My Kid Just Said… #11
[hands behind back ] “I do NOT hab poop on my fingews.” -Lucas (2012, 3 years old) “Whuchoo got behind your back there?” (sniff) “Uhhh… What’s that smell?” There are some lies you hear that instantly tell you the truth. When someone says they don’t mean to sound a certain way or offend, you know [...]
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My Wife Just Said… #77
“Soooooo, I’m slightly freaking out… Why? Because Lucas just ate POOP!!! Well, no he didn’t EAT it – like a chunk of it – but he had his hands jammed in his mouth and I found poo all over them.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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My Kid Just Said… #6
[Lucas (3yo) looking at a picture of himself] “Da’s Wucas!” Me: “No, you’re supposed to say ‘that’s me.’” [long pause accompanied by scrunchy nose of disapproval] “No, Daddy! It not yooOooOooOU! It WUCAS!” -Lucas Dad, you sound like you think you know what you’re talking about, but I do not think that you do. I [...]
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The Bee Whisperer
Watching our toddler flit from flower to flower like a giddy garden gnome stalking the little flying honey-makers, Lizzie and I have exchanged many a stressed look and repeated, “Why bees? Why did it have to be bees!” Bees have been a wealth of lessons so far for Lucas (3yo). Lessons about nature, dependence, purpose, [...]
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Pocket Intruders
Disclosure: This post is brought to you by LifeLock, a leader in identity theft protection. I’ve had my wallet stolen over 100 times. I know that sounds like a lot, but maybe you’re forgetting I have kids. BUT! I’ve been pickpocketed a couple of times “for realsies.” The First Time In my teens, I journeyed [...]
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Wrong 101 (Kid Responses to Accusation)
On the journey to teach kids the difference between Right and Wrong, they seem to learn something else you didn’t necessarily intend along the way. All on their own, without any flashcards or kidstructional videos. Wrong 101. They learn the wide and varied rainbow of responses to any accusation or confrontation of Wrongness. Kids learn [...]
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My Kid Just Said… #5
[Seeing his mother dying her hair] “Mommy… does you have poop on you head?” -Lucas (2012, 2 years old) Uhhhhhhh… To a kid: if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck. So if it looks like poop… Yeah, Lizzie was wearing a plastic cap [...]
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Muhver Day: My Kid Just Said… #4
“Say Happy Muhver Day!” -Lucas (2012, almost 3 years old) Being literal is not the same as being literate, but it’s funny. Facepalm. He repeated exactly what I just whispered to him. His smile was sooooo big tho! So was hers. Precious. Even though he chewed it up a bit, I was proud he got [...]
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The Teething War Is Over
Yeah. So that just happened. For almost two years. Teething. The war is over now. I finally realized it. It just suddenly hit me. And it took a flashback to get me there. My flashback didn’t consist of the sickly sweet smell of napalm or the sound of Jimi Hendrix sawing a guitar in half, [...]
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Toys Make You a Singing Psycho
♫ The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round! The wheels on the bus go round and round, aaaaall throoough the toooown! ♫ I think this is the song my wife will be muttering quietly, over and over to herself when they discover her, smoking gun in hand, [...]
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