SNAPSHOTS
Pretty self explanatory, no? These are pictures. If you want us to draw you something explaining what this means, go ahead and write us an email.
Baby Ninja
Ninjas aren’t born ninjas, that’s true… Or is it? Think about it. Babies are apparently born with various ninja characteristics.
How many times have you muttered to yourself, totally mystified, “How the heck?” as you pulled something out of your little one’s hand that could not possibly have been reached? Or let out a yelp as you discover your kid right behind you when just a second ago he/she was in front of you? Ninjas!
The point is, not that there really needs to be one… It’s much easier to care for babies and raise kids when you allow yourself to accept the reality that they are all ninjas. It’s only when we grow up that we forget what we once were. Until we remember to remind ourself not to forget to recall that we were once ninjas ourselves.
Have a great weekend, HTBADers!
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Baby Ninjas Follow Us on Facebook
…but you can’t see them. Even their Likes are invisible.
Instructional Diagrams
What these lack in ninja skills, they more than make up for with humor.
Elmo… Can He Be Trusted?
Maybe if you play “La la la la! This is the song!” backwards, you’ll hear some sinister secret message. Maybe not. For some, it’s sinister all by itself, played normally. Whatever your feelings about Elmo are, you have to admit he looks pretty creepy here. Which funny enough raises a legitimate question…
Who are you comfortable with watching your kids? No, seriously. Everyone parent goes through this, who they’re okay with watching their kids and who will never even come near the list of potential date-night facilitators.
Everyone has relatives and friends they well know and love, but wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving alone with their kid for longer than it takes to make a marshmallow explode in a microwave (about 30-40 seconds by the way).
So we make our lists, ruthlessly cutting people as options, maybe even fighting between ourselves.
“Why not Terry, you ask? I’ll tell you why not. She does that weird thing with her son where she hugs him for five minutes and gets mad if he doesn’t thank her when it’s over.”
“What about Billy, the Jenkins’ kid? Oh wait no. I just remebered, I heard from his mom that there was an incident with a lighter and a can of hairspray.”
“Sally? No way! Last time she was over she arrived smelling like jello shots!”
It’s a process. And every parent’s gotta go through it. Who can be trusted?
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Our Facebook Page Can Be Trusted
Ahahahaha! Okay, no it can’t. But Like it anyway.
More LOL Pics?
I can has LOLz.
Top 2 Reasons You Don’t Have Nice Things Anymore…
Years ago I bought a leather executive chair that was blonde-colored. Within a week, Cody (at age 6!) wrote Xuck on it (he missed the top line in the F). He used permanent marker and scrawled it in large letters on the broad expanse of the chair’s back. Amid feeling super bummed and being totally confused about how he could have even known that word, let alone write it, when it was never said around him and he could only just barely spell his own name, a small part of me was proud. A VERY small part of me.
You see, it’s not just that your “nice things” get ruined. Yes, that’s the biggest factor, but it’s also the nice things you DON’T buy any more as a sort of preemptive defense tactic against the “fun-spiritedness and creativity” of a kid or the “natural instincts” of a pet that basically amount to the systematic destruction of everything you possess.
Here’s an example. My wife and I are out shopping. I say, “Hmmmmmm-no. Let’s get the cheaper one.” She reassures me we can afford the better, more expensive one, no problem. I turn to her and say intensely, “Look. I will not be able to withstand discovering a peanut butter and jelly sandwich crammed into this really nice DVD player. Let’s get the cheaper one.” We got the cheaper one.
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Our Facebook Page Is Kid-Proof
They can mess up your account if you leave your computer unattended, but you can Like our Facebook page, it’s kid-proof.
Instructional Diagrams
We’ve lost count of how many beverage nasal sprays and woken up babies all the laughter at these has caused.
The @pocalypse Has Arrived
The apocalypse is here. Right now! While you’re reading this, this very second. It’s happening… #happeningrightnow
Probably everyone reading this grew up with TV. And probably had a “whaaaaaaatever” response to the phrase “it’ll rot your brain.” I did. And my brain is not rotten. At least let’s pretend it isn’t for argument’s sake. Anyways… I’ve stood in parks with 9 out 10 people glued to the glow of their smartphones, and everyday I order my coffee in cafes filled with people who aren’t talking to each other, but are, ironically, each probably communicating through the Internet to a tremendous number of people all over the country and planet. I’ve seen the top ten videos on YouTube and thought, “Wow! Now THAT will rot your brain.” I’m even writing this on a laptop with an iPod plugged in for file transport, a trackball (cuz that’s how I roll, har har), a set of earbuds connecting me to my iPhone, its music and all of its blooped notifications. Pure brain rottage, I admit.
The future is now! But this now-future is kind of scary, even as “plugged in” as I am. To see a kid throw a tantrum over not being allow to play with a computing tablet while an ice cream cone melts next to them unattended, unlicked… I think, “WTF? Seriously!?! Gimme that ice cream before it’s ruined you, tiny soulless android!” I try to keep my kids from becoming small-to-moderately-large soulless androids everyday. It’s hard! It’s an uphill battle, but I try.
So, just so you know, the @pocalypse has arrived. Do what you can. The world is coming to an end. #apocalypse
-Andy
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Since the World Is Ending
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