How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Funny

A Guide to Kid Fibs (Illustrated)

Posted by on July 22nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The rad people at The Honest Company helped us bring you this post because DUH, honesty is the best policy.   Kids are little lying sacks of giggles. It doesn’t mean they’re evil or you’ve raised them wrong — they seem to learn it automatically, like breathing, apparently. There are all kinds of reasons kids […]

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Play Games… WITH PIZZA!

Posted by on July 18th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  The DiGeniuses at DiGiorno® helped us bring you this post, but the ideas are purely the symptoms of my own hunger and insanity and are intended for entertainment purposes only. Please operate pizza responsibly!   It’s generally agreed that kids shouldn’t play with their food. This probably comes from the fact that kids’ hands […]

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“Coffee Table” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on July 18th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

The stuff kids can get attached to can surprise any parent, and it’ll quickly teach them that it’s best to clean house when the little one’s are away. You see, for kids, there can be a really fine and blurry line between something like a beloved family pet of years and, well, any ol’ inanimate […]

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My Kid Just Said… #51

Posted by on July 16th, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“I gonna lay off food for a while.” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old)   Hearing this from my 5-year-old beanpole of a son was a definite “Wait what!?” moment. You see, saying “going to” implies that one isn’t already doing it. Since birth.   – Previous My Kid Just Said What a kid would do […]

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My Wife just Said… #169

Posted by on July 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth   I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. – Previous “My Wife […]

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“The Elevator” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on July 10th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Most adults don’t realize that, all grown up, we will never want anything as excruciatingly bad as a child wants to press buttons. Elevator buttons especially! Add two mini humans in one elevator? Welp… No good can come of that. Watch and laugh. You know you want to press the button! Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to […]

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Juicebag – Scrabble Scribble #9

Posted by on July 8th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

  You’re there. Life is happening to you. You respond. And your kid observes attentively. A reckless automobastard cutting you off for no good reason; a ferocious toy attacking your poor unsuspecting toe; a lengthy support call (that was aaaaaaaaaall call and no support) suddenly dropping off. Occasionally, some dirt hits the kid-filter so hard […]

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“Electricity” : Convos With My 2-Year-Old

Posted by on July 4th, 2014, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Explaining danger to your kid can be kind of hair raising for parents, but if it’s someone else who’s doing the explaining, it can be pretty flippin’ funny. We’re big fans of stick figure signs here at HowToBeADad.com, so this is especially priceless. Enjoy! Subscribe to ConvosWith2YrOld to follow the series. (Liking, favoriting and commenting […]

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Alternative Diets for Parents

Posted by on July 3rd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The biggest problem with food is that it’s delicious and available. So, wouldn’t the overarching concept behind an effective diet be to reduce the amount of food available or to suppress the desire for it, or simply remove its deliciousness? Maybe not, but whatever, right?! If you choose the Kid-Made Diet, you’ll have no problem […]

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My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167

Posted by on July 1st, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID...", "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.”   Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???”   Wife: “There’s a… hole.”   Son: “In you butt?”   Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.”   Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]

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