How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lizzie

My Wife Just Said… #155

Posted by on April 7th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Um. Can I go out in this?” -Elizabeth   There she stood at the front door, posing for me to see. She was wearing colorful, patterned leggings, rain boots, a baggy sweater and a mismatched purse. I frowned as I looked her over and then smiled and said, “Sure!” The fact that I was wearing […]

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My Wife Just Said… #153

Posted by on March 24th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Explaining to our littlest son how trees eat] “Well… The roots are like the mouth of the tree… And I guess the leaves are like… the butthole?”” -Elizabeth   Maybe my wife isn’t the most knowledgeable gardener, but she’s my absolute favorite gardener.   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” When your kid is asleep […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #151

Posted by on March 10th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

So it wasn’t my wife who texted me, but I’ll be honest, I actually stared at this for a solid clueless minute before I replied. I guess I was trying to wring some kind of sense out it, like it was some kind of ancient Egyptian scroll of hieroglyphs my wife had written in emojis. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #149

Posted by on February 24th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Your snoring last night kept me up for hours. You sounded like a hyena choking on its own snot. Yes you were! I recorded it…” [ Presses play on her phone ] -Elizabeth   I watched her nighttime video intently, more importantly I listened to it. Um. So yeah. We’re lucky a neighbor didn’t call […]

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My Wife Just Said… #145

Posted by on January 27th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I always find it odd when I look over at a fully-equipped stroller only to find there’s a dog in it.” -Elizabeth   My wife majored in marine biology and used to work at a place that did a bunch of animal rescue and placement, so I’d put her somewhere between animal lover and animal […]

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My Wife Just Said… #143

Posted by on January 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I do not have too much stuff in my purse. I just need a bigger purse.” -Elizabeth   I tilted my head at that one. Then I scratched it. Then I shook it in amazement. She had a good point. I guess. Since becoming a mom, her purses and bags have gotten bigger and bigger […]

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My Wife Just Said… #141

Posted by on January 2nd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“My hands are fah-reeeeezing! Oh wow. Your balls are so warm!!! Don’t jump away! Oh please let me warm my hands on your balls?” -Elizabeth   Um. Okay so yeah… WOW! That’ll take you from tired to light-speed wakefulness like nothing else! Even if you’re in a coma. Or dead. Notes to self: 1) never […]

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My Wife Just Said… #139

Posted by on December 19th, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“What am I making for dinner tonight? Reservations.” -Elizabeth   When a single day feels like a week, it’s like you’ve practically earned the right to not cook six times over, right? In these cases, it’s really just best for everyone’s health if the chef’s special for dinner is takeout or reservations at a restaurant. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #137

Posted by on December 3rd, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“You’re going to let me buy that cheesy, light-up lawn decoration because you love me. And because the lad loves it.” -Elizabeth   Double whammy. Love can be a very powerful bargaining chip. But the crappiness of some holiday decorations can overwhelm even the most passionate hearts. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” What bowling […]

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My Wife Just Said… #135

Posted by on November 19th, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“You’re asking if I’m doing okay? Well… no one’s dead yet.” -Elizabeth   Sometimes the state of things needs to be looked at from a really wide perspective. Things can seem so extreme that “good” and “bad” can take on the comparable of “dead” or “not dead.” – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Star Wars […]

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