How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


An HONEST List of What I Give Thanks For

Posted by on November 26th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

  Well… Being completely honest? I give thanks for:   Sleep Whenever. Wherever. However much I can get.   Coffee My unicorn blood for when I haven’t gotten much of the one above.   Bourbon The good stuff. No tarantula juice for me.   Food Preferably the drool-inducing kind that doesn’t upset any part of […]

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This Post Will Be More Interesting Than Thanksgiving

Posted by on November 25th, 2015, under VIDEOTAPE

Listen, you’re probably stressed out working or traveling to a relative’s house who likes to talk about politics. Either way, nothing at this very moment will be as interesting or spellbinding than what you’re about to watch. Watch: Possums Eating Bananas Cutest video EVER. <3 Posted by Animal Equality on Thursday, August 20, 2015 So, […]

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Thanksgiving Pie Chart

Posted by on November 27th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

If Thanksgiving only lasts a day for you, you didn’t make enough food and you are a monster. With refrigeration and proper storage, it really should be Thanksgiving Week. Maybe it’s not pie you go bonkers for, it could just as well be a completely bone-littered turkey platter, or a clean-scraped bowl of marshmallow yams, […]

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An Inappropriate Guide to Proper Holiday Dining Etiquette (Video)

Posted by on November 21st, 2013, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

  Manners at the table can seem like a sport. Of course, parents are the stressed out coaches, yelling orders from the sidelines or anxiously mouthing silent instructions to their kids. The Holidays, however, are the flippin’ Hunger Games of proper… um…acceptable… ugh… passable dinning etiquette for your kids. This hilarious video brings back so […]

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Parent Safety: Thanksgiving InnuenDON’TS

Posted by on November 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When you haven’t eaten in a while, you get hungry. When “a while” is actually the length of time things need to fossilize, you starve! You can start smelling delicious phantom whiffs, or hear something you could have sworn was bacon joyously sizzling a second ago. It’s the same with sex. Except for the sizzling […]

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My Wife Just Said… #86

Posted by on November 19th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“If I’m an asshole driver, but only to other asshole drivers, does this really make me an asshole driver?” –Avara   Good luck with your travels this week everyone! Including assholes! – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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The Calories Burned by Parenting

Posted by on November 29th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

It’s the holidays. Yay! We’ve all been double-fisting massive quantities of amazing food into our faces. Waistbands are beginning to groan in protest of the holiday splurging. Maybe some of us have nursed our guilt hangovers with super-protein-food-green-substance drinks, or spritzes of vinaigrette instead of avalanches of blue cheese dressing, it doesn’t matter. You get […]

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