How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Banana Added for Scale

My Wife Just Texted… #227

Posted by on August 24th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Yeah, so… sometimes you need to add a banana, not for scale, but for sexy. Or just for laughs. But also still for sexy. #pls #seriously #alsoorganic – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Pizza > yogurt, but it’s a messy competition. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us. 

Comments: 0

Scratch ‘N’ Whiff (FOR PARENTS)

Posted by on July 1st, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Remember Scratch N’ Sniff stickers? If you don’t, then I’m sorry for you, either for your being born too late or for your terrible misfortune of being raised by wolves under a rock. For those of us that do remember rubbing the scent genie out of its goofily illustrated, circular adhesive bottle on trapper keepers […]

Comments: 7

Bad Product Idea #18: Colemom Breastfeeding Tent

Posted by on March 17th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] I contacted a representative from Colemom, makers of the controversial 1.5 person breastfeeding tent, to see what in all the hecks and dangs this was all about! To investigate why nursing moms needed to enrobe themselves in personal camping gear to hide a part of Nature itself from […]

Comments: 15

Your Certificate of Not Losing Your Sh*t

Posted by on February 19th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

[ Click for a printable .pdf ] Your patience wasn’t tested, it was napalmed. But you didn’t blow your top, even if you didn’t quite “keep your cool.” Whether it was because of your kid, your significant other, your boss or whoever, you made it though a day that wasn’t just awful, it was what […]

Comments: 3

An Honest Modern-Day Kids’ Fashion Paper Doll

Posted by on May 21st, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Paper dolls have been around since forever, or the mid-18th century (close enough to forever). Little printed playthings you could cut out and dress up in coordinated outfits, luxurious new fashions, with PAIRS of the same socks and shoes, etc. Pure fantasy. It’s not that anyone who grows up really tires of fantasy and escape. […]

Comments: 13

BREAKING NEWS: Famed Humorist Found with Banana in Compromising Position

Posted by on February 19th, 2014, under NOTEBOOK

:: For immediate and premature release. :: Famed Humorist Found with Banana in Compromising Position Noted author, designer, illustrator and humorist, Andy Herald, was found this morning in a compromising position with a tropical fruit. Herald, a native Los Angeleno and pious wearer of iPod/iPhone earbuds, is well-known for his “instructional diagrams” and use of […]

Comments: 5

Snowman Building by Child Age

Posted by on December 2nd, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies are really terrible at making stuff. Unless it’s poop or pee, or making us smile and never sleep. So their first snowmen will require quite a bit of parental assembly. Some people wonder why parents do this for their babies (birthdays and snowmen and such), hinting that it’s all really just for the parents. […]

Comments: 7

A Guide to Extreme Flu Preparedness & Response for Families

Posted by on February 13th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Being sick sucks. However, it is the Seventh Circle of Suck when you have kids, or your kids are sick, or it’s an all out family-demic. Good news is: there are steps you can take. Bad news is: I didn’t include any of the helpful ones you should take to prevent or deal with sickness […]

Comments: 26

Pac-Man Christmas Wishes

Posted by on December 25th, 2012, under SNAPSHOTS

May your holidays be loaded with power pellets, bouncing fruit and joy…sticks? Nom nom nom, Charlie & Andy – Facebook Arcade Game? Imagine what a quarter-gobbling black hole Facebook would be if it were. Instructional Diagrams Learning, minus all the learning, but plus all the fun. 

Comments: 4

How to Raise a Hobbit

Posted by on December 6th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

I’ve written this brief How-To guide for my fellow fanatics, who have or plan to have kids, to raise their human children as hobbits. Why, you ask? I loved The Hobbit before I even read it. It was like I was born under the enchantment of its magical spell. Reading it in my teens only […]

Comments: 6