How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Poop

Don’t Be Fooled: Girls DON’T Poop!

Posted by on September 23rd, 2013, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

There’s this rumor that keeps hanging around these days that’s as stubborn as the worst toilet skid or unflushable floater. There’s all this crazy talk about women, get this, POOPING! Ha ha! Priceless! I bet Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are riding unicorns as they laugh their asses off at this. EXCEPT FOR THE […]

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Kid Definishons: “Poobles”

Posted by on August 8th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

When you hear the word “poo” in association with your kid being in the bathtub, you just kind of tense up and slowly peer over the edge to scan for the surprise of a floating “tub toy” that wasn’t there before. Luckily, it was just an underwater bathtub fart, and the little mer-kid is only […]

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The 3 Ps of Parenting

Posted by on December 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Nothing can prepare you. Nothing! Just like war, no matter what you read or watch, or how many in-the-trenches stories you hear from gray-faced veteran parents, nothing—NOTHING!!!—can prepare you for the amount of pee, puke and poop that will be unleashed upon you once your baby arrives. The 3 Ps of Parenting. Mothers may even […]

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My Kid Just Said… #11

Posted by on October 18th, 2012, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

[hands behind back ] “I do NOT hab poop on my fingews.” -Lucas (2012, 3 years old)  “Whuchoo got behind your back there?” (sniff) “Uhhh… What’s that smell?” There are some lies you hear that instantly tell you the truth. When someone says they don’t mean to sound a certain way or offend, you know […]

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My Wife Just Said… #77

Posted by on September 17th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Soooooo, I’m slightly freaking out… Why? Because Lucas just ate POOP!!! Well, no he didn’t EAT it – like a chunk of it – but he had his hands jammed in his mouth and I found poo all over them.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Safety from Children: Changing a Diaper

Posted by on June 26th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Most baby changing signs aren’t concerned with things like accuracy or safety. They’re designed to have a more pleasing and compact composition, so the adult is commonly shown crammed up close, hovering over a baby as if the diaper were going on its head. I’m a designer, so I can appreciate the reasons for this. […]

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Skid Marks: When to Wash ‘Em, When to Toss ‘Em

Posted by on February 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

…it happens. It’s a fact of life. I wish we could say this chart was only for parents doing mountains of their kid’s or teen’s laundry, but we have to admit it… this chart is for everyone. Younger and older, male and female. It’s true. …it happens. And not just to little kids’ tighty-whities after […]

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Name that Superhero Diaper Pail!

Posted by on January 19th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Everyone poops. Even superheroes. Though, having been a bit of a collector in my youth, I can tell you it’s not something that you’ll ever see depicted in the colorful storyboard format of a comic book or its blockbuster movie adaptation. “Hey, Alfred! Can you hand me a […]

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My Wife Just Said… #43

Posted by on January 18th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I tried underwear on Lucas today. I thought it would be a step in the direction of potty training. It turned out to be a step in the direction of getting poop on the floor.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Part Deuce! Types of Diaper Loads

Posted by on November 22nd, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Of course, we’re going to do an Instructional Diagram about poop before the biggest eating holiday on Earth. We’re dads. Which means we’re men who are in the possession of babies. Do the math. It all equals poop jokes. We always knew […]

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