How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Rant

Gas Rant

Posted by on May 22nd, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

This is actually a thing for me. I’ve had nightmares. I am not joking. If my wife even mentions the word “gas” my hand will break the sound barrier being held up in a quivering halt gesture, whereupon I will inform her that she is not allowed to continue speaking unless the conversation is about […]

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Comments: 17

The DON’Ts of Waiting on Tables of Families

Posted by on February 22nd, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

There is an art to waiting tables. It is a dying art. It’s certainly a really a hard job, but there are tricks to it. To make it not be so awful. Everyone knows it must be a gruesome task to wait on tables that contain kids, but I’m a parent, so I’m not writing […]

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Comments: 85

My Wife Just Swore… #67

Posted by on July 10th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Okay, ‘chilling out’ has happened for long enough. Now everyone can just f##k off.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Comments: 17

Ugliness

Posted by on May 5th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud… There are too many ugly parents in the world. Yes, this is judgmental. Yes, it’s a horrible thing to say and I don’t mean to single anyone out, but I’m tired of pretending they don’t exist. Maybe my time in Los Angeles has frayed my […]

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Comments: 207

7 Rules for Parent Etiquette

Posted by on January 5th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Round two of hell week for me and I’m really underwhelmed by the amount of hate mail arriving in my email thing. I did an article on non-parent etiquette some months ago and I felt like I never evened up the score about the faults parents have too. So, here you go. Let’s go ahead […]

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Comments: 154

Sounding Boards

Posted by on December 12th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

Dear Leaf-Blower Guy, Loud Motorcycle Douche & the rest of your compatriots, There’s nothing I love more than the soothing sounds of your noise pollution. Well, obnoxious drunk scream-giggle-girls are a close second. But, to quote Scrooged, “for the love of God and your own personal safety” knock it the hell off. You wake up […]

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Comments: 36

Shut Mouth

Posted by on October 17th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

How long will I to have to endure listening to unrequested parenting criticism and advice? This past week someone close to us told us that my son evidently has a “discipline problem.” This information was delivered first to my wife (who almost lost it), after which I called Captain Commentary to see if I could […]

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Comments: 83

Social “ME”-dia: Show & Hell Game

Posted by on September 8th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

I know we just did an INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAM on this, but I think I’ve figured out the purpose for “social” networking websites and I wanted to get your opinion on it. Hour after hour, we busily, mindlessly update our “statuses” and check into “locations” and tweet our twitters like some sort of video game that […]

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Comments: 27

7 Rules for Non-Parent Etiquette

Posted by on August 15th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

I’ve had a hellish week these the last seven days, so figured I’d post something that might get me some hate mail. Truth be told, I saw another dad blogger getting a lot of heat for a post he wrote and became very jealous of him getting all the negative attention. EDITOR’S NOTE:Charlie is obviously […]

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Comments: 254

Fun O’Clock

Posted by on April 1st, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

It’s 3am and I hate to break it to you, Finn, but amid all your screaming and crying the only thing I can think right now: “Guess what Mr. Downstairs Neighbor? (who has a thing for playing “Sex on Fire” over and over at 2am to wake up my child) Suck it.” That’s right, Finn! […]

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Comments: 4