How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

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5 Annoying Pieces of Parenting Advice

Posted by on January 21st, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

1. Arguing With Your Kid? DON’T ARGUE WITH THEM It’s so true. Maybe we could apply this same advice to achieve world peace? It’s not like we’re tired, hungry, burnt out, and exasperated. Right? 2. Kid Won’t Eat? JUST MAKE THEM EAT Also applicable: if they eat it five times they’ll keep eating it. Picky […]

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Comments: 7

7 Signs You’re A Parent

Posted by on January 13th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

1. You Repeat Yourself You don’t like telling the same stories, giving repeat instructions and pleading over/over/over again that you need something vital to happen. But that’s what happens. Every day. All the time. 1. You Repeat Yourself You don’t like telling the same stories, giving repeat instructions and pleading over/over/over again that you need […]

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Comments: 1

5 Ways You Can Prevent Sucking At Fatherhood

Posted by on November 6th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Listen, no one is perfect, but we all want to do better as parents. Today, I want to give some advice, which while rare for HTBAD as a general rule, is something that becomes necessary following major life events, elections, global infections, and any general pants-shitting news. I want to give you five areas to […]

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Comments: 7

5 Ways Fitbit Is Ruining My Life

Posted by on July 11th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Man, everyone is wearing some kind of strap on their wrist these days. We’re counting our steps, calories from the foods we eat and everything else that has a number on it. Sometimes I see people pacing and wonder if they’re stressed out or just trying to reach their walking quota for the day. We […]

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Comments: 5

9 Things I’d Rather Do Than Hang Out with a Teething Baby

Posted by on May 22nd, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

I love my infant son, Arden. Very much. He’s such a fun guy already and we are creating an amazing little bond that grows each day. I love him and his smiles and coos and little poops. He’s such a great baby. But teething can go f*ck itself. It tests everything I have. It turns […]

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Comments: 19

9 Parenting Tips from the Movie ‘Zombieland’

Posted by on March 13th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Yes. It’s time for another helpful parenting lesson using zombie culture. In case you didn’t learn the first time, the second time or every other time, this one should teach you something. I guess. I was a big fan of “Zombieland” when it came out. There was something sort of inspiring about it, though I […]

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Comments: 16

5 Reasons Your Wife Hates You

Posted by on February 7th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Marriages can be tough. Heck, working together with human beings in any capacity can be rough business, but in this case you’re jumping into the foxhole with someone who splits electricity bills with you and sees your junk constantly. Or less constantly, depending on your foxhole schedules. I’ve been with my partner in crime for […]

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Comments: 15

5 Ways New Year’s Eve Is Just Like Being a Parent

Posted by on January 1st, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

We made it. Most of us. We made it through 2013 and we are birthed into a new year like screaming babes covered in slimy goodness into the arms of our mommies, another January. But if you’ve spent a night of debauchery ringing in the new year, I’m here to tell you: you’re qualified to […]

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Comments: 2

5 Things I Will Never Do (Now That I’m a Dad)

Posted by on October 29th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

I’ve often told my friends that fatherhood changes you in all the predictable ways. Fighting to keep my individuality and identity, I believe I’ve won more than I’ve lost, and honestly, I’ve lost parts of myself that were bullshitty anyway. But there were some interesting results I didn’t foresee. Namely, I didn’t realize it would […]

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Comments: 34

7 Rules for Parent Etiquette

Posted by on January 5th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Round two of hell week for me and I’m really underwhelmed by the amount of hate mail arriving in my email thing. I did an article on non-parent etiquette some months ago and I felt like I never evened up the score about the faults parents have too. So, here you go. Let’s go ahead […]

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Comments: 154