How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lizzie

My Wife Just Aged… #273

Posted by on July 11th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

She didn’t want a big deal made about her birthday, she’s not a huge fan of adding years onto her age. Recently a waitress asked our son how old he was and, with the clueless honesty of extreme youth, he told her that he was almost seven, and that he keeps getting older but his […]

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My Wife Just Said… #271

Posted by on June 27th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

I can’t really contradict her. Not when I have days where my zipper was down more than it was up. And, it’s true, there’s also my lovely fart-singing voice. We live in a world where adulthood isn’t the pressed slacks and wingtip shoes it used to be. For a lot of us, now it’s a […]

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My Wife Just Yawned… #269

Posted by on June 15th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

I guess I should be glad that she’s still willing to push through the exhaustion and power-lift her lead-heavy, kryptonite eyelids to stay up with me. Though, honestly, the number of shows episodes and ends of movies we’ve had to rematch because of this has to be in the triple digits now. She doesn’t snore, […]

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My Wife (?) Just Texted… #267

Posted by on May 30th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Okay. So, my wife gives our six-year-old son her phone every once in a while to watch cartoons or play games on. This fact obviously escaped my thinking when I sent that naughty little pornmoji man. Ehem! Even if he had been the one on his mom’s phone, while I know he wouldn’t have fully […]

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My Wife Just PMSed… #263

Posted by on May 2nd, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

I won’t state my wife’s age because I respect her privacy and value my life. The number doesn’t really matter, though. At widely various ages, women go through hormone changes, on top of the monthly Molotov cocktail whipped up by menstruation. It’s Mother Nature’s pulse-revving, hot flashing “and now for my next trick…” in the […]

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My Wife Just Said… #261

Posted by on April 18th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

She was right. Our son was in his room “playing” with action figures on the dog. The poor fluffy pooch was sitting there patiently but looked up with “save me” eyes. I extracted him with a finger wag to my son. ​There’s an ability parents gain, deciphering the sounds and cries their babies and kids […]

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My Wife Just Called for Help… #259

Posted by on April 4th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“HONEY! I need your help! … M-my bra is hooked onto my earring!” –Elizabeth   I ran into the room just as she was finishing the last sentence, and I actually tilted my head as I tried to figure out what I was seeing. She stood frozen in place with her arms up, her shirt […]

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My Wife Just Said… #257

Posted by on March 21st, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

With so much to do as parents, some things filed in the “essential” category can get abruptly jammed into the “expendables” folder. We try to multitask, maximize and economize the crap-ton we have to do, AND get our kids to do. Sure, it’d be nice of parents didn’t have to have their kids put their […]

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My Wife Just Said… #255

Posted by on March 7th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“You know the expression about ‘the two certainties in life: death and taxes’? When you have a kid, there are two more: dishes and laundry. Hmmmm… This could be a really long list.”   –Elizabeth   That list could get soooooooo long. The internet has a bunch of jokes about the failed promise of hoverboards […]

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My Wife Just Said… #253

Posted by on February 22nd, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Why’re you sticking!!!”   Son: “What???”   “I was talking to the pan.”   Son: “But… but the pan is not alive.”   –Elizabeth & Our 6yo   It’s funny that he was calling her out for talking to her cooking equipment, because an hour earlier was having an energetic discussion with a stick. They […]

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