How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Lizzie

My Wife Just Said… #187

Posted by on November 17th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“[Blah blah blah blah blah blah] …can you tell I’ve been alone too much today.” -Elizabeth   I was listening the whole time. The whooooooole time. Which was a really long time. I swear was listening, though! I’m not saying I didn’t run my hand through my hair or rub the bridge of my nose […]

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My Wife Just Loud Voice Said… #185

Posted by on November 3rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“That wasn’t yelling, that was loud voice talking.” -Elizabeth   No one wants to feel like the crappiest parent ever, but you’d think parents adored feeling that way if you judged by how often we seem to go to there. In raising kids, sometimes the pressure mounts, nerves get frayed, limits get hit, and we […]

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My Wife Just Screamed… #183

Posted by on October 20th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Tonight we are having pork chops with apricot glaze seared and roasted in a cast iron skillet [grabs cast iron skillet] AAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!!! Can you hand me an ice pack, honey?” -Elizabeth   When deciding on a family dinner, some people decide to go all out, preparing a full-on gourmet meal with multiple sides of fancy-schmancy. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #181

Posted by on October 6th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Um… What WAS I saying? Ugh. I don’t even remember, I think all of my brain is leaking out into my pad.” -Elizabeth   It’s over 9000° out in sun-stroked California right now. High heat and dehydration make me pretty brainless. It’s as if I’m sweating out my IQ points. Maybe this will result in […]

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My Wife Just Said… #179

Posted by on September 23rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I want to cry. But I just don’t have the energy… I’m SO tired of being high maintenance! I didn’t used to be!” -Elizabeth   She was misty-eyed and exhausted in my arms. I was sitting there listening, occasionally making quiet, encouraging sounds that said I understood and felt for what she was feeling. When […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #177

Posted by on September 10th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

When you’ve got kids, the art of romance and the business of parenting can be a bit of an odd couple. The “biblical sense” normally refers to “knowing,” as in knowing each others brains out, but running a family can easily burn up all a couple’s time and energy, making it impossible to maintain anywhere […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #175

Posted by on August 26th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My wife is so considerate. She’s always so polite and dainty like a Victorian lady twirling a parasol. Unless she happens to be wrestling a particularly stubborn pickle jar or battery compartment, then she’s more like a sailor-mouthed ex-con with anger management issues. But mostly it’s pinkies out and poots in private. Too cute. Regarding […]

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My Wife just Said… #173

Posted by on August 11th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Your laptop is so filthy, you look homeless… except for the fact that homeless people don’t usually have laptops.” -Elizabeth   I fully admit it. It’s kinda true. Sure, I’ve got screen cleaner and wipes and a great joke about how my laptop is a “hipster,” but… still. I’d invest heavily in a company that […]

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My Wife just Said… #171

Posted by on July 29th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Okay. Honey! The toilet and I just became best friends. Let’s take it easy on the romance.” -Elizabeth   The flower of romance can bloom suddenly in the rays of spontaneity. Or it can hit a very firmly closed bathroom door. There’s a time and place for everything, and sometimes “the mood” needs to take […]

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My Wife just Said… #169

Posted by on July 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth   I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. – Previous “My Wife […]

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