How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Parenterms

Parenterms: “Adorablewhelming”

Posted by on May 19th, 2017, under SNAPSHOTS

Our kids can achieve levels of cuteness that, before becoming parents, we would never have believed even possible. It doesn’t need to be some viral YouTube video of a moment. It can simply be the most mundane thing our kid does that turns us into glowing emotional wrecks. A lump in our throat makes our […]

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Parenterms: “Calculatte”

Posted by on January 25th, 2017, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

We’ve all done that late-night math to figure out how much sleep we’d get if we fell asleep right that second. Sadly for parents, this assumes you’ll sleep through until your alarm goes off. Hahahahahah! Ugh. It’s hard to figure out the sleep you’ll get when you have a living alarm clock with no snooze […]

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Parenterms: “Dysleftic”

Posted by on November 16th, 2016, under SNAPSHOTS

It’s sort of cringy-cute when they put their shoes on the wrong foot, right? Like, you know it’s not going to kill them but if you did it, you’d wish you were immediately dead if you did it. And there’s also that you’ve told them a hundred times part that sort of get the eye […]

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Parenterms: “Passwordthy”

Posted by on September 15th, 2016, under SNAPSHOTS

Pretty much everyone in these obscenely modern times knows the truly deep and profound statement of trust it is to grant someone else your password. Parents, especially, have to put some seriously paranoid thought into handing over the keys to their digital castle, since kids can innocently get up to no good, totally on accident, […]

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Parenterms: “Excusplanation”

Posted by on May 12th, 2015, under SNAPSHOTS

When something is stuck to a wall or scattered in a million pieces on the floor, or a blubbering sibling is rubbing their head, and you ask a kid what happened? Hah! You’ll hear barely anything (if anything at all) about the sequence of events. Instead, you’ll hear a lot about the philosophical nature of […]

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Parenterms: “Grayllow”

Posted by on November 19th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

When “off white” is so far off that it has entered the whiteness relocation program and changed its name, it has probably changed its name to Grayllow. With any article of clothing that’s white, or close enough to wind up in the “lights” laundry pile, there’s a certain point when you can’t boil or bleach […]

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Parenterms: “Adultolescence”

Posted by on November 7th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Adolescence refers to a person in the process of developing from a child into an adult, but the idea of what an “adult” is seems to have lost a lot of its former meaning. The more time marches on, the more it seems to skip and moonwalk, and we’re entering an “Age” where men and […]

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Parenterms: “Poouquet”

Posted by on October 30th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Like finely crafted wine, you can tell a lot by the fragrances of things, though in this case, a really groady cheese might be a more fitting analogy. Normally a wine’s bouquet refers not just to the first nostril impression of a particular grown-up grape juice, it also refers to the scent (or stank) it […]

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Parenterms: “Fridgetful”

Posted by on May 13th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Parents know that they can often have memory issues, even if they can’t remember exactly how they even know this… uh… what was I saying? Something something… memory issues then… uh… whatever. Must not have been important. Sure, in addition to the fridge, there are tons of other “why the heck did I come here” […]

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Parenterms: “On Purpaccident”

Posted by on February 26th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Kids do things. Always. Let’s all admit that the mind of a child isn’t a just blank canvas or a field filled with giggling unicorns. It can be a pretty weird place and result in some pretty disastrous things. At a certain point kids start to get the idea that accountability plays into the some […]

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