How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lizzie

My Wife Just Said… #201

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I thought I had a big head, until I met you. Uhhhh… that didn’t come out right.” -Elizabeth   While the words that came out of her mouth were a little foot-flavored, they happen to be true. All my sons have big noggins, too. In fact, all the men in my family line seem to […]

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My Wife Just FaceTimed… #199

Posted by on February 9th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Whoa! My GOD! FaceTime makes me look so OLD.” -Elizabeth   My wife, of course, went into immediate pouty-lipped facial poses and Blue Steel looks. Which in turn, and also of course, had me choke laughing. Most women have certain standards for the way they look in pictures or on camera. It can take just […]

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My Wife Just Said… #197

Posted by on January 26th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth   It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]

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My Wife Just Said… #195

Posted by on January 12th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “You love me, right?” Me: “Yeeeeeah?” Wife: “And you’ll forgive me, right?” Me: “Uh-oh, what’re you gonna do?” [Wife presses play on her workout music] -Elizabeth   She knows that I have an extreme allergy to her workout “music.” My 5yo son will come up to me with a big devilish grin and tell […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #193

Posted by on December 29th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My wife and I share a passion for sales. We don’t claim to be pros, we’re more like face-painted and foam-finger wielding fans. No, our pillows aren’t stuffed with expired coupons, our use of eBay isn’t like a government intelligence agency, and we’re not thrift shop tag-poppin’ junkies (yet), but if someone puts a BIG […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #191

Posted by on December 15th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  A classic example of a “teacher” writing to a parent about the vital need for a child to bone up on video games. Look it’s even got two bold exclamation points!! Totally legit. When little kids fake messages from their teacher or from one parent to the other or from an imaginary pony, it’s […]

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My Wife Just Said… #189

Posted by on December 1st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Are you okay there with him? Can you look after him while you work?” -Elizabeth   Obviously my answer was, yes. Yes, I could look after him. When you’re doing some of your work from home, or doing the things around the house that sure as hell aren’t going to do themselves, kids never make […]

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My Wife Just Said… #187

Posted by on November 17th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“[Blah blah blah blah blah blah] …can you tell I’ve been alone too much today.” -Elizabeth   I was listening the whole time. The whooooooole time. Which was a really long time. I swear was listening, though! I’m not saying I didn’t run my hand through my hair or rub the bridge of my nose […]

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My Wife Just Loud Voice Said… #185

Posted by on November 3rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“That wasn’t yelling, that was loud voice talking.” -Elizabeth   No one wants to feel like the crappiest parent ever, but you’d think parents adored feeling that way if you judged by how often we seem to go to there. In raising kids, sometimes the pressure mounts, nerves get frayed, limits get hit, and we […]

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My Wife Just Screamed… #183

Posted by on October 20th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Tonight we are having pork chops with apricot glaze seared and roasted in a cast iron skillet [grabs cast iron skillet] AAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!!! Can you hand me an ice pack, honey?” -Elizabeth   When deciding on a family dinner, some people decide to go all out, preparing a full-on gourmet meal with multiple sides of fancy-schmancy. […]

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