My Wife Just Said… #57
“I know I can be… … persistent. Sometimes. But it comes from the heart!” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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Happy Birthday, Mom!
Today is my mother’s birthday. She has put up with a lot between raising me and my brother. I would love it if you left a comment wishing her a happy birthday, but also, tell her what your mother means to you. Then, if you feel like sharing this post around it will make me [...]
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50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 4 of 5)
WARNING: I’m back at it again. People still want to have sex and that’s not my fault. Kids wake up or the daily grind gets in the way. Don’t be mad at me because I’m offering sex advice or because I’m dumb. I had a school desk dropped on my head when I was [...]
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The Food Groups According to Kids
[ click the images to enlarge ] Children look at food and nutrition differently than adults. Sometimes they don’t even look at it, they just breath it in without even chewing. Some are picky and have roulette wheels for appetites. But whatever the case, the food groups look different in the eyes of a [...]
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Product Plight
Crap. Stuff. Things… Product. My boy Finn, a year ago during his pleasingly plump phase. We digest tons of marketing and advertising whole, like hankering hot dog eating contestants. Brands sell it all: how scary babies are to handle, how deadly life can be trekking outside with your kids and how VITAL they are to [...]
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My Wife Just Said… #56b
“So, when you post one of my quotes twice, do I get paid extra?” -Avara I accidentally posted today’s quote twice. The earlier one is here. The answer is no. No, honey, you do not. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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My Wife Just Said… #56
“How come when Finn farts, it’s cute, but when we do… it’s gross?” -Avara I MESSED UP. THIS IS A DUPLICATE. HERE’S MY WIFE’S RESPONSE. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”
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Solo Dadding
Half of my ass slips off the fake, butt-worn leather of a bench. I’m almost sideways. Finn works my arm, yanking it from its socket. My other appendage is attached by way of my palm stuck to my face. With eyes half-closed, I think that I’d love for the Arabic music in this Lebanese restaurant [...]
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The Breast Milk Baby Doll (NSFW?)
I love breastfeeding. I mean, not personally, but you know what I mean. Because I haven’t ever lactated or whatever. Personally. Anyway, the other day I found this kids’ doll called “The Breast Milk Baby.” Prepare for your mind to be blown, either minimally or maximally, depending on your personal parenting philosophy. It teaches your [...]
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I AM A TEXT-ACTIVATED ROBOT
If someone looked at my wife’s texts to me, they could easily look like a bunch of messages to a personal assistant. Knowing that these were back-and-forths between husband and wife, someone might say, “Yeeeeeah. There’s a loveless marriage, right there!” But it’s not loveless!!! It’s child-FULL. We’re parents. Sometimes parenthood has to roll up [...]
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