How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Said… #326

Posted by on August 7th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Sometimes we put off things, kidding ourselves that they won’t be so bad when we do them later. HAH! I’m not sure how we fool ourselves into these utter interplanetary flights of fancy. Maybe it’s that our distaste for a task is so extreme that it gives us the delusion-fuel we need to con ourselves […]

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My Wife Just Shouted… #325

Posted by on July 24th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

We all want our kids to be themselves. Until “being themselves” is them hollering down grocery aisles with a baguette lightsaber and their shirt wrapped around their head. Kids can come up with some pretty record-scratchy, startling comebacks that leave us parents speechless; either because they’re so spot on, it’s hard to counter their really […]

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My Wife Just Said… #324

Posted by on July 10th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

It’s not like we don’t loooooove love love our kids. But kids are proof positive you can have too much of a good thing. After a long day of doing all of the things, non-stop, there’s a point where your kid being removed from the mix couldn’t come soon enough. Sometimes this point occurs when […]

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My Wife Just Said… #323

Posted by on July 3rd, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Listen, we’ve been through this before. Threenagers. They’re brutal. Everything that’s hard about raising teenagers compacted into tiny, uncoordinated little bodies bent on hurting themselves. To complicate things, our son is somewhat speech delayed. When he gets angsty, things break down quickly. It’s not easy to navigate. Sometimes we just have to take things day […]

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My Wife Just Said… #322

Posted by on June 26th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

After my wife said this – well, after I was done laughing – I told her she just might have happened upon a billion dollar idea, there. Those Kidz Bop albums (with little kids singing covers of pop music) seem to sell like hot cakes, and I’m pretty sure if there was a “Fart Bop” […]

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My Wife Just Said… #321

Posted by on June 19th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

When you’re a parent, sometimes milestones come in the form of poop, smiling, throwing up and even your kid’s choice of underwear. Finn has always had the coolest clothes. We wears stuff I wish they had in adult sizes. So when he said he was “done with character underwear” — that one hurt. I mean, […]

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My Wife Just Lost It… #320

Posted by on June 12th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

In the fevered rush to get ready for summer break, sometimes you have a bit of an emotional break. Getting schooling and homework all done, projects, rehearsals for the end of school show, plus every other goddam thing in the life of a child wrangler, it can get to you. Everyone has their breaking point, […]

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My Wife Just Said… #319

Posted by on June 5th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. Our three-year-old pushes our seven-year-olds buttons constantly. That wears on us, the tiredest parents, and then we in turn get set off. Does anyone have any advice on how to teach two boys, with very different personalities, to love and respect each other? It’s reached levels that […]

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My Wife Just Asked… #318

Posted by on May 29th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

When you become a parent, your physical appearance can become a ridiculously low priority. Looking “good” is an expendable commodity we can trade for the precious few minutes we save ignoring it. This is especially true for moms and dads who are the primary caretaker of a youngling. Dressing up? Hah! Hilarious. A nice outfit? […]

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My Wife Just Said… #317

Posted by on May 22nd, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

We’ve been hearing about the Hamilton musical for a while but once my wife and eldest son, Finn, saw the play in New York back in January, it hasn’t been turned off in our house. Sure, there are some intense themes and curse words, but there’s so much my son loves about the play. He […]

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