How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lizzie

My Wife Just Texted… #241

Posted by on November 30th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  A lot of time we can’t see our own faces and just can’t feel a booger. Unfortunately, most bystanders don’t have the social bravery to walk up and let you know there’s a green troll hanging out at the entrance to one of your nose caves. Awkwaaaaaaard. Boogers are the “open pants zipper” of […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #239

Posted by on November 16th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  They had one slot open for a trial lesson in the gymnastics class. Our 6yo was mildly interested when we explained what it was, that he could learn how to jump and flip and have fun. This was probably fairly meh for him since he could do that anytime, anywhere. I could see there […]

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My Wife Just Said… #237

Posted by on November 2nd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Can I put ‘peace and quiet’ on my Christmas wish list?” –Elizabeth “I’m going to get you ‘loudness’ as my present. Heeheeheeheehee!” –Our 6yo son   Halloween just passed by in a whirlwind, and Thanksgiving is looming on the horizon of a pair of pants that won’t fit anymore. As a kid, the end months […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #235

Posted by on October 23rd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

We didn’t use the garden hose with the high pressure nozel. And by that I mean, I’m not going to admit to such a thing in a public forum like this post. Kidding. Of course we didn’t fire-hose blast the fluffy, gross weirdo in the face, but man! KAK! We gave it some serious consideration. […]

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My Wife Just Self-Diagnosed… #233

Posted by on October 5th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“My throat hurts soooooo bad… Maybe it’s cancer.” –Elizabeth   She wasn’t serious, of course. Everyone in the house has gone down with a nasty case of flu-bola. Despite her obvious discomfort, I had to laugh at how she went from 0 to WebMD in under a second. It reminded me of an amazing joke […]

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My Wife Just Said… #231

Posted by on September 21st, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I don’t have the shopping done for dinner, so we’ve got two options: 1) we can go out to a restaurant, or 2) we can order delivery. But there’s no way I’m going out with my hair like this, so… what would you like to order for delivery?” –Elizabeth I love how seriously she takes […]

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My Wife Just Confessed… #229

Posted by on September 7th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Oh. I never watched Goonies.” –Elizabeth I just stood there for a moment. Waiting for her to laugh and punch me in the arm. But the laugh never came and the metaphorical punch was only an uppercut to my brain. A moment before my wife dropped this bomb, I’d made a One-Eyed Willy joke and […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #227

Posted by on August 24th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Yeah, so… sometimes you need to add a banana, not for scale, but for sexy. Or just for laughs. But also still for sexy. #pls #seriously #alsoorganic – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Pizza > yogurt, but it’s a messy competition. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us. 

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My Wife Just Said… #223

Posted by on July 27th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Check out my earrings!” Me: Oh, wow. I didn’t even notice them all day. Haha! “Um. Actually, I’ve had these in for week now, honey.” –Elizabeth I just froze and made that awkward “I’m a bad person” face, but she let me off the hook with a casual laugh. I thanked her for not doing […]

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My Wife DIDN’T Just Say… #215

Posted by on June 1st, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[wife’s ringtone plays] Me: “Heeeeyyyyy, sexy pants.” My 5yo son: “Daddy?” Me: [coughs] “Oh hey there, little guy!” –Lucas (aka Not My Wife) The phone can no longer be trusted, I have no assurances it’s actually going to be my wife anymore. Even during a school day I now have to wonder, maybe he left […]

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