How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167

Posted by on July 1st, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID...", "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.”   Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???”   Wife: “There’s a… hole.”   Son: “In you butt?”   Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.”   Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]

Comments: 12

Parenting Hindsight is 20/??

Posted by on June 30th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

If time travel were possible you can bet that most of the travelers would be parents desperately seeking to undo things that have happened or check up on their kids down the line. We live in a constant state of hindsight and it’s honestly the lamest superpower anyone could have. Today, we’ve partnered with Lifelock […]

Comments: 0

Infomercial Parenting Style

Posted by on June 26th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

There are all kinds of parenting styles that have been given clever little labels and been written about thoroughly out there. There’s an even greater word-count online in the debates and commentary about which one’s are the happy-go-bestest and which ones will lead to a child’s utter and total dysfunction, derangement and probably even super […]

Comments: 2

Uber for Parents

Posted by on June 19th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

I can’t tell if technology is helping or hurting us. Hell, if Stephen Hawking is worried about the ability of a sentient technology to “design improvements to itself and outsmart us all” — then I’m frigging scared. Well, I think it’s high time we make technology our parenting bitch. Let’s start with transportation because it […]

Comments: 0

An Honest Modern-Day Kids’ Fashion Paper Doll

Posted by on May 21st, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Paper dolls have been around since forever, or the mid-18th century (close enough to forever). Little printed playthings you could cut out and dress up in coordinated outfits, luxurious new fashions, with PAIRS of the same socks and shoes, etc. Pure fantasy. It’s not that anyone who grows up really tires of fantasy and escape. […]

Comments: 13

Beware of Bad Parentexting

Posted by on May 7th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

The days have passed when VCRs blinked 12:00 as a signal to one and all that technology had gotten ahead of its owner and they didn’t know how to set the clock. Ironically, this is a timeless theme, though. Cavekids probably rolled their eyes under their jutting brows as they watched their parents use a […]

Comments: 4

5 Parenting Lessons from ‘Bill & Ted’

Posted by on May 2nd, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

It’s no secret that, like, we’re one of the most helpful and totally masterful websites when it comes to non-heinous parenting. People constantly come up to Andy and I begging for the epic secrets to being the raddest dads of all time. We usually just keep walking with our sunglasses on and earbuds in. Dudes, […]

Comments: 6

The Spitty Thumb

Posted by on May 1st, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Birds do courtship dances without a single lesson. A spider knows how to spin a web without ever having seen one. In much the same way (except not as nasty as spiders), I believe the Spitty Thumb is an action pattern that’s genetically coded into parents. It has its stimulus. Kids. They’re absolute schmutz and […]

Comments: 5

Everyone Is Born Blind

Posted by on April 29th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

I always noticed that when my sons first started out coloring, whether it was their own mutated blobs, coloring books or plain ol’ restaurant place mats, they’d always use the wackiest shades to color in things and people. What they laid to page was as random as the course taken by a drop of water. […]

Comments: 14


Posted by on April 23rd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Playing this game could seriously teach parents some vital skills in raising their kids. First and foremost: PATIENCE. Followed by the close 2nd: the ability to tolerate sudden startling noises. There’s probably a whole grab bag of other useful parenting traits to be gained or honed in playing this updated version of the classic kids’ […]

Comments: 10