How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Farting

My Wife Just Texted… #175

Posted by on August 26th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My wife is so considerate. She’s always so polite and dainty like a Victorian lady twirling a parasol. Unless she happens to be wrestling a particularly stubborn pickle jar or battery compartment, then she’s more like a sailor-mouthed ex-con with anger management issues. But mostly it’s pinkies out and poots in private. Too cute. Regarding […]

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Kid Definishons: “Poobles”

Posted by on August 8th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

When you hear the word “poo” in association with your kid being in the bathtub, you just kind of tense up and slowly peer over the edge to scan for the surprise of a floating “tub toy” that wasn’t there before. Luckily, it was just an underwater bathtub fart, and the little mer-kid is only […]

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My Wife Just Farted… #120

Posted by on August 7th, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Farts] “Whoops! Well. My mom always said, ‘Better out than in.’” -Elizabeth Sage advice. No one wants to fartsplode. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” A pregnant woman should never be denied the right to complain. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us. 

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The Fart Chart

Posted by on August 5th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Everyone poops. Fact. But before they do, they fart. Anyways, like them or not, they’re here to stay. Well… hopefully not too long actually. You see, holding in your gas can be vital in some circumstances: first dates, once in a lifetime elevator pitches, second dates, epic sports moments, third dates, acceptance speeches, etc., but […]

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My Wife Just Said… #102

Posted by on March 18th, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My son, Finn, walked over to me and farted on my leg. -charlie   “What can I say? You bring out the best in Finn.” -Avara   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”Self-conscious much?  

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My Wife Just Said… #56

Posted by on April 23rd, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“How come when Finn farts, it’s cute, but when we do… it’s gross?” -Avara   I MESSED UP. THIS IS A DUPLICATE. HERE’S MY WIFE’S RESPONSE. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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My Wife Just Said… #46

Posted by on February 15th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“How come when Finn farts, it’s cute. But when you do… It’s gross?” -Avara   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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My Wife Just Said… #45

Posted by on January 31st, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“You sound just like your son. … No no, not something he said. He’s been ripping farts all day.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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