Mad Science, Potions and Cat Food
My son, Lucas, recently reminded me of something from my own childhood. Though oddly, something has happened to a lot of these memories of being a kid since having kids. The perspective of parenthood can shed a really different, very bright light on memories. My parents gave me a very free hand as a kid. [...]
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Shaving without Scaring the Kids
A major change to your hair, head or facial, is one of the fastest, most dramatic alterations to the way you look. Especially when you’ve had it a certain way for a long time and then toss a high-yield grenade of change at it. It can be very startling for others, especially your kids. So, [...]
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Manners that Don’t Suck
I’m going to sound like a pissed off old man. And I’m good with that. Bad manners are rampant. The way I see things going, manners these days are like harsh meanness and disinterested oblivion had a baby, and then that baby was handed a case of Red Bull and a shotgun. Hey, look! Our [...]
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Homemade Birthday Cards 2004: Max’s 4th / Cody’s 6th
Cody’s Sixth Birthday: 2004 Max’s Third Birthday: 2004 To recap: I make birthday cards for each year my boys. Lucas (2), Max (11), Cody (13). As they got older, I started designing them around what seemed to rock their socks off. I was thrilled the year Cody turned 6 and Max 4 and they were [...]
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Giving Yourself the Death Penalty
Kids are easy to hurt. Plain and simple. They’re little and tend to be uncoordinated, and compared to them we’re BIG and… tend to be uncoordinated. Look, we don’t even spank the boys in our house, so this isn’t some child abuser’s psychotic attempt at an excuse for going postal on one’s offspring. I’m talking [...]
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The Steps to Manhood
Various cultures have different marks of “becoming a man.” Sprouting chest hair, tearing a bottle cap off with your teeth, “knowing” a woman, wrestling a croc, to name a few. However, I noticed that there didn’t seem to be a lot of broad attention from most men on the more subtle steps that lead up [...]
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Chocolate-Chipless Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe
Cooking with your kids is fun. Baking is funner. Why? Because it’s all the fun of cooking without the stress of hot pans, flame and sharp blades near or in the hands of your children. FYI, burns and open wounds can seriously blunt the enjoyment of good family times and the satisfaction of a teaching [...]
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The Legend of The Guy
This isn’t just a story about family fun and injury at a maximum-security roller skating rink. This transcends mere storytelling. It is a timeless tale, one where we simply served as honored witnesses to a legend. The Guy. The Fortress of Roller Skating When Max and Cody and I pulled up to the brick [...]
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Go, Team Weird, Go!
I love being weird. And I love how weird my family is. I love my wife snatching my hand while I’m driving to use my finger as a microphone while lip-syncing to Barbra Streisand. Or when she says to me “Chocky wocky ‘n’ pom pom?” The fact that I know exactly what she means makes [...]
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Homemade Birthday Cards 2003: Max’s 3rd / Cody’s 5th
Max’s Third and Cody’s Fifth Birthday: 2003 I know what you’re all thinking. And you’re right. There is no spoon. Oh, that’s not what you were thinking? Maybe you were thinking, “WTF? Andy, you let your 5- and 3-year-old watch the Matrix movies!?!” No. But they were so taken by the previews, and because [...]
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