuff. Unless it’s poop or pee, or making us smile and never sleep. So their first snowmen will require quite a bit of parental assembly. Some people wonder why parents do this for their babies (birthdays and snowmen and such), hinting that it’s all really just for the parents. […]

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Operating Heavy Machinery while under the Influence of Childhood

Posted by on November 1st, 2013, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

So, we come across a lot of wild stuff on the Internet. We’re basically always online looking for inspiration, entertainment and cataloguing the crazy of the web. Some stuff we share with you and some we don’t. This one? I just don’t even know where to start. Check it out… Should this be happening? Is […]

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Episode 1: Convos With My 2 Year Old Video

Posted by on May 31st, 2013, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

  Anyone who’s anyone (or has a pulse) has seen this by now. Seventy-bazillion times each. So, after we finished clapping our hands to a swollen pulp and stopped punching ourselves in the face for not creating something like this video ourselves, we had to share it here. It’s so genius, it just has to […]

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Eagle Rides for Toddlers!?!

Posted by on December 19th, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Your pants and undies may be safe watching this, but you will crap in your soul for sure. (Reassuring spoiler: happy ending. Sorry about the spiritual poop mess part, though.) In the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, giant Eagles play majestic animals that swoop in to the rescue. Um… yeah… this is not […]

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Toddlers Run The World: Exhibit Q

Posted by on July 27th, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

The world will try to convince you that children are to be seen and not heard. People will strive to make small people feel smaller. Well, they obviously haven’t met “Will,” a young boy from Philadelphia. With enough attention and charisma, it’s quite possible Will or some other cute kid could take control of our […]

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5 Alternate Uses for Toddlers!

Posted by on May 21st, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Toddlers can take a huge toll on your patience, resources and time. The list of tough lessons and experiences is endless: possessiveness, tantrums, food pickiness, lack of vocabulary, etc. And, you might even get to a point of asking the rough questions, “What good is a toddler having around? What is the exact purpose of […]

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Cheap Toddler Activities… #7

Posted by on February 18th, 2012, under VIDEOTAPE

We did a series of videos on cheap ways to rock out with your kids. It’s tough to continually find new ways to trick, distract, entertain or otherwise delay your kids from going full-on ballistic, heat-seeking missile into trouble. As far as we know, that’s particular to boys. But maybe that’s because we each have […]

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The Testicle Umbilical Cord

Posted by on January 30th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

When babies first come out of the womb, they are physically attached to their mom. But could it be possible that perhaps, somehow, they are also attached to the father’s testes? Stay with me… if you can. For my next trick, I will light this car on fire & give you a heart attack doing […]

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No Means Yes. And Maybe. And No.

Posted by on September 19th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

When you are conducting hostage negotiations or talks on nuclear weapons facilities, it’s very important to read between the lines. The subtext of heated mediations and dialogue is almost always more important than the overtures made by tyrant dictators or religious extremists. Or toddlers. “Is he speaking in tongues?” CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE! This weekend […]

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