How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Bad Product Idea #10: Peter Pottymouth Proper Pronunciation Wheel

Posted by on July 31st, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Whether you chuckle or upchuck a little when your little one accidentally swears because of mispronunciation, it’s okay, sheet happens. Rest assured! It’s just part of learning to talk. But now, with the Peter Pottymouth Proper Pronunciation Wheel, you can put rocket boosters on the unfortunately foul-mouthed part of the learning process. Grandma’s poor heart […]

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Comments: 38

Everything Is Cuter When It’s a Baby

Posted by on July 26th, 2012, under SNAPSHOTS

Let’s put on a cutey pageant. The contestants will all be animals, competing against their baby selves. Not puppies and kittens though! Science is already working on harnessing the power of their cuteness as a renewable energy source, so it’s a foregone conclusion that they’re filthy stinking cute. We’ll look at more unsual animals for […]

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One Parent’s Trash Is Another Kid’s Treasure

Posted by on July 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Kids and adults differ on a lot of points. The way they each look at things can be so different that sometimes it defies logic that adults were ever kids themselves. At what point does a penny become just a lame fake-out for a dime when searching your pockets for something to feed a parking […]

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My Kid Just Said… #6

Posted by on July 24th, 2012, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

[Lucas (3yo) looking at a picture of himself] “Da’s Wucas!” Me: “No, you’re supposed to say ‘that’s me.’” [long pause accompanied by scrunchy nose of disapproval] “No, Daddy! It not yooOooOooOU! It WUCAS!” -Lucas  Dad, you sound like you think you know what you’re talking about, but I do not think that you do. I […]

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My Wife Just Said… #69

Posted by on July 24th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Yeah? Not if you ever want to see THIS again. Or touch these!” -Elizabeth   Before anyone gets all upitty on the topic of sextortion, bear in mind that this was a humorous statement that had the two of us in stitches, and also that it’s also a very effective form of motivation.   – […]

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You Know You’re Getting Old When…

Posted by on July 19th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

When I was a kid… wait. No no. Not like that. Not like, “When I was a kid I used to walk twelve miles to school carrying my lunch in a block of ice with shoes made of burlap sacks filled with broken glass and rusty nails.” Though I’ll write something that at some point, […]

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Toothpaste Applied by Parents & Children

Posted by on July 17th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Nearly anything in the bathroom is a potential victim to kid-level, wasteful application. I’m highlighting toothpaste here, but don’t forget soap, shampoo, toilet paper, band-aids, cotton swabs, water, you name it. Apart from these products appearing to children to be a never-ending supplies that are complete free, there’s also the fun of it. Look at […]

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The Bee Whisperer

Posted by on July 12th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Watching our toddler flit from flower to flower like a giddy garden gnome stalking the little flying honey-makers, Lizzie and I have exchanged many a stressed look and repeated, “Why bees? Why did it have to be bees!” Bees have been a wealth of lessons so far for Lucas (3yo). Lessons about nature, dependence, purpose, […]

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Teaching a Kid How to Tie Their Shoes

Posted by on July 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Teaching our kids how to do stuff is our job as parents. It can be difficult. Drinking our own urine can seem preferable at times. One of the hardest parts of teaching kids anything is watching them do it wrong. Over and over and over and over. Some parent’s cannot even do it; they swoop […]

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My Wife Just Swore… #67

Posted by on July 10th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Okay, ‘chilling out’ has happened for long enough. Now everyone can just f##k off.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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