How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

My Wife Just Said… #57

Posted by on April 30th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I know I can be… … persistent. Sometimes. But it comes from the heart!” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Comments: 12

50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 4 of 5)

Posted by on April 26th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

  WARNING: I’m back at it again. People still want to have sex and that’s not my fault. Kids wake up or the daily grind gets in the way. Don’t be mad at me because I’m offering sex advice or because I’m dumb. I had a school desk dropped on my head when I was […]

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Comments: 24

The Food Groups According to Kids

Posted by on April 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the images to enlarge ]   Children look at food and nutrition differently than adults do. Sometimes they don’t even look at it, they just breath it in without even chewing. Some are picky and have roulette wheels for appetites. But whatever the case, the food groups look different in the eyes of […]

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Comments: 57

I AM A TEXT-ACTIVATED ROBOT

Posted by on April 18th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

If someone looked at my wife’s texts to me, they could easily look like a bunch of messages to a personal assistant. Knowing that these were back-and-forths between husband and wife, someone might say, “Yeeeeeah. There’s a loveless marriage, right there!” But it’s not loveless!!! It’s child-FULL. We’re parents. Sometimes parenthood has to roll up […]

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Comments: 36

My Wife Just Said… #55

Posted by on April 17th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Sometimes I just don’t get them [the kids] like you do. I’m a grown woman, but… you’re part kid.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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Baby Teeth & Other Ferocious Fangs

Posted by on April 16th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] New baby teeth are such a fake out. As a parent, you suffer so much for those little things to come in, so when they do, you almost want to do backflips, build a bonfire and set off fireworks. Maybe we’re talking about me at this point, but […]

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Comments: 35

Jedi Baby

Posted by on April 13th, 2012, under SNAPSHOTS

When I was a kid, I knew this wise old man who was very into mystical Eastern philosophy. I didn’t really have a clue what that even meant beyond the little education I’d received from TV shows and movies. Which should basically tell you I wasn’t just dumb as a rock on the subject, I […]

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Comments: 29

The Black Hole Zone of Cribs, Car Seats & Stollers

Posted by on April 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Before you have kids, it doesn’t seem possible you could lose much in a crib, car seat or stroller. They’re just a frame with bars and a frilly mattress, a cushioned bucket with a test-pilot’s buckling system and an over-sized folding chair on wheels covered by fabric. None […]

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Comments: 46

WOMEN’S EDITION! 50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 3 of 5)

Posted by on April 5th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

  WARNING: Don’t be mad at me. I was told by very persistent sex-deprived women to post this for them! Women also need to drop a clue to their men that they’re in the mood for love. The washing machine set to a feverish spin cycle can only see a girl so far, and can […]

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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Scissor Kiss

Posted by on April 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Ninjas have long known that the skill of being able to kill someone with one arm tied behind their back was a worthy achievement. For parents, this level of skill can become useful in the task of keeping someone ALIVE with an arm tied behind your back. Most people don’t realize that the ancient art […]

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Comments: 36