How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Said… #146

Posted by on February 3rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I think Mother Nature was really pissed off the day she created cilantro, because that stuff tastes like s**t.” -Avara   I enjoy cilantro. My wife does not. These are the trials that test a marriage. You’re charged with keeping the details of your partner’s tastes, habits and desires in your head at all times. Or […]

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My Wife Just Said… #145

Posted by on January 27th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I always find it odd when I look over at a fully-equipped stroller only to find there’s a dog in it.” -Elizabeth   My wife majored in marine biology and used to work at a place that did a bunch of animal rescue and placement, so I’d put her somewhere between animal lover and animal […]

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My Wife Just Said… #144

Posted by on January 22nd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Arden’s umbilical cord finally fell off this morning at 4am (sleep is highly overrated). Feeling strangely emotional about it, but excited for the many soothing baths to come!” -Avara   There are certain milestones that mark the passage of time in a family’s life. Sure, they may smell a bit cheesy, but with an equally cheesy […]

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My Wife Just Said… #143

Posted by on January 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I do not have too much stuff in my purse. I just need a bigger purse.” -Elizabeth   I tilted my head at that one. Then I scratched it. Then I shook it in amazement. She had a good point. I guess. Since becoming a mom, her purses and bags have gotten bigger and bigger […]

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My Wife Just Said… #142

Posted by on January 6th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I know this is crazy, but I actually got sad thinking no more babies after Arden.” -Avara   After all the emotional moments, harrowing childbirth and now the unending sleeplessness, my wife confesses the incredible irony of life and perhaps a secret of our existence. We want to live on and grow, even if that means […]

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My Wife Just Said… #141

Posted by on January 2nd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“My hands are fah-reeeeezing! Oh wow. Your balls are so warm!!! Don’t jump away! Oh please let me warm my hands on your balls?” -Elizabeth   Um. Okay so yeah… WOW! That’ll take you from tired to light-speed wakefulness like nothing else! Even if you’re in a coma. Or dead. Notes to self: 1) never […]

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My Wife Just Said… #140

Posted by on December 23rd, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“At least your coworkers aren’t yelling at you and chewing off your nipples.” -Avara   I went back to work briefly before our holiday break only two days after Avara had the baby. It was really hard to leave just for those few hours and I texted her to check in. She asked how I was […]

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My Wife Just Said… #139

Posted by on December 19th, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“What am I making for dinner tonight? Reservations.” -Elizabeth   When a single day feels like a week, it’s like you’ve practically earned the right to not cook six times over, right? In these cases, it’s really just best for everyone’s health if the chef’s special for dinner is takeout or reservations at a restaurant. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #138

Posted by on December 9th, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“There’s a brand new baby here at the doctor’s office and I started crying looking at him. Can you say SO PREGNANT?” -Avara   Again, what’s my excuse? I’m falling into the same trap I did last time of not sleeping enough before our baby came. Working too hard. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…”    […]

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My Wife Just Said… #137

Posted by on December 3rd, 2013, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“You’re going to let me buy that cheesy, light-up lawn decoration because you love me. And because the lad loves it.” -Elizabeth   Double whammy. Love can be a very powerful bargaining chip. But the crappiness of some holiday decorations can overwhelm even the most passionate hearts. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” What bowling […]

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