How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Baby Fingernails & Other Deadly Edged Weapons

Posted by on March 28th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Baby fingernails are so sharp they make razor blades seem like warm gummy bears in comparison. If you’ve got kids, you’ve probably experienced the sudden sizzling pain of your baby’s nails accidentally giving you inexpert plastic surgery. You’ve probably heard this phrase before, “Ooooo. What happened to your […]

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Bad Product Idea #8: Kid Freshener

Posted by on March 21st, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies smell like fairies and edible flowers. Show me the person who figures out how to bottle the magical spell of baby-scent and I’ll show you someone who will soon be rich enough to buy an island, just to store fan mail. It’s like your nose died and went to heaven. Unfortunately, just like a […]

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My Wife Just Said… #51

Posted by on March 20th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“What did you do to make me worry, you ask? You don’t need to do anything, my head does it all for you.” -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 2 of 5)

Posted by on March 19th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

  WARNING: The suggestions in this series are not recommended for couples with any special medical conditions or for anyone without a sense of humor. Please also note that if you try any of these, in addition to encouraging sex, it may also result in the end of your relationship, marriage or life. Here we […]

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Comments: 47

When your kid discovers you… uhhh

Posted by on March 16th, 2012, under SNAPSHOTS

When you’re making love it’s like you’re soaring through the sky on the wings of passion. But when your little one opens the door on your passionate flight, in about .00372 seconds, it’s like all the air has been sucked out of the room and you’ve made an emergency nosedive into a solid glacier. If […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Pillow Fort”

Posted by on March 15th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Early along in the amazing magical spell I like to call my marriage to Lizzie, I walked into our bedroom and my eyes went very wide, like O_O type of wide, to take in all the horror at once, as if ripping a band-aid off my mind. So it might hurt less. My lovely wife […]

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Baby Ninja

Posted by on March 9th, 2012, under SNAPSHOTS

Ninjas aren’t born ninjas, that’s true… Or is it? Think about it. Babies are apparently born with various ninja characteristics. How many times have you muttered to yourself, totally mystified, “How the heck?” as you pulled something out of your little one’s hand that could not possibly have been reached? Or let out a yelp […]

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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Ankle Claw

Posted by on March 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

“Huh?” you say? Yes, that is indeed a wise question. I will explain. If you wished to become good at something—great at something—like parenting, wouldn’t you want to know what a ninja had to say about it? They weren’t just born ninjas! They became masters of disciplined study and training long before they even got […]

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Comments: 37

My Wife Just Texted… #49

Posted by on March 7th, 2012, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Texted ] “So you still love me with my saggier boobies? Too bad they don’t have a saggy boobs emoticon. he he 😕 “ -Elizabeth   – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

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50 Ways to Nudge Your Lover (Part 1 of 5)

Posted by on March 5th, 2012, under NOTEBOOK

  WARNING: Some of this is naughty and crude — but along with being romantic and amazing, sex can be naughty and crude. If you doubt that, have your lover hold a mirror up so you can see your own face the next time you have an orgasm. So, please don’t get all faint-of-heart or […]

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Comments: 96