Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 3 (Advanced)
I want you to know that I risk my life sharing this shadowy Eastern warrior wisdom with you. Not just because I’m continuously risking assassination from ninjas seeking silent but deadly (not that kind) revenge for broadcasting their proprietary trade secrets, but also because I can be life-threateningly ticklish myself. The next shave I get [...]
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Stuffed Animal Assassin, Dragon Baby
Sometimes… when parents gaze lovingly at their child, they see themselves, a perfect combination of two separate people in one, giggling forward into the future for them. Other times… they see an ex-assassin seeking revenge, one-by-one, on the group of killer stuffed animals that betrayed… Erm… Okay. Maybe that never happens. UNTIL NOW! I bow [...]
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My Wife Just Said… #78
“So, that means when you were playing with Ninja Turtles, I was losing my virginity!” -Avara This is something that has come up a few times in our relationship, but since it was discussed in the Chicago Tribune, it probably bears repeating. Couple of kids and an old guy. – Previous “My Wife Just [...]
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Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 2
We tell ourselves and others that we don’t want to coerce our kids. Once we get past that whole “not wanting to sound like a bad parent” thing we admit it. At some point, we do want to. Not forcefully or traumatically. We just want it to stop! Or start! Look. When a mom or [...]
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Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 1
There are a ton of simple, everyday things we just have to pick up on our own. Learning by trial and error or mimicking someone else can be tricky. And result in us doing really stupid things. Even with tickling. For parents of ticklish kids, the act of tickling can be a laughter-filled method of [...]
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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Pillow Paw
The average height of a table is 26″-30″ and counters are around 36″. They all have corners and edges that kids’ heads are somehow magnetically drawn to when they’re passing through this height range. As a parent it’s your duty to protect your child. So obviously that includes making sure they don’t bash in their [...]
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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Scissor Kiss
Ninjas have long known that the skill of being able to kill someone with one arm tied behind their back was a worthy achievement. For parents, this level of skill can become useful in the task of keeping someone ALIVE with an arm tied behind your back. Most people don’t realize that the ancient art [...]
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Baby Fingernails & Other Deadly Edged Weapons
[ click the image to enlarge ] Baby fingernails are so sharp they make razor blades seem like warm gummy bears in comparison. If you’ve got kids, you’ve probably experienced the sudden sizzling pain of your baby’s nails accidentally giving you inexpert plastic surgery. You’ve probably heard this phrase before, “Ooooo. What happened to your [...]
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Baby Ninja
Ninjas aren’t born ninjas, that’s true… Or is it? Think about it. Babies are apparently born with various ninja characteristics. How many times have you muttered to yourself, totally mystified, “How the heck?” as you pulled something out of your little one’s hand that could not possibly have been reached? Or let out a yelp [...]
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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Ankle Claw
“Huh?” you say? Yes, that is indeed a wise question. I will explain. If you wished to become good at something—great at something—like parenting, wouldn’t you want to know what a ninja had to say about it? They weren’t just born ninjas! They became masters of disciplined study and training long before they even got [...]
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