How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Said… 331

Posted by on September 19th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Trust is an important part of marriage. When you can be counted upon to be totally and shamelessly honest about something like bodily functions, or MALfunctions as the case may be, you can present a pretty believable case in your defense of “dealt it vs. didn’t deal it”. When our son was younger and tore […]

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My Wife Just Said… #330

Posted by on September 5th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

I have to imagine that other parents do this thing my wife and I do, when deciding what we’re going to watch. After the kid’s bedtime, and by that I mean, after he’s gotten up once or twenty times, when he actually goes to for-real sleep, we settle down for some of our own hard-earned […]

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My Wife Just Mommy-Brained… #329

Posted by on August 30th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

There’s a term called “mommy brain.” Sure, men can have daddy brain, too, of course, because it simply refers to the incredibly dumb things you say and do (or forget to) as a parent because your kids and life have ganged up and mugged the majority of your IQ points. When our parental noggins are […]

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My Wife Just Sang… #328

Posted by on August 21st, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Don’t get me wrong, Total Eclipse of the Heart is a great song, I love it. But any parent knows that anything good can be ruined by experiencing it several hundreds of times. Parents who watched Frozen, may have said “Hey, this is actually a pretty good movie,” and then, after a few weeks of […]

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My Wife Just Said… #327

Posted by on August 14th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Tomorrow is the first day of school. The kids are in bed. We are about to sit down on the couch to get some adult time. Things are moving faster than ever, but summer has this indescribable ability to go both too fast and too slow simultaneously. It defies physical laws. The weeks dragged on, […]

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My Wife Just Said… #326

Posted by on August 7th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Sometimes we put off things, kidding ourselves that they won’t be so bad when we do them later. HAH! I’m not sure how we fool ourselves into these utter interplanetary flights of fancy. Maybe it’s that our distaste for a task is so extreme that it gives us the delusion-fuel we need to con ourselves […]

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My Wife Just Shouted… #325

Posted by on July 24th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

We all want our kids to be themselves. Until “being themselves” is them hollering down grocery aisles with a baguette lightsaber and their shirt wrapped around their head. Kids can come up with some pretty record-scratchy, startling comebacks that leave us parents speechless; either because they’re so spot on, it’s hard to counter their really […]

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My Wife Just Said… #324

Posted by on July 10th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

It’s not like we don’t loooooove love love our kids. But kids are proof positive you can have too much of a good thing. After a long day of doing all of the things, non-stop, there’s a point where your kid being removed from the mix couldn’t come soon enough. Sometimes this point occurs when […]

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My Wife Just Said… #323

Posted by on July 3rd, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Listen, we’ve been through this before. Threenagers. They’re brutal. Everything that’s hard about raising teenagers compacted into tiny, uncoordinated little bodies bent on hurting themselves. To complicate things, our son is somewhat speech delayed. When he gets angsty, things break down quickly. It’s not easy to navigate. Sometimes we just have to take things day […]

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My Wife Just Said… #322

Posted by on June 26th, 2017, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

After my wife said this – well, after I was done laughing – I told her she just might have happened upon a billion dollar idea, there. Those Kidz Bop albums (with little kids singing covers of pop music) seem to sell like hot cakes, and I’m pretty sure if there was a “Fart Bop” […]

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