How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Kids

10 Insider Tips for Playing with Kids

Posted by on January 28th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

Here are some tips and warnings for parents signing up for the full-contact, mind-bending sport known as Playing. I’ve added 6-second videos to each point to demonstrate more fully humorously. You can turn the sound on and off in the lower-left of each video. (Some of these get a bit festive, so you may want […]

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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Drunken Cobra

Posted by on January 14th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

A baby can be like a drunken cobra, that is they would be, if snakes had a habit of irresponsibly drinking way too much sake and then going on a rampage. A baby’s finger and toe nails are sharper than samurai swords, and their coordination and aim? Worse than a government’s. Wobbly and unpredictable, an […]

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My Kid Just Said… #56

Posted by on October 28th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I gonna take dis gwass of water an’ pour it in dat bowl of dirt. Because… ya aaaaaaalways need mud.” -Lucas (2013, 5 years old)   My cheeks cramped from smiling after he said this, but I kept watching with my spasmodic smirk as he happily turned dirt into mud with water, and my brow […]

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Toilet Safety: Advanced Adult Toilet Training

Posted by on October 22nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  After a person learns how to go by themselves, it’s like they’ve suddenly graduated and they’re left to figure out the rest on their own. But, besides kids learning to not have “accidents,” there’s way more to know about and avoid in the gentle art of going to the bathroom. Delta Faucet teamed up […]

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A First-Grader’s Poem Moved Me More Than Shakespeare

Posted by on October 16th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

The poem pictured above was supposedly written by a first grader. Here’s a formatted and slightly corrected text version:   We did the soft wind We danced slowly We swirled around We danced soft We listened to the music We danced to the music We made personal space   This was written by a kid, […]

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Types of Boogers (A Cartoonized Guide)

Posted by on October 2nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When we’re younger, we’re nearly always poorly educated about boogers. It’s obvious kids are fascinated by them, but parents and adults don’t tend to go much beyond “stop that” and “oh god gross” and “get that out of your mouth!” when it comes to the subject. Kids are typically left to explore the two tunnels […]

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7 Extreme (Probably Definitely Horrible) Back-To-School Measures

Posted by on September 18th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

As you can see, these back-to-school ideas are utterly terrible. No “probably” about it. Not only due to the terrific waste of time and money, but also because they’d result in bulldozing your kid’s individuality while making them a complete outcast laughingstock at school. What parent doesn’t want the best for their kids? With the […]

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Kid Snippets: Job Interview

Posted by on September 17th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Going to a job interview can be a harrowing, soul-crushing experience. And kids know exactly how it feels. And by that I mean they have no freaking clue. This new Kid Snippets video from Bored Shorts TV sums up the totality of what kids think what silly things like “work” and “job interviews” mean to […]

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Parties: Before and After Kids

Posted by on August 1st, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Having kids is such a gift, one that gives you soooooo much. But it also takes things from you. It eats all your food, throws up on your shirt, uses up your toilet paper, walks into rooms naked, constantly asks questions and sleeps most of the time unless it’s bedtime. Looking at it now, kids […]

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Scareded – Scrabble Scribble #10

Posted by on July 23rd, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  The most innocent things can backfire on parents. There’s really no “winning” with kids. No sure formula. What was delicious today may be the worst thing they’ve ever eaten tomorrow. A lullaby might send them to sleep or to the mad house. Seriously. I laughed at my son’s joke the other day and he […]

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