How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife Just Raged… #96

Posted by on January 31st, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Ugh! My hatred for my phone right now outweighs my hatred of the Taliban!” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Comments: 8

What Your Pizza Toppings Can Say About You (Illustrated)

Posted by on January 28th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Science has proven that you aren’t actually “what you eat,” at least not literally. But what you do eat CAN say a lot about you. This is so true for pizza. Maybe pizza toppings won’t tell you who to marry or who to hire for your taxes, but that’s what Magic 8-Balls are for, right? […]

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Comments: 13

Unicorn Poop or How I Fell in Love with the Daughter I Never Had

Posted by on January 23rd, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

I’m not much of a “Guy” or “Man” in the senses used in the advice given in the movie Say Anything: “Don’t be a guy, be a man.” Whichever stereotype coloring book you’re using, most of my colors wind up outside the lines. But I do have a penis and three boys to prove it, […]

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Comments: 28

My Wife Just Said… #95

Posted by on January 22nd, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Just had a cup of piping hot tea with milk and gourmet honey. All is right as rain now. All the world needs is a nice cup of tea.” [sigh] -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Comments: 4

Tissues & Tampons

Posted by on January 16th, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

My entire family just went down with the flu at the same time. It was like a horror movie, one by one we fell. My wife was the last one standing. For a while, she even deluded herself that this would be one of those movies where one character gets out alive, to reflect on […]

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Getting an Evite for Sex

Posted by on January 11th, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

The start of my, shall we say, intimate relationship with my spouse was about as far from spontaneous as possible. When you’re in a long distance relationship and seeing your significant other requires plane tickets, you tend to plan. With a sense of humor and a holiday calendar, we scheduled our first time together for […]

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My Wife Just Said… #93

Posted by on January 10th, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Ohmygah… [cough] my fever’s so bad… feels like my boobs are hardboiled.” -Elizabeth   Mmm. Flu season was never this sexy. Or something. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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My Kid Just Said… #16

Posted by on January 8th, 2013, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

“If I twist my penis, I can fwy up in da sky.” -Lucas (3 years old)  Get to da choppah? My first response to this statement was… a lot of silence, followed by a lot of hrghnck (the strangled sound of poorly-restrained uncontrollable laughter). I was reminded of bits in cartoons where characters used their […]

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Comments: 28

Senior vs. Baby

Posted by on January 2nd, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

C’mon. It’s true. No disrespect to the elderly (or babies)! We’ve all got parents, or grandparents, that are old—except for Ryan Seacrest maybe, I’m still not convinced he’s human even if I can’t prove it. Don’t talk to me about his bellybutton, it was probably surgically added later. But I digress! Admittedly, being elderly has […]

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New Year’s Deep Thought

Posted by on January 1st, 2013, under NOTEBOOK

If you had a rough year, just remember: Tomorrow eats today and poops out yesterday. Thanks to everyone for making it less rough for us. Happy New Year! -Charlie & Andy  

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