How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Stop Lying to your Kids about the Holidays

Posted by on December 16th, 2011, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

It’s a tough call for some parents… Which holidays stories do we tell our kids? Yikes. Whatever you do, make sure you’re very clear about your plan of attack and its storyline. A poorly assembled sentence here… A word they don’t understand there… and the result is major miscommunication about the characters and the tales […]

Comments: 63

Christmas Tree… Dog???

Posted by on December 15th, 2011, under SNAPSHOTS

You can do something so right… that it becomes wrong. Right? But maybe it’s not wrong. Hmmmmm. People can go crazy on the holidays. Christmas trees so tall that they bend over under a ceiling, like Shaquille O’Neal in a VW. And maybe there are some menorahs around with so much chutzpah that they can […]

Comments: 6

My Wife Just Said… #39

Posted by on December 14th, 2011, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Baby sick] “I think one of his plugged up nostrils finally cleared up, he’s nursing like MAD now! I’m so glad, my boobs are ready to explode!” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

Comments: 18

Baby Sleep Positions: “The Neck Scarf”

Posted by on December 13th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  When the cold weather hits us parents—b-r-r-r-r-r!—what better way to stay warm in the chill of night than, uhhhhh… to wrap your head and neck in the warmth and comfort of… your baby? Yeah, no one’s buying it, we know. But, hey, it happens. Whether we want it to or not. Maybe your sleeping […]

Comments: 37

Sounding Boards

Posted by on December 12th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

Dear Leaf-Blower Guy, Loud Motorcycle Douche & the rest of your compatriots, There’s nothing I love more than the soothing sounds of your noise pollution. Well, obnoxious drunk scream-giggle-girls are a close second. But, to quote Scrooged, “for the love of God and your own personal safety” knock it the hell off. You wake up […]

Comments: 36

0 to Baby in Sixty Seconds

Posted by on December 9th, 2011, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

(News from Don Rob.) I’ve heard some moms-to-be say they wish their pregnancy would “last forever,” they love it so much. Which is a touching, yet alarming statement, especially if you happen to the be the father. Eh-hem. Some women are in the NSM camp. Not so much. They’d pay in limbs to fast-forward through […]

Comments: 20


Posted by on December 8th, 2011, under SNAPSHOTS

Photo by: Daughter of the Sun Um, so… We don’t know exactly what’s going on here, but we’re pretty sure it involves breastfeeding. And that it’s all natural. Maybe too natural? Or something. Sorry, I was looking at the photo again. Um… Anyway, we didn’t put a punchline or caption specifically so you could come […]

Comments: 595

My Wife Just Said… #38

Posted by on December 7th, 2011, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Oh, suburbia. You look so inviting and nice on the outside. -Avara  

Comments: 3

New Hazard Signs for Parents

Posted by on December 6th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Anything in life is dangerous. Parenting is no exception, in fact, it’s more like a lens that magnifies danger by a factor of a bazillion. For those of you not familiar with the numeric value of a “bazillion,” just know that it’s about three quarters of a double infinity. Don’t worry! We’re not trying to […]

Comments: 29

Mad Science, Potions and Cat Food

Posted by on December 5th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

My son, Lucas, recently reminded me of something from my own childhood. Though oddly, something has happened to a lot of these memories of being a kid since having kids. The perspective of parenthood can shed a really different, very bright light on memories. My parents gave me a very free hand as a kid. […]

Comments: 22