My Kid Just Said… #55
“Daddy? How does Dark Vader eat?” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old) To answer your question: the Disney store. That’s where we got these ridiculously amazing PJs. (ALSO IT HAS A TINY DETACHABLE CAPE!) There he stood, my little Dark Vader in his new PJs. My feelings were conflicted at first, the wincing inner nerd […]
My Kid Just TEXTED… #53
The first “text” my youngest son sent me looked more like someone poured water on my wife’s phone. This was the first text exchange with my youngest son, Lucas, 5 years old. Well… the first one that made sense. Sort of. My two older boys were already learning advanced math when they got their phones, […]
My Kid Just Said… #51
“I gonna lay off food for a while.” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old) Hearing this from my 5-year-old beanpole of a son was a definite “Wait what!?” moment. You see, saying “going to” implies that one isn’t already doing it. Since birth. ““ Previous My Kid Just Said What a kid would do […]
My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167
Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.” Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???” Wife: “There’s a… hole.” Son: “In you butt?” Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.” Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]
What We See vs What He Sees
This post is a partnership between Dyson and HowToBeADad.com Even before he could walk, my youngest son loved “cleaning.” His first obsession toy was a hand vacuum. After he burned out the battery from sheer use, I began to wonder if this was a sign of a future calling. I’ll admit I tilted my […]
My Kid Just Said… #49
“Wake up wake up good mohning! It’s fwee five eweven o’cwock. You can cwose yo eyes again, I’m done tawking. G’night!”-Lucas (2014, 4.5 years old) It’s 35:11 o’clock. Do you know where your good night’s sleep is? I probably mumbled something really intelligent like: Whu? Whu time’s it? Whu’s hmmmrphumph still dark… mmrphh… back […]
My Wife Just Texted… #161
My phone lit up by my side as I was working late. I read the text and knew it probably meant that the part of my 4yo son’s mind that manufactures nightmares was also working late. I made an awwww face as imagined the little guy stumbling with drowsy desperation to our room, to […]
The Third First Day at School
My youngest son just had his first day at school. As it turned out, it was so much easier for him than it was for us. You’d think it’d be no big deal, Lucas being my third son, with my two older boys having been in school for nearly a decade. Nope. You’d be wrong. […]
My Kid Just Yelled… #47
“No! I can’t be quiet!! I HASTA BE WEALLY, WEALLY WOUD WIGHT NOW!!!” -Lucas (2014, 4.5 years old) Um. Can you say it again in my other ear? The one that’s not bleeding. Or was that just an impression of a velociraptor being tortured while laying an egg? There’s no way around it. You’ve just […]
Everyone Is Born Blind
I always noticed that when my sons first started out coloring, whether it was their own mutated blobs, coloring books or plain ol’ restaurant place mats, they’d always use the wackiest shades to color in things and people. What they laid to page was as random as the course taken by a drop of water. […]
