Types of Parent Heart Conditions
SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING Becoming a parent or experiencing prolonged exposure to babies and children may cause a variety of pleasurable and undesirable heart episodes. Kids don’t make you feel anything you haven’t felt before. Delude yourself all you want, but they just don’t. However, they can act like emotional lenses, sharpening and intensifying […]
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My Top 25 Parental Confessions
Bless me child for I have sinned. It’s been your lifetime since my last confession and I feel like I need to come clean. I have lied to you, stolen your property and coveted your dinner, as well as your youth. I am your father, but I haven’t always been a parent. I used to […]
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Parenterms: “Caughter”
Uncontrollable laughter happens often when kids are present. They can be very suddenly entertaining. Sure there’s the “spit take.” We’ve all seen it in movies even if we’ve never done it. Something outlandish is said or something outrageous happens and then someone sprays like a geyser in response. It’s funny but a little unrealistic. Especially […]
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Defense Against Misinformed Parenting Advice
When you’re learning to navigate the turbulent waters of new parenthood, you’ll undoubtedly encounter a lot of folks offering what they think are time-tested words of wisdom. Sure, these (usually childless) people mean well, but when caring for your first newborn, these bits of advice often do nothing more than exacerbate your already tense […]
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Parentopoly, The Give ‘n’ Give ‘n’ Give Game
It’s likely you’ve played Monopoly before (even if you’ve never finished it), since statistically about 11 out 10 households have had the board game given as a gift one year or another. Parenting can truly seem like a game, too. How many times do you think one parent has said, “Go, it’s your turn!” to […]
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He’s Here
Dear Finn, This is your brother. He was born today. It’s your job to help, teach, protect and play with him. Welcome him. He is a part of you, as are you to him. When your mom and I are gone, you’ll have each other. And that gives me great satisfaction. –Your Dad […]
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Wiping the Slate Clean
When you become a parent, there are certain things you anticipate and others that even Dr. Seuss couldn’t have even begun to imagine. You look forward to holding your baby and hearing their voice. You wonder about the foods they might prefer or which Star Wars character they’ll identify with most. Fantasize about how they […]
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My Wife Just Said… #135
“You’re asking if I’m doing okay? Well… no one’s dead yet.” -Elizabeth Sometimes the state of things needs to be looked at from a really wide perspective. Things can seem so extreme that “good” and “bad” can take on the comparable of “dead” or “not dead.” – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Star Wars […]
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Old Yeller Parenting
With the wild success of The Daddy Complex’s “CTFD Parenting” and a multitude of other parenting philosophies variously titled with animals names, military equipment and dance moves, we think it’s time we got in on this lucrative moneymaking scheme. Today, we submit to you: “Old Yeller Parenting.” No, we don’t shoot our kids, you lunatic. […]
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“Bath Time” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old
Bath time can be the most ME of “me times.” This proves difficult though for little kids, who require constant parental supervision when immersed in water within a hard, slippery surface. Parents know all about their privacy evaporating when they have kids, but for kids it’s also an uphill battle; a hill draped with a […]
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