SNAPSHOTS
Pretty self explanatory, no? These are pictures. If you want us to draw you something explaining what this means, go ahead and write us an email.
Top 2 Reasons You Don’t Have Nice Things Anymore…
Years ago I bought a leather executive chair that was blonde-colored. Within a week, Cody (at age 6!) wrote Xuck on it (he missed the top line in the F). He used permanent marker and scrawled it in large letters on the broad expanse of the chair’s back. Amid feeling super bummed and being totally confused about how he could have even known that word, let alone write it, when it was never said around him and he could only just barely spell his own name, a small part of me was proud. A VERY small part of me.
You see, it’s not just that your “nice things” get ruined. Yes, that’s the biggest factor, but it’s also the nice things you DON’T buy any more as a sort of preemptive defense tactic against the “fun-spiritedness and creativity” of a kid or the “natural instincts” of a pet that basically amount to the systematic destruction of everything you possess.
Here’s an example. My wife and I are out shopping. I say, “Hmmmmmm-no. Let’s get the cheaper one.” She reassures me we can afford the better, more expensive one, no problem. I turn to her and say intensely, “Look. I will not be able to withstand discovering a peanut butter and jelly sandwich crammed into this really nice DVD player. Let’s get the cheaper one.” We got the cheaper one.
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Our Facebook Page Is Kid-Proof
They can mess up your account if you leave your computer unattended, but you can Like our Facebook page, it’s kid-proof.
Instructional Diagrams
We’ve lost count of how many beverage nasal sprays and woken up babies all the laughter at these has caused.
The @pocalypse Has Arrived
The apocalypse is here. Right now! While you’re reading this, this very second. It’s happening… #happeningrightnow
Probably everyone reading this grew up with TV. And probably had a “whaaaaaaatever” response to the phrase “it’ll rot your brain.” I did. And my brain is not rotten. At least let’s pretend it isn’t for argument’s sake. Anyways… I’ve stood in parks with 9 out 10 people glued to the glow of their smartphones, and everyday I order my coffee in cafes filled with people who aren’t talking to each other, but are, ironically, each probably communicating through the Internet to a tremendous number of people all over the country and planet. I’ve seen the top ten videos on YouTube and thought, “Wow! Now THAT will rot your brain.” I’m even writing this on a laptop with an iPod plugged in for file transport, a trackball (cuz that’s how I roll, har har), a set of earbuds connecting me to my iPhone, its music and all of its blooped notifications. Pure brain rottage, I admit.
The future is now! But this now-future is kind of scary, even as “plugged in” as I am. To see a kid throw a tantrum over not being allow to play with a computing tablet while an ice cream cone melts next to them unattended, unlicked… I think, “WTF? Seriously!?! Gimme that ice cream before it’s ruined you, tiny soulless android!” I try to keep my kids from becoming small-to-moderately-large soulless androids everyday. It’s hard! It’s an uphill battle, but I try.
So, just so you know, the @pocalypse has arrived. Do what you can. The world is coming to an end. #apocalypse
-Andy
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Since the World Is Ending
You should follow us on Facebook. Why not?
You are mother. We hear you roar.
With a world driven by image and perfection and unattainable Photoshopped standards of beauty, it’s uncomfortable for us to imagine the magnitude of what a woman may feel she had to “sacrifice” by “ruining her body” in order to have a baby. The statement in this picture offers a different way to think about it though.
Tigers are beautiful.
We recently posted this on our Facebook Page and the reaction was so positive we had to share it on our website as well. Though our Facebook page has a rad community and is the best way to follow us, we also know our website gets so many more visitors and this message just needed to be seen far and wide. We’re honored to share and be a part of this message of impassioned encouragement, recognizing mothers and the beauty of motherhood. Whoever originally conceived this brilliant message, we thank you!
With or without stripes, mothers are tigers. And tigers are beautiful.
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Follow Us on Facebook
9 out of 10 tigers say it’s the best way to stay connected to us.
“Instructional” Sounds So Boring
But these Instructional Diagrams are the opposite of boring.
Breastfeeding: Suck It
There has been a lot of controversy around breastfeeding lately.
Retail stores have told people they couldn’t do it within their walls. Formula companies implied that formula was a better route. It’s like breastfeeding is being silently marketed as obscene or something.
With all the swirling hatred on the topic, I thought my son and I should share our thoughts…
BREASTFEEDING:
GOT A PROBLEM? SUCK IT.
For those who have trouble producing milk or choose not to breastfeed, this isn’t directed at you. This is for the idiots who have a “problem” with breastfeeding and get all bent out of shape about something that women have been doing for eons.
I thought this photo of my wife and son would be most appropriate for you ridiculous few. Enjoy.
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Follow Us on Facebook
Liking our Facebook Page is the best way to stay connected.
Need more boobie posts?
Then, you’ll like this link a whole lot.
INFOGRAPHIC HELP
Because you’re not getting any stupider about parenting, unless you look at those.
