My Wife Just Called… #79
“Maybe later tonight I can give you a [ehem]J. Mmm-hmm. … Okay, bye, gotta go to the bathroom now!” [hangs up] -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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My Wife Just Said… #75
“I did? Ok, I forgot. Don’t remember telling you to do that, buuuuuut that’s not surprising these days.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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My Wife Just Said… #73
“Oh! That’s why you were being a jerk. Yoooou haven’t had your cooooffeeee yet!” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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Her Lipstick
I found something. A few days ago I was rifling through some rarely-opened filing cabinets, looking for something; something boring enough that I forgot about it the second I opened up a folder that was bloated with odd, crinkled contents. Memories beamed out at me. Cards from my kids in brightly-colored construction paper, saved scribbles [...]
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My Wife Just Said… #71
“It’s not that I’m not happy. It’s just that I’d be eeeeeven happier with another baby!” -Elizabeth
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My Wife Just Said… #69
“Yeah? Not if you ever want to see THIS again. Or touch these!” -Elizabeth Before anyone gets all upitty on the topic of sextortion, bear in mind that this was a humorous statement that had the two of us in stitches, and also that it’s also a very effective form of motivation. – [...]
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My Wife Just Swore… #67
“Okay, ‘chilling out’ has happened for long enough. Now everyone can just f##k off.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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(I Swear) My Wife Just Said… #65
“So glad you’re my husband! I am a lucky woman.” -Elizabeth This was made more moving by the fact that I didn’t do anything especially spectacular and it also wasn’t an opener to informing me about a particularly juicy sale she was interested in. Just love. Sweet heart-getting-gooey-in-your-shirt-pocket love. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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Overreaction Toast (True Story)
Sometimes my wife overreacts in ways that freak me out. False alarms. While they turn out to be false, they really really really seem like legit alarms when they’re going off. Hypothetically, I’ll be driving us along and she’ll grab my arm in a near bone-shattering grip and shout “LOOK!!!” Later, when we retell the [...]
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My Wife Just Said… #63
“By the by, did you use the hand towel for your armpits? Yeeeah. Just got a mouthful, so to speak.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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