How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

How Not To

10 Ways Not To Use A Baby Carrier

Posted by on August 25th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babywearing and parents go together like apples and cheese. Wait, is that only me? It’s a thing, I promise. Anyway, wearing babies is not only an amazing, comfortable way to be mobile with your bundle of boy or girl, it’s also fashion forward. Or forward facing, if you will. But you have to do a […]

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A Guide to Being Tricky or Treaty

Posted by on October 10th, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

This goes against the code at howtobeadad.com: never provide useful or important information, least of all instructions on how to do something. Correctly. So I’ve added in how to do be a total box of chocolate-covered douche-peanuts as well, to even things out. Also, I figure since this isn’t exactly a major parenting or world […]

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Performing a Proper High Five so You Too Can Be Cool

Posted by on March 20th, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

High fives are part of a whole, wonderful family of interactive gestures that are important to relating to your fellow human beings or your offspring. And being cool. I’ve been terrible at performing high fives and being cool all my life, so I took upon myself to research and develop a set of instructions for successfully […]

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The DON’Ts of Waiting on Tables of Families

Posted by on February 22nd, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

There is an art to waiting tables. It is a dying art. It’s certainly a really a hard job, but there are tricks to it. To make it not be so awful. Everyone knows it must be a gruesome task to wait on tables that contain kids, but I’m a parent, so I’m not writing […]

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A Guide to Extreme Flu Preparedness & Response for Families

Posted by on February 13th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Being sick sucks. However, it is the Seventh Circle of Suck when you have kids, or your kids are sick, or it’s an all out family-demic. Good news is: there are steps you can take. Bad news is: I didn’t include any of the helpful ones you should take to prevent or deal with sickness […]

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How Kids Actually Wash Their Hands

Posted by on September 7th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  There’s a whole vast world of supposed-to’s; the proper ways to do things. Just so you know, children don’t tend to be very willing residents in this supposed-to world. When you’re trying to instruct them in the ways of this world, quite often they’re just going to apply some whatever-the-heck-they-want-or-happens-to-pop-into-their-little-heads liberally, and maybe add […]

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Teaching a Kid How to Tie Their Shoes

Posted by on July 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Teaching our kids how to do stuff is our job as parents. It can be difficult. Drinking our own urine can seem preferable at times. One of the hardest parts of teaching kids anything is watching them do it wrong. Over and over and over and over. Some parent’s cannot even do it; they swoop […]

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The Super Mega PERIOD

Posted by on May 29th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Not that kind of “period.” The period that ends a sentence. Or in this case, unleashes armageddon on an entire line of discussion and debate, or backtalk festivals and whiney begging campaigns, in the case of children and politicians. When you’re trying to give a final answer on a subject that won’t seem to end, […]

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How to Commit the Perfect Toy Murder

Posted by on May 22nd, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Oh how they sing. Oh how they dance. You gave it as a gift, not knowing any better. Or someone else gave it to your kid, not knowing that it could ultimately make you want to stab pens in your ears or kill yourself. But whatever you […]

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“How Not To” Instructional Diagram: Baby Carriers

Posted by on May 10th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  It has been said that “for every way to do something right, there are a thousand ways do it wrong.” Instruction manuals tend to concentrate on how-to’s, but trust us, the ways you can do or use something incorrectly is far more interesting. Whether it’s helpful is really secondary at How To Be A […]

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Comments: 25