How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

The End?

Posted by on March 29th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Dear Readers of, You may be asking yourselves, isn’t this Why is it now entitled Well, I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I have to tell you that my husband, Charlie, and his friend, Andy Herald, are currently not on speaking terms. I know this may come as […]

Comments: 151

The Toy Salesman (VIDEO)

Posted by on March 29th, 2012, under VIDEOTAPE

Try as parents might to get their kids on board for all kinds of stuff, our kids still rebel. Try these brussel sprouts, you’ll love them! Let’s go to the dentist! It’s fun! C’mon, change your own diaper! Hygiene is cool! But it’s not just the lame stuff we’re supposed to get them to do. […]

Comments: 15

Baby Fingernails & Other Deadly Edged Weapons

Posted by on March 28th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Baby fingernails are so sharp they make razor blades seem like warm gummy bears in comparison. If you’ve got kids, you’ve probably experienced the sudden sizzling pain of your baby’s nails accidentally giving you inexpert plastic surgery. You’ve probably heard this phrase before, “Ooooo. What happened to your […]

Comments: 107

My Wife Just Said… #52

Posted by on March 27th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Just realized Hogwarts is the only boarding school I’ll ever let my son attend.” -Avara – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

Comments: 23

I Admit It

Posted by on March 26th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

To say parenting isn’t easy is to describe cleaning up elephant dung as “slightly aerobic.” The hefty number of tasks we face on our To-Don’t list is a bit staggering but combined with the politics we navigate just being in a relationship (or as/more challenging, single parenting), it’s incredible that we don’t routinely fail more […]

Comments: 39

Fatherhood Fridays #11: Cry It Out

Posted by on March 23rd, 2012, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

There’s a lot of talk about whether or not it’s cool to let your baby “cry it out.” I’m not going to walk onto that mine field today (maybe another day when I’ve had a couple more hours of sleep and 10x the glasses of liquid courage). Instead, let’s talk about adults crying it out. […]

Comments: 40

5 Reasons Why I Would KILL in the Hunger Games

Posted by on March 22nd, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

Please don’t touch me, Caesar Flickerman. Your hair scares the sh*t out of me. Let’s be honest, I would be the perfect Tribute (AKA contestant) in a real-life Hunger Games. I know. This is “How To Be A Dad” and not “How To Be a Teenage Homicidal Maniac”, but I have to tell you: I […]

Comments: 48

Bad Product Idea #8: Kid Freshener

Posted by on March 21st, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies smell like fairies and edible flowers. Show me the person who figures out how to bottle the magical spell of baby-scent and I’ll show you someone who will soon be rich enough to buy an island, just to store fan mail. It’s like your nose died and went to heaven. Unfortunately, just like a […]

Comments: 37

My Wife Just Said… #51

Posted by on March 20th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“What did you do to make me worry, you ask? You don’t need to do anything, my head does it all for you.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

Comments: 13

50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 2 of 5)

Posted by on March 19th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

  WARNING: The suggestions in this series are not recommended for couples with any special medical conditions or for anyone without a sense of humor. Please also note that if you try any of these, in addition to encouraging sex, it may also result in the end of your relationship, marriage or life. Here we […]

Comments: 47