How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Said… #201

Posted by on February 23rd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I thought I had a big head, until I met you. Uhhhh… that didn’t come out right.” -Elizabeth   While the words that came out of her mouth were a little foot-flavored, they happen to be true. All my sons have big noggins, too. In fact, all the men in my family line seem to […]

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My Wife Just Said… #200

Posted by on February 16th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I’d like to take a moment to thank Fifty Shades of Grey for replacing vaccines as the subject of hot debate amongst the ladies.” -Avara   It’s our 200th “My Wife Just Said…” so I think it’s fitting we go with the most alarming conversation we can, right? The internet seems to be built for speed, […]

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My Wife Just FaceTimed… #199

Posted by on February 9th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Whoa! My GOD! FaceTime makes me look so OLD.” -Elizabeth   My wife, of course, went into immediate pouty-lipped facial poses and Blue Steel looks. Which in turn, and also of course, had me choke laughing. Most women have certain standards for the way they look in pictures or on camera. It can take just […]

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My Wife Just Said… #198

Posted by on February 2nd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“If I wrote a parenting book, it would be called ‘Tickles and Timeouts.’” -Avara   Ever have one of those days that has an intense mix of tickles and timeouts? That’s us this weekend. Moments were so fun and enjoyable. Others were frustrating and mind-numbing. This seems to be the way of the parenting world. Friday. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #197

Posted by on January 26th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth   It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]

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My Wife Just Said… #196

Posted by on January 19th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“The circus called. They want their baby back…” -Avara   My boys are a unique kind of creature. Intensely cuddly, immensely vulnerable and singularly desirous of putting themselves in harm’s way by climbing, running or otherwise tumbling into trouble. They like to push the envelope, and we like to make sure that envelope is sealed. Calculated […]

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My Wife Just Said… #195

Posted by on January 12th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “You love me, right?” Me: “Yeeeeeah?” Wife: “And you’ll forgive me, right?” Me: “Uh-oh, what’re you gonna do?” [Wife presses play on her workout music] -Elizabeth   She knows that I have an extreme allergy to her workout “music.” My 5yo son will come up to me with a big devilish grin and tell […]

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My Wife Just Said… #194

Posted by on January 5th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I feel sad for all the babies out there who don’t have mamas or dadas to soothe them when they’re sick. And I feel grateful I’m able to do that for ours… And I need sleep.” -Avara   The flu hit us, the whole family, pretty hard over the last 3-4 days. I rang in the […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #193

Posted by on December 29th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

My wife and I share a passion for sales. We don’t claim to be pros, we’re more like face-painted and foam-finger wielding fans. No, our pillows aren’t stuffed with expired coupons, our use of eBay isn’t like a government intelligence agency, and we’re not thrift shop tag-poppin’ junkies (yet), but if someone puts a BIG […]

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My Wife Just Said… #192

Posted by on December 22nd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Babies would be great, and I’d have more of them, if they just cleaned up after themselves.” -Avara   Arden approves!😍 A photo posted by Avara Capen (@ithrowtp) on Dec 12, 2014 at 1:44pm PST Is it just completely insane that the thought comes into our heads, from time to time, that more kids could even […]

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