How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Breastfeeding

A Wild Baby Attack with a Chocolate Milk Ending

Posted by on June 20th, 2017, under VIDEOTAPE

Here we see dramatic video footage of a mom’s boob being viciously attacked by her ravenous newborn! No, not really! Haha! But her adorable little daughter, Ava, seemed to think so. When she toddles into the hospital room where she caught her mom breastfeeding the hungry new arrival, she didn’t seem to know what to […]

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Bad Product Idea #18: Colemom Breastfeeding Tent

Posted by on March 17th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] I contacted a representative from Colemom, makers of the controversial 1.5 person breastfeeding tent, to see what in all the hecks and dangs this was all about! To investigate why nursing moms needed to enrobe themselves in personal camping gear to hide a part of Nature itself from […]

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Comments: 15

Defense Against Misinformed Parenting Advice

Posted by on January 3rd, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

  When you’re learning to navigate the turbulent waters of new parenthood, you’ll undoubtedly encounter a lot of folks offering what they think are time-tested words of wisdom. Sure, these (usually childless) people mean well, but when caring for your first newborn, these bits of advice often do nothing more than exacerbate your already tense […]

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Comments: 55

Boob Visibility Comparison Chart (Models vs Mothers)

Posted by on November 6th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Mothers. They hide in bathroom stalls, fashion elaborate blankie wigwams or take cover behind mall ferns and alley dumpsters to protect us from the horror of the breastfeeding process. And by “us” I mean the few deranged and perverted assholes whose stomachs and backs have turned on a process that is commonly known as fucking […]

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Comments: 98

Don’t Bring Dirty Looks to a Machete Fight

Posted by on November 14th, 2012, under SNAPSHOTS

How many looks of disgust or ohmahgosh rolls of the eyes do you think this mom gets breastfeeding in public? Bingo! Not many. At least not from people with a full set of arms in their collection. You could argue that it’s because she’s a part of a primitive society and that they’re all simply […]

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Comments: 57

Bad Product Idea #11: The Boob Hat

Posted by on September 10th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies and toddlers have lots to do, all the time. Even when they have nothing to do, they’ll be busy doing something. But feeding can be suuuuuch an annoyance. Babies shouldn’t be required to put down the blocks every single chow time, wrapping themselves around Mommy’s midsection to suckle, or impersonating a sack of potatoes […]

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Comments: 26

Breastfeeding Debate Multiplication Chart

Posted by on May 15th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Maybe the debate scores on this chart will help people to gauge how crazy the conversation at the group picnic is going to get when breastfeeding comes up. Maybe not. Maybe it’ll only be useful to news channels and magazine editors interested in maximizing the number of […]

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Comments: 135

My Wife Just Texted… #49

Posted by on March 7th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Texted ] “So you still love me with my saggier boobies? Too bad they don’t have a saggy boobs emoticon. he he 😕 “ -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Comments: 46

Gimme My Boobies Back!

Posted by on January 23rd, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

The Boob Decision Moms tend to be beautiful, near-magical creatures. But when it comes down to a heated breastfeeding debate, sometimes we’re left with just the creature part. But this isn’t about that, we’ll leave that one to better writers who are actually women. Mothering.com ran a design contest for a universally recognizable symbol for […]

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Comments: 102

My Wife Just Said… #39

Posted by on December 14th, 2011, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Baby sick] “I think one of his plugged up nostrils finally cleared up, he’s nursing like MAD now! I’m so glad, my boobs are ready to explode!” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Comments: 18