How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Funny

My Kid Just Said… #40

Posted by on March 12th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“Soooo… how was the wedding?” [confused looks] “…Yours and Mommy’s.” -Lucas (2013, 4.5 years old)   It just sort of took us by surprise because it came completely out of nowhere. We both riffled through our crappy parent memories for what wedding he could be talking about. Once he clarified, we both shared a long, […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #151

Posted by on March 10th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

So it wasn’t my wife who texted me, but I’ll be honest, I actually stared at this for a solid clueless minute before I replied. I guess I was trying to wring some kind of sense out it, like it was some kind of ancient Egyptian scroll of hieroglyphs my wife had written in emojis. […]

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Daddy Vader Says… No Escape

Posted by on March 7th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh… Yeah, the breathing is really ominous, sure. But it’s the things Daddy Vader says in between all the robotic huffing and puffing that gets an Imperial officer or a child shaking in their boots. Especially if they’ve just let a rebel ship get away, or because they need to “turn a frown upside down” […]

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Types of Parent Heart Conditions

Posted by on March 6th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING Becoming a parent or experiencing prolonged exposure to babies and children may cause a variety of pleasurable and undesirable heart episodes.   Kids don’t make you feel anything you haven’t felt before. Delude yourself all you want, but they just don’t. However, they can act like emotional lenses, sharpening and intensifying […]

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We All Start Out the Same

Posted by on March 4th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

How totally exactly like Ian McKellen does this baby look!?!   “Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.”   A wonderfully inspirational concept from The Lord of the Rings. I’ve found a lot of people have a difficult time believing something much bigger of themselves, or some facet, at least. Whether […]

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My Wife Just Said… #149

Posted by on February 24th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Your snoring last night kept me up for hours. You sounded like a hyena choking on its own snot. Yes you were! I recorded it…” [ Presses play on her phone ] -Elizabeth   I watched her nighttime video intently, more importantly I listened to it. Um. So yeah. We’re lucky a neighbor didn’t call […]

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Kid Definishons: “Yesterday”

Posted by on February 21st, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Young kids are about as good at making accurate time references as I am at rolling a ball of water in my hands. When a kid is describing something that happened, parents know that when they say “yesterday” that the word has an elasticity that stretches from a millisecond before now all the way back […]

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Notice Anything Different, Honey?

Posted by on February 18th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

Hands on buzzers, people. What’s the exciting play-at-home game show of observation, memory and panic most couples have played, where one person is the unwitting contestant (or defendant) and the other person is host (or prosecutor) as well as being the game show board itself? It’s called Notice Anything Different, Honey? Let me explain. One […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Victory

Posted by on February 14th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

When you’re a kid, parents can be a little like Daddy Vader. Incredibly rad but at the same time intimidating in a way. Playing card games with him has to be a little more exciting than with anyone else. When he throws down, it’s a little more down than anyone else, right? At least when […]

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My Kid Just Said… #39

Posted by on February 14th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I watewwed da pwants!” [Big smile] “…By going PEE PEE!” -Lucas (2013, 4 years old)  This was the first time my littlest son peed outside. On nature (neighborhood shrubs count as nature, right?). We’ve all had it happen. No bathroom. No diaper. Not enough time to make it to either. One can almost hear the […]

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