How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Parenting

Everyone Is Born Blind

Posted by on April 29th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

I always noticed that when my sons first started out coloring, whether it was their own mutated blobs, coloring books or plain ol’ restaurant place mats, they’d always use the wackiest shades to color in things and people. What they laid to page was as random as the course taken by a drop of water. […]

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PARENT OPERATION (The Game)

Posted by on April 23rd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Playing this game could seriously teach parents some vital skills in raising their kids. First and foremost: PATIENCE. Followed by the close 2nd: the ability to tolerate sudden startling noises. There’s probably a whole grab bag of other useful parenting traits to be gained or honed in playing this updated version of the classic kids’ […]

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Bruce Lee, On Parenting

Posted by on April 11th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

  People think that Bruce Lee’s famous “Be like water” quote was his philosophical view on fighting an opponent. Think again! I propose that he was actually talking about being a parent! Ah HA! Okay, so maybe your mind isn’t blown by this revelation, but it’s got to at least be making funny clanking noises, […]

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My Wife Just Said… #154

Posted by on March 31st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Is there a class called ‘How to burp a sleeping baby without waking them up’?… cause sign me up!” -Avara   The riddles of parenting are many and dumb. Parenting is such a beautiful and bothersome thing. It can take everything you’ve got, and then it asks for more. Sure, there are lots of rewards and […]

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Kids Are So Gullible

Posted by on March 12th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Parents trick their kids from time to time (or all the time), for various reasons. It’s so easy in the early years, they’ll believe anything, really. So much so, it’d really be an oversight for a parent to not deceive their kid somehow. There’re all kinds of ways we pull the wool blankie over their […]

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Types of Parent Heart Conditions

Posted by on March 6th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING Becoming a parent or experiencing prolonged exposure to babies and children may cause a variety of pleasurable and undesirable heart episodes.   Kids don’t make you feel anything you haven’t felt before. Delude yourself all you want, but they just don’t. However, they can act like emotional lenses, sharpening and intensifying […]

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My Top 25 Parental Confessions

Posted by on February 27th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Bless me child for I have sinned. It’s been your lifetime since my last confession and I feel like I need to come clean. I have lied to you, stolen your property and coveted your dinner, as well as your youth. I am your father, but I haven’t always been a parent. I used to […]

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Parenterms: “Caughter”

Posted by on January 9th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Uncontrollable laughter happens often when kids are present. They can be very suddenly entertaining. Sure there’s the “spit take.” We’ve all seen it in movies even if we’ve never done it. Something outlandish is said or something outrageous happens and then someone sprays like a geyser in response. It’s funny but a little unrealistic. Especially […]

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Defense Against Misinformed Parenting Advice

Posted by on January 3rd, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

  When you’re learning to navigate the turbulent waters of new parenthood, you’ll undoubtedly encounter a lot of folks offering what they think are time-tested words of wisdom. Sure, these (usually childless) people mean well, but when caring for your first newborn, these bits of advice often do nothing more than exacerbate your already tense […]

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Parentopoly, The Give ‘n’ Give ‘n’ Give Game

Posted by on December 30th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

It’s likely you’ve played Monopoly before (even if you’ve never finished it), since statistically about 11 out 10 households have had the board game given as a gift one year or another. Parenting can truly seem like a game, too. How many times do you think one parent has said, “Go, it’s your turn!” to […]

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