How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Marriage

Netflix & Chill…dren

Posted by on June 1st, 2016, under NOTEBOOK, SNAPSHOTS

The popular slang expression “Netflix and chill” is basically what young people these days are calling a “booty call,” getting together to hook up for sex, or the prospect of it. Maybe hang out and get in a few shows if it doesn’t turn into gland-to-gland combat, I guess. Anyone with kids knows, after you […]

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Meet the Instagram Husband!

Posted by on December 9th, 2015, under VIDEOTAPE

Ever wonder what goes on behind the scenes of your favorite Instagram accounts? Well, meet the secret weapon of so many Instagrammers: the Instagram Husband. “Behind every cute girl on Instagram is a guy like me, and a brick wall.” These guys are the human selfie-sticks that power the food photography, whimsical wide shots and […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #227

Posted by on August 24th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Yeah, so… sometimes you need to add a banana, not for scale, but for sexy. Or just for laughs. But also still for sexy. #pls #seriously #alsoorganic – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Pizza > yogurt, but it’s a messy competition. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us. 

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My Wife Just Said… #223

Posted by on July 27th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Check out my earrings!” Me: Oh, wow. I didn’t even notice them all day. Haha! “Um. Actually, I’ve had these in for week now, honey.” –Elizabeth I just froze and made that awkward “I’m a bad person” face, but she let me off the hook with a casual laugh. I thanked her for not doing […]

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My Wife Just Said… #211

Posted by on May 4th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Remember when you proposed?” [sighs] “And you got down on your hands and knees…WAIT! I mean your KNEE!“ -Elizabeth   Someone was able to capture the reaction, but unfortunately there is no photo evidence that I was only on my knee to ask for her hand. After she caught her word slip, we both exploded […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #175

Posted by on August 26th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My wife is so considerate. She’s always so polite and dainty like a Victorian lady twirling a parasol. Unless she happens to be wrestling a particularly stubborn pickle jar or battery compartment, then she’s more like a sailor-mouthed ex-con with anger management issues. But mostly it’s pinkies out and poots in private. Too cute. Regarding […]

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My Wife just Said… #171

Posted by on July 29th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Okay. Honey! The toilet and I just became best friends. Let’s take it easy on the romance.” -Elizabeth   The flower of romance can bloom suddenly in the rays of spontaneity. Or it can hit a very firmly closed bathroom door. There’s a time and place for everything, and sometimes “the mood” needs to take […]

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My Wife Just Texted??? #165

Posted by on June 16th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

There are the occasional times when we leave our phones unattended and unlocked. I’m not referring to myself here, since people have joked that my iPhone and earbuds are part of my body’s anatomy, but for other people it happens from time to time. Of those times, mischievous people sometimes get a hold of them. […]

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A Decade

Posted by on April 4th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Ten years ago, I eloped with a girl who honestly should’ve known better. Through all of my hardships and successes, my insanity and creativity — she stuck with me. Thank you for your unequaled support and love, Avara. I’m better for having known you. Love, Dingle AKA Doodle AKA Shmoop AKA Skiddy AKA Doo AKA […]

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My Kid Just Said… #40

Posted by on March 12th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Soooo… how was the wedding?” [confused looks] “…Yours and Mommy’s.” -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old)   It just sort of took us by surprise because it came completely out of nowhere. We both riffled through our crappy parent memories for what wedding he could be talking about. Once he clarified, we both shared a long, […]

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