How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lucas

My Kid Just Yelled… #47

Posted by on May 9th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“No! I can’t be quiet!! I HASTA BE WEALLY, WEALLY WOUD WIGHT NOW!!!” -Lucas (2014, 4.5 years old)  Um. Can you say it again in my other ear? The one that’s not bleeding. Or was that just an impression of a velociraptor being tortured while laying an egg? There’s no way around it. You’ve just […]

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Everyone Is Born Blind

Posted by on April 29th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

I always noticed that when my sons first started out coloring, whether it was their own mutated blobs, coloring books or plain ol’ restaurant place mats, they’d always use the wackiest shades to color in things and people. What they laid to page was as random as the course taken by a drop of water. […]

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My Kid Just Said… #44

Posted by on April 9th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Garwic smewws wike skunk and poop.” -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old)  I love garlic, but I can understand that it’s a bit showy as far as smells go. The funny thing about my son’s description is that I had to wonder for a sec whether this meant he didn’t like the smell of garlic. Some […]

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My Batkid Just Said… #42

Posted by on March 25th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Weww… I din’n’t actuaw-wy save da city.” But you saved me. “Why?” You just did. “Oh!” [Runs off smiling] -Lucas (2014, 4.5 years old)   He’s such a well-mannered little superhero. It’s funny to think that our kids will never really know how much they saved us. Even when they have their own kids, I […]

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My Kid Just Said… #40

Posted by on March 12th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Soooo… how was the wedding?” [confused looks] “…Yours and Mommy’s.” -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old)   It just sort of took us by surprise because it came completely out of nowhere. We both riffled through our crappy parent memories for what wedding he could be talking about. Once he clarified, we both shared a long, […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #151

Posted by on March 10th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

So it wasn’t my wife who texted me, but I’ll be honest, I actually stared at this for a solid clueless minute before I replied. I guess I was trying to wring some kind of sense out it, like it was some kind of ancient Egyptian scroll of hieroglyphs my wife had written in emojis. […]

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My Kid Just Said… #39

Posted by on February 14th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I watewwed da pwants!” [Big smile] “…By going PEE PEE!” -Lucas (2013, 4 years old)  This was the first time my littlest son peed outside. On nature (neighborhood shrubs count as nature, right?). We’ve all had it happen. No bathroom. No diaper. Not enough time to make it to either. One can almost hear the […]

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My Kid Just Said… #36

Posted by on December 26th, 2013, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Wisten wisten. Okay. I have an agweement wiv you. Wisten. If I eat one two bites and you build all my toys den we can wets pway and I get a cookie. Okay? Okay!” [Walks away] -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old)   He sounded like a big league negotiator. There was no room for argument […]

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My Kid Just Called… #35

Posted by on December 10th, 2013, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Just come home, Dad. [not Daddy!] The cwock says 20:30. Come home now fwom yo twip. Okay good, see you soon, bye.” [Click] -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old)   I was in Mississippi on the last day of a short work-caytion. I talked to the little lad multiple times each day, but he was still […]

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My Kid Just Said… #34

Posted by on November 28th, 2013, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Dis dinner tastes wike horse.” -Lucas (2013, 4 years old)   It was an insult so innocent and random that it wasn’t at all insulting; if it even was intended as a complaint. He made it sound like it was a positive thing. Unfortunately for my wife, our laughter was loud and long enough that […]

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