How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lucas

My Kid Just Drew… #59

Posted by on April 8th, 2015, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

5yo son: “I drew Mr. Poo and Mr. Fart.” Me: “Haha! Are they friends?” Son: “Of course they are!” [eye roll] —me and my son, Lucas (2015) Some things are so obvious, you’re just begging for an eye roll when you ask, or even dare to raise an inquisitive eyebrow. I guess I really should […]

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10 Insider Tips for Playing with Kids

Posted by on January 28th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

Here are some tips and warnings for parents signing up for the full-contact, mind-bending sport known as Playing. I’ve added 6-second videos to each point to demonstrate more fully humorously. You can turn the sound on and off in the lower-left of each video. (Some of these get a bit festive, so you may want […]

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My Kid Just Farted… #57

Posted by on January 6th, 2015, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

5yo son: “Daddy, did you just fart!?” Me: “No, I didn’t.” Son: “THAT’S BECAUSE I DID! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Me and my son, Lucas (2015) He’s become a fart whisperer. Or shouterer. He’s obsessed. I can’t really blame him. Personally, I can on occasion be like Willy Honka’s Flatulate Factory. But I know it’s my fault, I […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #191

Posted by on December 15th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  A classic example of a “teacher” writing to a parent about the vital need for a child to bone up on video games. Look it’s even got two bold exclamation points!! Totally legit. When little kids fake messages from their teacher or from one parent to the other or from an imaginary pony, it’s […]

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Peanuts – Scrabble Scribble #12

Posted by on November 25th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  You don’t want your head to explode trying to hold it in, but you know it’s wrong to laugh. And that, as a result, they’re just going to say it over and over for a month and in all the most public or inappropriate places. Even knowing this, though, sometimes your can kids say […]

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Memos to the Tooth Fairy

Posted by on November 5th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK, SNAPSHOTS

My 5yo son’s wiggly-jiggly tooth was recently liberated from his smile and he couldn’t wait to write a pillow-bound note to the Tooth Fairy. Here’s the text (uncorrected, to preserve the cuteness): Dear. TootH. Fairy. i Love you. My tooth FeLL. out. i wANt presents. tHANk you.   Short, polite and to the point. Adorable, […]

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My Kid Just Said… #56

Posted by on October 28th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I gonna take dis gwass of water an’ pour it in dat bowl of dirt. Because… ya aaaaaaalways need mud.” -Lucas (2013, 5 years old)   My cheeks cramped from smiling after he said this, but I kept watching with my spasmodic smirk as he happily turned dirt into mud with water, and my brow […]

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My Kid Just Said… #55

Posted by on August 22nd, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Daddy? How does Dark Vader eat?” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old)   To answer your question: the Disney store. That’s where we got these ridiculously amazing PJs. (ALSO IT HAS A TINY DETACHABLE CAPE!) There he stood, my little Dark Vader in his new PJs. My feelings were conflicted at first, the wincing inner nerd […]

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My Kid Just TEXTED… #53

Posted by on August 7th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

The first “text” my youngest son sent me looked more like someone poured water on my wife’s phone. This was the first text exchange with my youngest son, Lucas, 5 years old. Well… the first one that made sense. Sort of. My two older boys were already learning advanced math when they got their phones, […]

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My Kid Just Said… #51

Posted by on July 16th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I gonna lay off food for a while.” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old)   Hearing this from my 5-year-old beanpole of a son was a definite “Wait what!?” moment. You see, saying “going to” implies that one isn’t already doing it. Since birth.   – Previous My Kid Just Said What a kid would do […]

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