How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Daddy Vader Says

Daddy Vader Says… Rank Side of the Force

Posted by on July 25th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Sometimes your baby or child does things that impress you beyond the normal “wow, he squeezed my finger” or “holy crap, she ate the whole thing!” Stuff that’s extraordinary. These achievements can even get you thinking they’re prodigies at something, or what they’ve done is somehow foreshadowing of some specific future for them, some destiny. […]

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Daddy Vader Says… No Escape

Posted by on March 7th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh…Hhhhhhhooo-pahhhh… Yeah, the breathing is really ominous, sure. But it’s the things Daddy Vader says in between all the robotic huffing and puffing that gets an Imperial officer or a child shaking in their boots. Especially if they’ve just let a rebel ship get away, or because they need to “turn a frown upside down” […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Victory

Posted by on February 14th, 2014, under SNAPSHOTS

When you’re a kid, parents can be a little like Daddy Vader. Incredibly rad but at the same time intimidating in a way. Playing card games with him has to be a little more exciting than with anyone else. When he throws down, it’s a little more down than anyone else, right? At least when […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Defend Yourself

Posted by on November 29th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

Even if parents can’t wield the Force to deliver wedgies or noogies or zerbers from across a long dining table, kids need to be taught that they should be on their guard at all times. The way you teach them this is by delivering sneak-attack tickles, wedgies, noogies or zerbers. They’ll pick it up right […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Displeased

Posted by on October 25th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

What a kid and Imperial staff aboard the Death Star have in common is lots. Sometimes it seems ridiculously generous to use the “progress” for the chore or activity being performed. If something is worth asking to be done over and over and over again, it’s worth doing right. Right? The first time. Not after […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Open Wide

Posted by on September 20th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

Whatever mode of transportation you use to shuttle food into the cargo bay in your baby’s face station, we all have to admit that Yoda looked pretty good for a 900-year-old! Right??? And now that we all agree on that, let’s also all agree and admit that making a good tie fighter screech-roar is really […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Bedtime

Posted by on September 5th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

They’ll pay you compliments and pour on the affection. They’ll make promises or deals. They’ll even resort to tormented begging and pouty threats. When it’s bedtime, kids’ll try nearly anything for that precious five more minutes.* * “five more minutes” is defined here in the sense that children use it: until the child passes out […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Hide and Seek

Posted by on July 15th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

Really though? With little kids, hide and seek is more like “hide and give up” or “hide and scream out where your cool hiding place is right away.” So, Daddy Vader being a menacing, inexorable seeker just doesn’t seem that Dark as far as sides of the Force go. As they get older though, watch […]

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Daddy Vader Says… Because Why

Posted by on July 3rd, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

Why? How? What? Whatever! All of these questions can be applied in an infinite loop by a kid in a conversation. Why can’t I have a pony? Because ponies cost a lot and require the right home. But why? Because ponies are not small animals and need a lot of food and space. But why? […]

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Daddy Vader Says… You Win at Losing

Posted by on June 19th, 2013, under SNAPSHOTS

Parents can candy-coat it when they’re kicking their kid’s miniature butt in a game, to make them feel better and offer an emotional trophy for trying. Buck up, little champ, straight A’s for effort! You lost the battle but not the war! It’s always darkest before the dawn! Pffft! Kids know when they’re being vanquished. […]

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