How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Said… #290

Posted by on November 7th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My Wife: Charlie, I still have a headache. Can you please rub my shoulders a little bit? Me: Sure, just let me put my Apple Watch back on to track the calories I’ll burn. My Wife: … 😑 So, we went on a crazy death march this weekend. You could call it a hike. I […]

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My Wife Just Said to Herself… #289

Posted by on October 31st, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

When your wife says something that makes little to negative-eleven sense, a husband would probably do well to simple nod and say, “Ah.” I however made the mistake chose to join in the conversation. She’d said something random about an Amazon order, I think. My bad for thinking she was talking to me, whatever was […]

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My Wife Just Said… #288

Posted by on October 24th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My older son Finn was sitting in the backseat with his mama while his brother Arden sandwiched her on the other side. If you’ve ever had two carseats on opposite sites, you know that riding in the middle is one of Dante’s levels of hell. Finn’s godmother was sitting in the front passenger seat while […]

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My Wife Just Said… #287

Posted by on October 19th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

It really doesn’t seem to make too much sense when you get to Saturday afternoon and you feel like screaming, “Have fun dammit!” Especially if you’re saying it to yourself. Whipping yourself up into a psychotic froth in order to do fun or relaxing things is maybe just an eensy weeny bit counterintuitive, no? A […]

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My Wife Just Said… #286

Posted by on October 10th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

As soon as she left, I regretted it. Ha! “Come back,” I wrote her. I’d changed my mind. As soon as the boys fought over the cap to a shampoo bottle in the tub, I wanted to be whisked away to the cold foods section. I wanted to feel the cold breeze of the freezer […]

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My Wife Just Said… #285

Posted by on October 5th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Perhaps there are couples that complete each other’s sentences. Perhaps some pull jinxes all the time; saying the same things or answer the same way, together. Perhaps they put on the same song simultaneously or some such seemingly magical, psychic connection. There certainly are couples who know each other’s idiosyncrasies, preferences and personalities so well […]

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My Wife Just Said… #284

Posted by on September 26th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

When your kids get sick, time bends. It could stop or it could slow, but sick kids interrupt every carefully planned activity and routine you put together. After a while you do whatever it takes to get them better. That can mean your health/sleep/life take a hit. Sometimes we become a petri dish in my […]

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My Wife Just Said… #283

Posted by on September 19th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

No one wants to be that nutty parent with fevered spittle flying off their lips as they scream unheard tips and cheers from the sidelines to their kid. But that doesn’t seem to stop them. It’s hard not to get swept up in the game when your kid is playing, to be so invested that […]

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My Wife Just Said… #282

Posted by on September 12th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

First off, my wife is full of shit. Downhill, my ass. But it got me thinking about all the things that I took for granted when I was younger, and the ways I can/can’t act now that I’m getting grays and the lines in my face resemble war trenches. Do I look naive anymore? Can […]

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My Wife Just Said Sorry… #281

Posted by on September 5th, 2016, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Marriage is an emotional extreme sport by itself. Add kids into the obstacle course and tensions can run hot. Occasional blowups aren’t a shocker when a stress-abundant and sleep-deficient couple start talking about a touchy topic. Humor has always been the best flame-retardant for us. A sudden ridiculous face with a terrible foreign accent or […]

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