How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Food

My Wife Just Said… [Got milk]

Posted by on September 13th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

This would have been a funny, slightly dysfunctional Got Milk ad. Well, it would have been funnier if I wasn’t living it, and having to drive back to the grocery store for a single item. One thing I was never prepared for in parenthood is the mind-boggling number of times I’ve gone to a grocery […]

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In Real Life Dad Jokes (Hall of Shame pt. 11)

Posted by on August 7th, 2018, under SNAPSHOTS

Anyone with lungs and the ability to speak can tell dad jokes – man, woman or child really – but it takes a special commitment to turn them into prop comedy. Here are 16 such real-life dad jokes for your en-groan-ment! 1) Strong enough for a man, but made for a dad.   2) Happy […]

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Anti-Kid-Sharing Snack Packaging

Posted by on July 24th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

It’s almost magical how kids can suddenly appear at the tiniest crinkle of a plastic bag. But it’s that crappy magic like a bad luck curse or the summoning of demons or evil spirits. We’re adults. We have earned the right to have our OWN snacks. Without our kids making us feel like we’re wearing […]

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Bad Product Ideas: Condiments Edition

Posted by on May 25th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Is your kid cuckoo for ketchup? Could your kid chug ranch by the ladleful? Well then, you’re gonna love these bold new food offerings! Or um… your kid is probably going to. You’re more likely to experience something a little less lovey and a little more gaggy as a response.   Condimentsicles Sure, most of […]

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My Wife Just Said… #339

Posted by on May 9th, 2018, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Sometimes I extend my hand for a sarcastic introductory handshake when my wife asks silly things that she should absolutely know about me by now, or over a decade ago. I loooove food. And I also love not wasting money. It’s a powerful combination I find truly difficult to resist. In our house we don’t […]

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My Wife Just Binged… #334

Posted by on October 23rd, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My wife an I have our routines, on the weekend especially. I’ll cook dinner and we’ll all watch a family movie in the living room while we eat. Then, once the bedtime marathon has been run, my wife and I will put on something less G-rated and have some wine and chocolate. I don’t have […]

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11 Funnies That Pumpkin Spice Lovers and Haters Can Enjoy

Posted by on September 29th, 2017, under NOTEBOOK, SNAPSHOTS

Fall is upon us. And with it, of course, the floodgates of pumpkin spice have opened. People either love it, or love hating on it. But for all the people who aren’t doing caffeine and sugar fueled cartwheels over this seasonal flavor gimmick, there’s a vast world joy to be had making fun of it. […]

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If Toddlers Wrote Yelp Reviews

Posted by on September 8th, 2017, under SNAPSHOTS

Every parent knows how absolutely crazy kids can be about food. Throw that hot mess into the public arena of a restaurant and things only get nuttier. So, let’s have a look at some reviews toddlers might write, if they could write like us big people.            

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My Wife Just Said… #326

Posted by on August 7th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Sometimes we put off things, kidding ourselves that they won’t be so bad when we do them later. HAH! I’m not sure how we fool ourselves into these utter interplanetary flights of fancy. Maybe it’s that our distaste for a task is so extreme that it gives us the delusion-fuel we need to con ourselves […]

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Drama, It’s What’s for Dinner (Video Compilation)

Posted by on July 28th, 2017, under VIDEOTAPE

I can’t personally remember being an absolute douchecanoe about food when I was a kid. Then I thought this might be some kind of self-imposed amnesia our bodies perform, because if they didn’t, we might not procreate as a species if we had crystal clear memories of the little horrors we were. So, I asked […]

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