How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Schmoopy McNicknamerson

Posted by on December 29th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

It’s probably not a good idea. Eh. BUT I HAVE TO DO IT! I’ll tell you my crime if you promise to hear my shameless excuse. Deal? Deal! Here it is. I am a bit of a cheesy, silly nickname-oholic. Especially with my kids. There! I said it. “My dad calls it ‘treating me like […]

Comments: 108

My *KID* Just Said…

Posted by on December 28th, 2011, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

[After losing a game] “Winning is for losers.” -Cody (2008, 10 years old)  Both our little ones are beginning to talk, frying our brains and melting our hearts, and my two older boys (Cody and Max) have been doing the same for well over a decade now. So! We’re launching a new category based on […]

Comments: 12

The Ways a Toy Can Suck for a Parent

Posted by on December 27th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Now that most of us have made it through the gift-buying bonanza of the holidays, you might be saying to me, “Gee thanks! You could’ve posted this BEFORE my holiday shoppageddon!” To which my reply would be, “Hey! I was busy buying toys that I’ll regret or suffer through, too!!!” Plus, even if I had […]

Comments: 40

Santa Claus vs. Pregnant Woman

Posted by on December 21st, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] In our Versus series, normally we’re all about pointing out the striking similarities between a baby and unusual figures like a zombie, Godzilla, a redneck, etc. But today we’re taking a look earlier, before a baby is even born. A pregnant woman. And Santa Claus. We know […]

Comments: 56

Dreams Are Boring To Everyone But Yourself

Posted by on December 19th, 2011, under NOTEBOOK

After the little one is silent, when the caffeine has worn off, sleep finally shows up fashionably late to the party. Sometimes it brings dreams along with it, and when it’s feeling particularly rowdy, it’ll invite along a nightmare. I had a terrible one last night. I won’t bore you with the full details, because […]

Comments: 8

Christmas Tree… Dog???

Posted by on December 15th, 2011, under SNAPSHOTS

You can do something so right… that it becomes wrong. Right? But maybe it’s not wrong. Hmmmmm. People can go crazy on the holidays. Christmas trees so tall that they bend over under a ceiling, like Shaquille O’Neal in a VW. And maybe there are some menorahs around with so much chutzpah that they can […]

Comments: 6

My Wife Just Said… #39

Posted by on December 14th, 2011, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[Baby sick] “I think one of his plugged up nostrils finally cleared up, he’s nursing like MAD now! I’m so glad, my boobs are ready to explode!” -Elizabeth – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” 

Comments: 18

Baby Sleep Positions: “The Neck Scarf”

Posted by on December 13th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  When the cold weather hits us parents—b-r-r-r-r-r!—what better way to stay warm in the chill of night than, uhhhhh… to wrap your head and neck in the warmth and comfort of… your baby? Yeah, no one’s buying it, we know. But, hey, it happens. Whether we want it to or not. Maybe your sleeping […]

Comments: 37

0 to Baby in Sixty Seconds

Posted by on December 9th, 2011, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

(News from Don Rob.) I’ve heard some moms-to-be say they wish their pregnancy would “last forever,” they love it so much. Which is a touching, yet alarming statement, especially if you happen to the be the father. Eh-hem. Some women are in the NSM camp. Not so much. They’d pay in limbs to fast-forward through […]

Comments: 20


Posted by on December 8th, 2011, under SNAPSHOTS

Photo by: Daughter of the Sun Um, so… We don’t know exactly what’s going on here, but we’re pretty sure it involves breastfeeding. And that it’s all natural. Maybe too natural? Or something. Sorry, I was looking at the photo again. Um… Anyway, we didn’t put a punchline or caption specifically so you could come […]

Comments: 595