How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Said… #198

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“If I wrote a parenting book, it would be called ‘Tickles and Timeouts.’” -Avara   Ever have one of those days that has an intense mix of tickles and timeouts? That’s us this weekend. Moments were so fun and enjoyable. Others were frustrating and mind-numbing. This seems to be the way of the parenting world. Friday. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #197

Posted by on January 26th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth   It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]

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My Wife Just Said… #196

Posted by on January 19th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“The circus called. They want their baby back…” -Avara   My boys are a unique kind of creature. Intensely cuddly, immensely vulnerable and singularly desirous of putting themselves in harm’s way by climbing, running or otherwise tumbling into trouble. They like to push the envelope, and we like to make sure that envelope is sealed. Calculated […]

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My Wife Just Said… #195

Posted by on January 12th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “You love me, right?” Me: “Yeeeeeah?” Wife: “And you’ll forgive me, right?” Me: “Uh-oh, what’re you gonna do?” [Wife presses play on her workout music] -Elizabeth   She knows that I have an extreme allergy to her workout “music.” My 5yo son will come up to me with a big devilish grin and tell […]

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My Wife Just Said… #194

Posted by on January 5th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I feel sad for all the babies out there who don’t have mamas or dadas to soothe them when they’re sick. And I feel grateful I’m able to do that for ours… And I need sleep.” -Avara   The flu hit us, the whole family, pretty hard over the last 3-4 days. I rang in the […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #193

Posted by on December 29th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My wife and I share a passion for sales. We don’t claim to be pros, we’re more like face-painted and foam-finger wielding fans. No, our pillows aren’t stuffed with expired coupons, our use of eBay isn’t like a government intelligence agency, and we’re not thrift shop tag-poppin’ junkies (yet), but if someone puts a BIG […]

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My Wife Just Said… #192

Posted by on December 22nd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Babies would be great, and I’d have more of them, if they just cleaned up after themselves.” -Avara   Arden approves!😍 A photo posted by Avara Capen (@ithrowtp) on Dec 12, 2014 at 1:44pm PST Is it just completely insane that the thought comes into our heads, from time to time, that more kids could even […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #191

Posted by on December 15th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  A classic example of a “teacher” writing to a parent about the vital need for a child to bone up on video games. Look it’s even got two bold exclamation points!! Totally legit. When little kids fake messages from their teacher or from one parent to the other or from an imaginary pony, it’s […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #190

Posted by on December 8th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Don’t they know I want to wrestle with their mom? She always wins, of course. But that’s just because we’ve been together for almost 15 years. And she’s smarter than me. And better at wrestling. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” What does a human jungle gym look like exactly?   Follow us on Facebook. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #189

Posted by on December 1st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Are you okay there with him? Can you look after him while you work?” -Elizabeth   Obviously my answer was, yes. Yes, I could look after him. When you’re doing some of your work from home, or doing the things around the house that sure as hell aren’t going to do themselves, kids never make […]

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