How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


Memos to the Tooth Fairy

Posted by on November 5th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK, SNAPSHOTS

My 5yo son’s wiggly-jiggly tooth was recently liberated from his smile and he couldn’t wait to write a pillow-bound note to the Tooth Fairy. Here’s the text (uncorrected, to preserve the cuteness): Dear. TootH. Fairy. i Love you. My tooth FeLL. out. i wANt presents. tHANk you.   Short, polite and to the point. Adorable, […]

Comments: 2

9 Things I’d Rather Do Than Hang Out with a Teething Baby

Posted by on May 22nd, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

I love my infant son, Arden. Very much. He’s such a fun guy already and we are creating an amazing little bond that grows each day. I love him and his smiles and coos and little poops. He’s such a great baby. But teething can go f*ck itself. It tests everything I have. It turns […]

Comments: 19

Tooth Fairy Transport?!

Posted by on September 16th, 2013, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Some dads have talents that make them way cooler than the rest of us. For example, I can be really funny at inappropriate times which leads to another talent of getting my ass kicked. I’m pretty much an Olympian of being dumb like that. But for this dad, there is something he has, as both […]

Comments: 8

The 5 Stages of Teething, An Illustrated Guide

Posted by on June 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

    Teething is a part of becoming a parent that a lot people dread to one degree or another. Us parents who have made it through the Stages of Teething, know that the people who don’t dread it are either certifiably naive or very drunk. But one can only stay naive and drunk for […]

Comments: 104

The Teething War Is Over

Posted by on May 10th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Yeah. So that just happened. For almost two years. Teething. The war is over now. I finally realized it. It just suddenly hit me. And it took a flashback to get me there. My flashback didn’t consist of the sickly sweet smell of napalm or the sound of Jimi Hendrix sawing a guitar in half, […]

Comments: 47

Baby Teeth & Other Ferocious Fangs

Posted by on April 16th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] New baby teeth are such a fake out. As a parent, you suffer so much for those little things to come in, so when they do, you almost want to do backflips, build a bonfire and set off fireworks. Maybe we’re talking about me at this point, but […]

Comments: 35