Lie Detection Tips for Parents
If you think your kid is not a liar and has never lied, then let me be the first to inform you that you have a very, very crafty liar on your hands. Or you may be really dumb. Hey! Don’t be upset, lots and lots of people are dumb these days, bazillions of ‘em [...]
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My Wife Belongs in the Kitchen…
… telling me to do the dishes and housework. It is written that the Olympics actually began in an ancient Greek household. A man and wife had just birthed a young Greek named Nagmeon. Within a fortnight, the two were screaming at each other over who had changed more grape leaf diapers than the other, [...]
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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Petting Zoo”
Yeah. It’s actually a book now. Yeah. We pretty much can’t believe it either. Here’s a sneak peak at one of the new Baby Sleep Positions from our book, The Guide to Baby Sleep Positions. Get the book for all new illustrations and some survival tips for co-sleeping! Maybe you had “kids” [...]
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Can’t Calm Them, Join Them
We’ve all (the royal WE) been there. Your kid is screaming bloody murder and they just seem like they need a little compassion, a gentle caress or a calm voice. Do we cave? Do we succumb to their emotional demands? Well, this father did and it proved to all of us doubters that sometimes things [...]
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How to Play Any Game with a Kid (Flowchart)
You sit there sweating bullets. You’re not worried you’ll lose, maybe there’s a hint of worry you’ll accidentally win. You’re just trying to keep up, playing a game with this young ball of spin-cycle lightning we commonly refer to as a kid. Whether it’s your kid or not is beside the point. It’s a KID! [...]
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In Praise of Mediocrity
As a father, I am not perfect. In fact, I’m so far from perfect, if I wanted to overnight a letter to perfect, it would cost me $46. David and the Vienna clan. So, while I do strive for perfection, I think mediocrity serves as a realistic short-term goal for me—mostly because I’ve already attained [...]
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A Guide to Extreme Flu Preparedness & Response for Families
Being sick sucks. However, it is the Seventh Circle of Suck when you have kids, or your kids are sick, or it’s an all out family-demic. Good news is: there are steps you can take. Bad news is: I didn’t include any of the helpful ones you should take to prevent or deal with sickness [...]
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I Turn My Head for Just One Week
I’ll never forgive myself. Or the Universe. I was gone for a week. Just one week! I’m in his room playing and he just said “those” instead of “dozes.” One Day Earlier Lugging my bags to the curb, I met my family with a mountain range of a smile set against the gray sky of [...]
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Kids and Koalas
You had a baby. Yay! You should realize that kids tend to grow up and get “less cute” to “outright ugly” from time to time. At first, the little one can turn your heart into something similar to what a microwave can turn a stick of butter into in 13.3 seconds. This may be by [...]
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Unicorn Poop or How I Fell in Love with the Daughter I Never Had
I’m not much of a “Guy” or “Man” in the senses used in the advice given in the movie Say Anything: “Don’t be a guy, be a man.” Whichever stereotype coloring book you’re using, most of my colors wind up outside the lines. But I do have a penis and three boys to prove it, [...]
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