“Ugh. Why do you have to be attracted to the parts of my body that I’m self-conscious about? Why not… my shoulder. I like my shoulders. They’re good.” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”Charlie’s wife uses a kind of underwear as a signal for laundry-time.
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Some people like the cream; some the cookie. Some twist and make like an amorous beaver on the inside before making their mouth into a black hole that devours the Starship Cookie in a single bite. We’ve all got our methods and preferences for eating yummy stuff. Oreos, peanut butter cups, lollipops, milk duds, you [...]
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One of the big attractions for tourists coming to Los Angeles is decidedly the celebrity culture. I’ve been a personal assistant and I’ve been in the line of fire of those pesky, camera-wielding gnats known as paparazzi. I’ve seen it all, man. Today, I’m talking about celebrity-watching and how to go about it FOR REAL. [...]
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We’ve all (the royal WE) been there. Your kid is screaming bloody murder and they just seem like they need a little compassion, a gentle caress or a calm voice. Do we cave? Do we succumb to their emotional demands? Well, this father did and it proved to all of us doubters that sometimes things [...]
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“I’m wearing a thong. That’s how you know it’s time to do laundry.” -Avara – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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I have fur on my head and fuzz on my toes, Now I have bushes where nobody knows. One bush, two bushes, three bushes… more!?! What are these bushes that weren’t before? I have seen bushes here and there and everywhere; Around people’s houses and at the town fair. There are bushes on [...]
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Something amazing is about to happen. Two somethings! Two things that come together and create… way more than just two things. Two giveaways! The First Amazing Something The first thing is something new. A giveaway! Why is that new? Because it’s a FLASH contest! Meaning there’s not much time on this tick-tock-kaBOOM you better act [...]
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You pour soooooo much into your kids. I don’t mean food, but yeah, there is that. I mean your love, your sleep, your energy (what there is left of it), your sweat, your tears. As if by instinct, you don’t really do so with any expectation of anything in return. That isn’t to say that [...]
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“I going kill myself.” No sooner did it leave his lips than I pounced on his statement with a question. “Where did you hear that?” His little formative 3-year-old mind had already moved on to more fertile pastures, a grouping of Lego blocks for the moment. “Where did you hear that, Finn?” I didn’t want [...]
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Picture it. The little ones have finally stopped talking and moving and mess-making and… needing. They’re finally sleeping like the rocks you now feel like you’ve been bombarded with. But after the kid-valanche, things can seem startlingly slow. A little boring even. Don’t turn to a screen to chill out and wind down, though. BeDoodle [...]
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