How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Kid Just Said… #14

Posted by on December 27th, 2012, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

[Christmas morning] “Whu’s dat? A pwesent? Fo MEEE??? Whu’s in it?” [1 minute later] “I can’t open da wapping. It keeps wipping. Oh WOOK! TWAINS!!!” [.0001 seconds later] “I wead da ‘stwuctions and you buiwd it, okay, Daddy?” [100 minutes or so later] “It’s not wook wight, Daddy. Hewe ya go. You can have da […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 18

Pac-Man Christmas Wishes

Posted by on December 25th, 2012, under SNAPSHOTS

May your holidays be loaded with power pellets, bouncing fruit and joy…sticks? Nom nom nom, Charlie & Andy – Facebook Arcade Game? Imagine what a quarter-gobbling black hole Facebook would be if it were. Instructional Diagrams Learning, minus all the learning, but plus all the fun. 

VIEW POST
Comments: 4

My Wife Just Said… #91

Posted by on December 24th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I did one of those purchases. Where it turns out it’s the wrong thing but I just can’t bring myself to tell them so I buy it anyway. So yeah. It was a Christmas album. And yeah, I’ll be returning it later.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

VIEW POST
Comments: 1

Eagle Rides for Toddlers!?!

Posted by on December 19th, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Your pants and undies may be safe watching this, but you will crap in your soul for sure. (Reassuring spoiler: happy ending. Sorry about the spiritual poop mess part, though.) In the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, giant Eagles play majestic animals that swoop in to the rescue. Um… yeah… this is not […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 42

The Age Guessing Wheel of Misfortune

Posted by on December 17th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Generally speaking, women don’t tend to be hardcore fans of the word “old,” or even “older.” So, to play it safe, I’ll avoid using the words at all here. Also, my wife reads my posts and to be honest I hate being responsible for making her cry. I’m also pretty partial to my testicles remaining […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 45

Christmas Tree Decorating by Child Age

Posted by on December 12th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Our lives go through a lot of transformations when we have kids. Body, mind and soul. And home. And car. And bank account. You either know this already, or can easily imagine. In the beginning, Baby’s First Christmas can launch holiday excitement into the psychotisphere. “Extra efforts” aren’t made, “extreme measures” are taken. New parents […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 43

My Wife Just Said… #89

Posted by on December 10th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Oh! Quickscratchmyback! Left! Down! No UP! THERE!!! YES!!! Kill! Torture! Mame! Destroy! Ahhhhhhhhhh. Thanks.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

VIEW POST
Comments: 5

How to Raise a Hobbit

Posted by on December 6th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

I’ve written this brief How-To guide for my fellow fanatics, who have or plan to have kids, to raise their human children as hobbits. Why, you ask? I loved The Hobbit before I even read it. It was like I was born under the enchantment of its magical spell. Reading it in my teens only […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 6

My Wife Just Said… #88

Posted by on December 5th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Trying to explain to my son that Wham’s “Last Christmas” is technically Christmas music. He’s not buying it.” –Avara   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

VIEW POST
Comments: 15

15 Days of Christmas Junk! Day #3

Posted by on December 5th, 2012, under EQUIPMENT

If you have an item you think is rad, GO HERE and email us about it. A Flying F**K This post requires some delicate, smart language. Unfortunately, I had none to begin with. Sometimes, we have a crappy day. Or maybe you know someone whose crappy day should be taken less seriously. Well, be it […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 4