How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Marriage

My Wife Just Rambled…

Posted by on November 27th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Of course she just gave me that look. I should be more specific, though. Couples develop and collect tons of looks in marriage. There’s the “shhhh don’t say anything” wide eyes, the “I’m so entirely done with this shit” eye roll, the “maybe later tonight” wink, the “don’t you even start” laser glare. The list […]

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My Wife Just Said… ( • )( • )

Posted by on November 12th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

We were arguing about the dumbest most unimportant thing, as married people do. It was late and we were both tired (though it’s probably unnecessary to qualify that it was late since tiredness is our constant companion). To make things worse, we were both hungry enough to be cranky, but not hungry enough to override […]

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How to Test Steak for WRONGNESS

Posted by on October 23rd, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, NOTEBOOK

Everyone has their preference, of course. And one could say there is no WRONG way to have a steak prepared for you, but the person who said that would be very sadly mistaken. However, in today’s day and age, it’s totally okay for people to like absolutely awful things. It’s 2018! You do you. But […]

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My Wife Just Said… (Zipper Struggle)

Posted by on October 17th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

It’s hard to have a grown-up discussion with your wife when your fly is down or your shirt is inside-out. But it can be done! I’m living proof of this. Frequently. The trick is to compensate by using big words and deep philosophical concepts. For instance, you can say, “It’s an entirely admissible error to […]

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My Wife Just Said… [Got milk]

Posted by on September 13th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

This would have been a funny, slightly dysfunctional Got Milk ad. Well, it would have been funnier if I wasn’t living it, and having to drive back to the grocery store for a single item. One thing I was never prepared for in parenthood is the mind-boggling number of times I’ve gone to a grocery […]

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How Home Tasks ACTUALLY Get Done

Posted by on June 22nd, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Thanks to Clorox for sponsoring this post and arming us parents with the products we need to get ready for summer fun, without the summer funk.   Everyone has had it happen. You said you’d do it. You set phone reminders that you kept arrogantly flicking away like annoying insects. For weeks, your spouse reminded […]

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My Wife Just Said… #339

Posted by on May 9th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Sometimes I extend my hand for a sarcastic introductory handshake when my wife asks silly things that she should absolutely know about me by now, or over a decade ago. I loooove food. And I also love not wasting money. It’s a powerful combination I find truly difficult to resist. In our house we don’t […]

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50 SHADES OF BROWN (The Unplanned Sequel)

Posted by on February 7th, 2018, under SNAPSHOTS

After freeing themselves from the shadows of their past (and their headboard handcuffs), newly weds Anastasia and Christian embark on a new kind of domination and submission in their life, a kind that has no safe word… Parenthood. Sure. You thought it was only a trilogy, maybe even vigorously hoped and prayed, but it was […]

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My Wife Just Pretended… #338

Posted by on January 29th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

I’m not exactly sure after how many years on average it is, but there’s a point in marriage where you just develop acceptances of some things. Things that you’ve come to honest terms with, like your partner not actually paying a single molecule of attention to what you’re saying. When you were first courting, you […]

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5 Tips for “Entertaining” a Sick Spouse

Posted by on January 18th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID...", NOTEBOOK

We all try to be supportive when our significant other is sick. But I’m of the opinion that adding a little levity into the situation can’t hurt. My wife, or most wives or spouses for that matter, may ferociously disagree. Heck, I’m not such a fan of jokes when my body feels like the physical […]

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