Tag: How Not To

Halloween Dos and Don'ts for 2020

DO’s and DO-NOT’s for Halloween 2020

Posted under NOTEBOOK

Let’s not put a mask on it. Halloween is going to be fairly sucky this year. Pandemic bummers aside, it was supposed to be exceptionally AMAZING. October 31st falls on both a full Blue Moon AND a Saturday! AND the clocks roll back an hour!!! Such a shame. In the days of Halloweens past, all […]



Extreme Tips for Over-Protecting Your Kids

Posted under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, NOTEBOOK

I’ve joined forces with Responsibility.org as one of their paid ambassadors for their TalkEarly campaign, which is about, well… talking early about alcohol responsibility with your kids. Cheers!   We all want to protect our kids’ innocence as long as possible. On one hand, we’re there to protect them; on the other hand, we’re supposed […]



Surviving Being a Passenger When Your Spouse Is Driving

Posted under NOTEBOOK, SNAPSHOTS

“‹ Okay. Maybe they’re not terrible, crazy drivers (unlikely). Maybe it’s because we’re used to driving ourselves (probably not). Maybe your faith in their skill is shaky because they just hit their head on the fridge door or asked you where something was while they were holding it in their hand (now we’re talkin’). Whatever […]



How to Deal with Extremely Awkward Kid Questions

Posted under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Usually without warning, kids will ask you some shocking questions that’ll make you spit your coffee into another zip code. Some parents get nervous just thinking about having “The Talk.” Others have no problem discussing the birds and the bees, but might start looking for the nearest exit while fielding an inquiry about butt plugs. […]



10 Ways Not To Use A Baby Carrier

Posted under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babywearing and parents go together like apples and cheese. Wait, is that only me? It’s a thing, I promise. Anyway, wearing babies is not only an amazing, comfortable way to be mobile with your bundle of boy or girl, it’s also fashion forward. Or forward facing, if you will. But you have to do a […]



Guide to Trick or Treating

A Guide to Being Tricky or Treaty

Posted under NOTEBOOK

This goes against the code at howtobeadad.com: never provide useful or important information, least of all instructions on how to do something. Correctly. So I’ve added in how to do be a total box of chocolate-covered douche-peanuts as well, to even things out. Also, I figure since this isn’t exactly a major parenting or world […]



Performing a Proper High Five so You Too Can Be Cool

Posted under NOTEBOOK

High fives are part of a whole, wonderful family of interactive gestures that are important  to relating to your fellow human beings or your offspring. And being cool. I’ve been terrible at performing high fives and being cool all my life, so I took upon myself to research and develop a set of instructions for […]



The DON’Ts of Waiting on Tables of Families

Posted under NOTEBOOK

There is an art to waiting tables. It is a dying art. It’s certainly a really a hard job, but there are tricks to it. To make it not be so awful. Everyone knows it must be a gruesome task to wait on tables that contain kids, but I’m a parent, so I’m not writing […]



How Kids Actually Wash Their Hands Funny Instructional Diagram

How Kids Actually Wash Their Hands

Posted under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  There’s a whole vast world of supposed-to’s; the proper ways to do things. Just so you know, children don’t tend to be very willing residents in this supposed-to world. When you’re trying to instruct them in the ways of this world, quite often they’re just going to apply some whatever-the-heck-they-want-or-happens-to-pop-into-their-little-heads liberally, and maybe add […]