Home Intruder Claus
By now, many of you have experienced of one of the most invasive experiences to ever face mankind: Santa Claus. For years, we’ve struggled under the shadow of this overweight cat burglar. Though he “brings presents” to us, we all know he breaks into our houses through our chimneys, the most available weakness of our [...]
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Fear of Falling
Sometimes, we don’t realize what we’re ACTUALLY afraid of until we experience that which scares us, like the fear of falling when you’re waking from a dream. As a younger man, I remember the first time someone asked me to hold their baby. I was so nervous and uncomfortable. Why did they ask me? I [...]
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The Textrix Has You, Neo
My son was huddled over the glow of his phone, chuckling madly. PARENTAL RED ALERT! Apparently an anonymous admirer was texting him. It was impossible for me not to be immediately suspicious and picture some really hairy 40-year-old dude in a pink tutu on other side of the text thread, trying to get at my [...]
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Protecting Who You Are
The amount of travel I’ve been doing, since the birth of this mutant website, now rivals my experience working for a touring musician as his personal assistant. I loved getting my passport stamped and riding those metal birds even though the sheer amount of work was for the birds. We travelled a bunch when I [...]
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Scamming Yourself
Disclosure: This post is brought to you today by LifeLock, a leader in identity theft protection. This post is my own opinion and my crazytalk doesn’t necessarily reflect the opinions of Lifelock or its staff. I’m tired of scamming myself into thinking I’m a good enough parent. I’ve realized today, after a 21-hour run, that [...]
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