How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Said… #174

Posted by on August 18th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Is it strange that I’m already planning my kid’s first concert experience?” -Avara   I grew up in a household that played music too loud and too much. Just kidding. That’s not possible. Sort of. Anyway, Avara and I love music a great deal. We rarely find a difference of opinion about the same song. It’s […]

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My Wife just Said… #173

Posted by on August 11th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Your laptop is so filthy, you look homeless… except for the fact that homeless people don’t usually have laptops.” -Elizabeth   I fully admit it. It’s kinda true. Sure, I’ve got screen cleaner and wipes and a great joke about how my laptop is a “hipster,” but… still. I’d invest heavily in a company that […]

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My Wife Just Said… #172

Posted by on August 4th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Up boiling nipples at midnight. What you doing?” -Avara   Parenting is full of thankless tasks. So many little things HAVE to be done every day, and to do otherwise means you eat a healthy plate of OHMYGODIAMTHEWORSTPARENT soup. Some stuff gets thrown in the trash, the unimportant stuff and all the packaging around parenthood. If […]

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My Wife just Said… #171

Posted by on July 29th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Okay. Honey! The toilet and I just became best friends. Let’s take it easy on the romance.” -Elizabeth   The flower of romance can bloom suddenly in the rays of spontaneity. Or it can hit a very firmly closed bathroom door. There’s a time and place for everything, and sometimes “the mood” needs to take […]

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My Wife Just Said… #170

Posted by on July 21st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Out at dinner. Arden’s having the special.” -Avara   It’s as if my baby boy knows exactly what to do when someone looks at him or takes a picture. He burns so brightly from inside. Lit from within. And shines through the eyes. A while back I wondered how different Arden would be from Finn. It’s […]

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My Wife just Said… #169

Posted by on July 14th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Hey, you wanna? [Winks] I’ve been doing lots of Kegels. So I can be like a ninja down there. Not like grab arrows out of the air…” -Elizabeth   I didn’t know whether to feel afraid or aroused, but in any case it’s clear some ninja skills are sexier than others. – Previous “My Wife […]

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My Wife Just Said… #168

Posted by on July 7th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“That moment when you start humming a song while getting your toddler dressed when he asks what song it is, you realize it’s ‘Push It’ by Salt-n-Pepa and say, ‘Sorry honey, I don’t remember the name.’ Yeah, that just happened.” -Avara   We don’t shield our kids from every little thing but there are certain realizations […]

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My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167

Posted by on July 1st, 2014, under "MY KID JUST SAID...", "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.”   Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???”   Wife: “There’s a… hole.”   Son: “In you butt?”   Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.”   Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]

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My Wife Just Said… #166

Posted by on June 23rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Looks like Arden took a dip in my gene pool. #littleoldmanbaby” -Avara   The question of where a child’s looks come from is a big one for parents-to-be. After Finn was born, people said he looked like me. I assumed he might look like one of us. I mean hopefully, right? But when we learned we […]

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My Wife Just Texted??? #165

Posted by on June 16th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

There are the occasional times when we leave our phones unattended and unlocked. I’m not referring to myself here, since people have joked that my iPhone and earbuds are part of my body’s anatomy, but for other people it happens from time to time. Of those times, mischievous people sometimes get a hold of them. […]

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