How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lizzie

My Wife just Said… #169

Posted by on July 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth   I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. – Previous “My Wife […]

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My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167

Posted by on July 1st, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID...", "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.”   Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???”   Wife: “There’s a… hole.”   Son: “In you butt?”   Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.”   Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]

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My Wife Just Texted??? #165

Posted by on June 16th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

There are the occasional times when we leave our phones unattended and unlocked. I’m not referring to myself here, since people have joked that my iPhone and earbuds are part of my body’s anatomy, but for other people it happens from time to time. Of those times, mischievous people sometimes get a hold of them. […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #163

Posted by on June 3rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Sometimes my wife, Lizzie, knows just what to say to me. Even when she doesn’t know it. They say “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” but some ways of getting there are much faster than others. PIZZAAAAAA!!! – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Kid faces only a mother could love. Follow […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #161

Posted by on May 19th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  My phone lit up by my side as I was working late. I read the text and knew it probably meant that the part of my 4yo son’s mind that manufactures nightmares was also working late. I made an awwww face as imagined the little guy stumbling with drowsy desperation to our room, to […]

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My Wife Just Said… #159

Posted by on May 5th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“When they kissed in old movies, it looked like two people fell into each other’s faces and just stopped. And now it looks painful, like they’re trying to eat each other’s faces off.” -Elizabeth     Every once in a while my wife and I will turn our heads slowly and exchange looks, in response […]

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My Wife Just Said… #157

Posted by on April 21st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Lucas, please! Your penis is not a musical instrument.” -Elizabeth   He’s four and a half years old. I’m sure I made a banjo of my twig and berries at that age, too. But still, it’s not an acoustic performance my wife and I are really interested in observing. Though, and I’m not sure how […]

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My Wife Just Said… #155

Posted by on April 7th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Um. Can I go out in this?” -Elizabeth   There she stood at the front door, posing for me to see. She was wearing colorful, patterned leggings, rain boots, a baggy sweater and a mismatched purse. I frowned as I looked her over and then smiled and said, “Sure!” The fact that I was wearing […]

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My Wife Just Said… #153

Posted by on March 24th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Explaining to our littlest son how trees eat] “Well… The roots are like the mouth of the tree… And I guess the leaves are like… the butthole?”” -Elizabeth   Maybe my wife isn’t the most knowledgeable gardener, but she’s my absolute favorite gardener.   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” When your kid is asleep […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #151

Posted by on March 10th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

So it wasn’t my wife who texted me, but I’ll be honest, I actually stared at this for a solid clueless minute before I replied. I guess I was trying to wring some kind of sense out it, like it was some kind of ancient Egyptian scroll of hieroglyphs my wife had written in emojis. […]

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