Tag: Lizzie

My Wife Just Shouted… #325

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We all want our kids to be themselves. Until “being themselves” is them hollering down grocery aisles with a baguette lightsaber and their shirt wrapped around their head. Kids can come up with some pretty record-scratchy, startling comebacks that leave us parents speechless; either because they’re so spot on, it’s hard to counter their really […]



My Wife Just Said… #324

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It’s not like we don’t loooooove love love our kids. But kids are proof positive you can have too much of a good thing. After a long day of doing all of the things, non-stop, there’s a point where your kid being removed from the mix couldn’t come soon enough. Sometimes this point occurs when […]



My Wife Just Said… #308

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Our reliance on our phones has made us pretty terrible about tracking certain things. For instance, I can pretty much only remember my own phone number and 911. I might be able to guess about 5 or 6 digits correctly in my wife’s phone number. It’s the same with directions. Google and our map apps […]



My Wife Just Mommy-Brained… #305

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We had boxes and bags of old toys we’d finally convinced (bribed and begged, basically) our seven-year-old son to part with. But little kids have a rather random and fast-changing mind, so we knew we needed to get them out of the house and over to Goodwill, ASAFP. The past three nights our little guy […]



My Wife Just Sobbed… #303

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She was obviously in a funk, so I made sure I hadn’t stepped on her emotional toes somehow in a clumsy husband way. But her mood was shadowed by the upcoming school field trip. A sleep-away trip. The school was going to a place in the mountains and the kids would all stay the night […]



My Wife Just Said… #301

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Those words, uttered by any human being, male or female, are the clearest indication you’re about to hear something that is not at all funny. And, true to form, it wasn’t. My wife continued on to unload some serious distaste for something that was pretty awful. Once someone says “you know what’s so funny,” you […]



My Wife Just Scolded… #299

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She’s absolutely right. And I’m absolutely incapable of stopping, apparently. When our 7-year-old makes fart noises, my laughter is pretty much a completely irresistible stimulus response. In my defense, he is exceptional at it. Like a Mozart of fart noises. It almost defies belief that he can even make such sounds. You see, I’m not […]



My Wife Just Said… #297

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Our 7-year-old son has been hopped up on the holiday spirit for weeks now. Being at home, off schedule with family visiting and generally consuming above normal levels sugared goods have all certainly contributed to his state of heightened festivity. Playing, even by himself, somehow turns into a full-contact sport and can sound like a […]



My Wife Just Realized… #295

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She went on to say that she thought the world would be a better place if people just wore pajamas all the time. I’m not sure if I agree that’d make a huge difference to the issues humanity faces, but by golly, it seems like it’d be worth a shot. It doesn’t seem like it […]



My Wife Just Said… #293

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Nature is great. It’s wonderful. Beautiful. Majestic. But so is sleep. And when Jiminy Cricket crashes your bedroom like a drunken friend stumbling out of an unfortunately instructed Uber ride, fully ready to serenade you with insect dubstep for rest of the night, nature can seem like the worst thing ever. Anyone would rather discover […]