My Kid Just Said… #10
[Watching Jurassic Park] “Why do da dinosaurs make da jelly come out of da man?” -Cody (2002, 4 years old) In this case, of course, “jelly” refers to the fountain of spurting blood and by “man” he’s referring to the guy who was just bitten in half. Okay. So… sometimes you make mistakes as a [...]
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Scariest Erection Hose Ever!
Many technological advances have come from humble beginnings. Or, in this case, frightening and pornographic dirty minds. Meet THE X-HOSE. Am I tired of tugging and lugging my hose? You’re damn right, but you can’t just go and replace it, SIR. I don’t care that it expands to three times it’s length. So it’s a [...]
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Stuff You Shouldn’t Show Kids
This world is a scary place… mainly because of Reality TV and celebri-spawn, but this past week marked a new level of scare-larious stuff that we felt an unnecessary urge to show you. Some of this could be considered KSFW (Kinda Safe For Work), but I wouldn’t push it. We here at “How To Be [...]
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Don’t Shake Your Baby
Shaken Baby Syndrome Simulator by Realityworks is an instructional doll used in parenting classes. It is a life-size baby with a see-through vinyl head filled with LED lights. The doll begins emitting a real infant’s cry, and the baby is shaken to simulate various stages of head trauma… I am experiencing trauma, now, from: A. [...]
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