How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Texted… #241

Posted by on November 30th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  A lot of time we can’t see our own faces and just can’t feel a booger. Unfortunately, most bystanders don’t have the social bravery to walk up and let you know there’s a green troll hanging out at the entrance to one of your nose caves. Awkwaaaaaaard. Boogers are the “open pants zipper” of […]

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My Wife Just Said… #240

Posted by on November 23rd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“My kid’s more talented than yours.” -Avara   My kids have so many quirks they’d give every Tim Burton movie combined a run for their money. Both of my sons do and say things I don’t always understand, but somewhere inside their funny, strange mannerisms lies their genius, humor and uniqueness. For as much as I […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #239

Posted by on November 16th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  They had one slot open for a trial lesson in the gymnastics class. Our 6yo was mildly interested when we explained what it was, that he could learn how to jump and flip and have fun. This was probably fairly meh for him since he could do that anytime, anywhere. I could see there […]

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My Wife Just Said… #238

Posted by on November 9th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Playing a game with Finn where we pick a letter & give examples of things that begin w/letter. Picked W, I said ‘walrus’ & Finn said ‘wine’  -Avara   I’m not entirely certain where the wine thing came from. I have used the “would you like cheese with that whine” line and he’s asked me […]

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My Wife Just Said… #237

Posted by on November 2nd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Can I put ‘peace and quiet’ on my Christmas wish list?” –Elizabeth “I’m going to get you ‘loudness’ as my present. Heeheeheeheehee!” –Our 6yo son   Halloween just passed by in a whirlwind, and Thanksgiving is looming on the horizon of a pair of pants that won’t fit anymore. As a kid, the end months […]

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My Wife Just Said… #236

Posted by on October 26th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Costume’s coming together. Ten points to whoever correctly guesses what I’m going to be…” -Avara   We’ve been working on our costumes for Halloween this Friday. We’ve finally landed on what we’re doing and it’s going to take some real effort. But I’m hoping you guys will love them. Can you guess who/what my wife is […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #235

Posted by on October 23rd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

We didn’t use the garden hose with the high pressure nozel. And by that I mean, I’m not going to admit to such a thing in a public forum like this post. Kidding. Of course we didn’t fire-hose blast the fluffy, gross weirdo in the face, but man! KAK! We gave it some serious consideration. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #234

Posted by on October 12th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Only way to make it through date night when you’re parents. ‪#‎powernaps‬” -Avara   Making time. Taking time. Faking time. Parents have an intimate, volatile relationship with seconds. Those damn ticking sounds of our lives. The number of seconds it takes to catch airborne puke. The hours until we see our kids again. They all blend […]

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My Wife Just Self-Diagnosed… #233

Posted by on October 5th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“My throat hurts soooooo bad… Maybe it’s cancer.” –Elizabeth   She wasn’t serious, of course. Everyone in the house has gone down with a nasty case of flu-bola. Despite her obvious discomfort, I had to laugh at how she went from 0 to WebMD in under a second. It reminded me of an amazing joke […]

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My Wife Just Said… #232

Posted by on September 28th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Finn’s first kindergarten homework assignment DONE! Wonder how much longer I’ll think homework’s cute?” -Avara   Well, I can tell you right now that homework is a bit less cute. She posted the pic below, and said this little ditty about a month ago. But it isn’t because homework has become drudgery or Finn isn’t engaged. […]

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