How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Game

TODDLER BINGO! Because Parents Deserve to Win Something

Posted by on August 19th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

The thing about playing Bingo is that you’re going to go through an epic crap ton of numbers before anyone hits five in a row. The same is true for Toddler Bingo. Parents will experience a vast array of toddlerisms before they hit the jackpot. Refusing to eat something, wanting to eat things they shouldn’t, […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Rank Side of the Force

Posted by on July 25th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Sometimes your baby or child does things that impress you beyond the normal “wow, he squeezed my finger” or “holy crap, she ate the whole thing!” Stuff that’s extraordinary. These achievements can even get you thinking they’re prodigies at something, or what they’ve done is somehow foreshadowing of some specific future for them, some destiny. […]

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Play Games… WITH PIZZA!

Posted by on July 18th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  The DiGeniuses at DiGiorno® helped us bring you this post, but the ideas are purely the symptoms of my own hunger and insanity and are intended for entertainment purposes only. Please operate pizza responsibly!   It’s generally agreed that kids shouldn’t play with their food. This probably comes from the fact that kids’ hands […]

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Hunting For Treasure In L.A.

Posted by on June 26th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

The other day, I took my boys on a treasure hunt — an actual hunt for actual treasure. And as we crisscrossed Hollywood on the trail of [REDACTED], we naturally discussed aliens. Well, one alien in particular… Let me explain. In the film Earth to Echo, a group of kids discover a mysterious life-form and […]

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An Honest Modern-Day Kids’ Fashion Paper Doll

Posted by on May 21st, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Paper dolls have been around since forever, or the mid-18th century (close enough to forever). Little printed playthings you could cut out and dress up in coordinated outfits, luxurious new fashions, with PAIRS of the same socks and shoes, etc. Pure fantasy. It’s not that anyone who grows up really tires of fantasy and escape. […]

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PARENT OPERATION (The Game)

Posted by on April 23rd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Playing this game could seriously teach parents some vital skills in raising their kids. First and foremost: PATIENCE. Followed by the close 2nd: the ability to tolerate sudden startling noises. There’s probably a whole grab bag of other useful parenting traits to be gained or honed in playing this updated version of the classic kids’ […]

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The Evolutionary Progress of Kids’ Games

Posted by on March 26th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Listen, I’m not one of those old men sitting in his boxers on the porch spraying people with a hose as they walk all over his lawn. Okay, fine. I am, but with that completely aside, are kids today too coddled and catered to? I think the answer is “yes” and now I have unequivocal […]

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My Son Is a Loser

Posted by on March 21st, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

We sit bobbing in the pool like pale apples waiting to be plucked. My son is crying into his flotation device and I am expectantly staring at him. This is not going as well as I’d hoped. “This game is boring and dumb. I hate it.” He’s over it. I’m treading water, literally and figuratively, […]

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Daddy Vader Says… No Escape

Posted by on March 7th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh… Yeah, the breathing is really ominous, sure. But it’s the things Daddy Vader says in between all the robotic huffing and puffing that gets an Imperial officer or a child shaking in their boots. Especially if they’ve just let a rebel ship get away, or because they need to “turn a frown upside down” […]

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Notice Anything Different, Honey?

Posted by on February 18th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Hands on buzzers, people. What’s the exciting play-at-home game show of observation, memory and panic most couples have played, where one person is the unwitting contestant (or defendant) and the other person is host (or prosecutor) as well as being the game show board itself? It’s called Notice Anything Different, Honey? Let me explain. One […]

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