How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Poop

Skid Marks: When to Wash ‘Em, When to Toss ‘Em

Posted by on February 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

…it happens. It’s a fact of life. I wish we could say this chart was only for parents doing mountains of their kid’s or teen’s laundry, but we have to admit it… this chart is for everyone. Younger and older, male and female. It’s true. …it happens. And not just to little kids’ tighty-whities after […]

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Name that Superhero Diaper Pail!

Posted by on January 19th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Everyone poops. Even superheroes. Though, having been a bit of a collector in my youth, I can tell you it’s not something that you’ll ever see depicted in the colorful storyboard format of a comic book or its blockbuster movie adaptation. “Hey, Alfred! Can you hand me a […]

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Comments: 56

My Wife Just Said… #43

Posted by on January 18th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I tried underwear on Lucas today. I thought it would be a step in the direction of potty training. It turned out to be a step in the direction of getting poop on the floor.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Comments: 31

Part Deuce! Types of Diaper Loads

Posted by on November 22nd, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Don’t say we didn’t warn you. Of course, we’re going to do an Instructional Diagram about poop before the biggest eating holiday on Earth. We’re dads. Which means we’re men who are in the possession of babies. Do the math. It all equals poop jokes. We always knew […]

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Comments: 75

A “Poopulear Reactor”

Posted by on October 18th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click here to enlarge the image ] What in the actual hell is going on here? That’s what you might be asking yourself. Understandably. That’s exactly what I asked myself when I found this “schematic” shoved between two stuffed dinosaurs guarding it in my son’s room. Now, I’m no physicist nor am I very […]

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Comments: 29

“Disposable” Before & After a Baby

Posted by on October 11th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Words have a habit of taking on different meanings and associations from different circumstances or points of view. Becoming a parent isn’t just a change, it’s massive reconstructive surgery for your life. “Disposable” is just one of the words with multiple definitions and associations that may undergo a shift. “Monitor” may once have had something […]

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Dirty Diapers: Fast Birth Control

Posted by on August 29th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

I’m sitting here. It’s 2am. I was going to write something completely different for our Monday “Notebook” post, but suddenly while eating my son’s cookies, it hit me. I’ve eaten all of my sons cookies. From the look in his eyes, you can tell Finn is working on his latest “sculpture”. Actually, that won’t hit […]

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Types of Diaper Loads (The Truth)

Posted by on July 19th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

    [ click the image to enlarge ] It’s never the normal, standard-issue things that we need preparation for. It’s the freaky, unexpected and unknown things that terrorize us and really would have been nice to know about beforehand. What most new parents lose a large percentage of their mind about is simply not […]

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Comments: 223

My Wife Just Said… #15

Posted by on June 22nd, 2011, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“…Oh, and uhhh… thanks for the poo you left in the toilet.”-Elizabeth  

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My Wife Just Said… #5

Posted by on April 5th, 2011, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Don’t you hate it when you feel like you have a poking poo. Like a turtle.” -Elizabeth

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