How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Texted… #191

Posted by on December 15th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

  A classic example of a “teacher” writing to a parent about the vital need for a child to bone up on video games. Look it’s even got two bold exclamation points!! Totally legit. When little kids fake messages from their teacher or from one parent to the other or from an imaginary pony, it’s […]

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My Wife Just Texted… #190

Posted by on December 8th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Don’t they know I want to wrestle with their mom? She always wins, of course. But that’s just because we’ve been together for almost 15 years. And she’s smarter than me. And better at wrestling. – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” What does a human jungle gym look like exactly?   Follow us on Facebook. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #189

Posted by on December 1st, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Are you okay there with him? Can you look after him while you work?” -Elizabeth   Obviously my answer was, yes. Yes, I could look after him. When you’re doing some of your work from home, or doing the things around the house that sure as hell aren’t going to do themselves, kids never make […]

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My Wife Just Said… #188

Posted by on November 24th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Moved two days ago and still can’t find my underwear. Thanks for lending me yours, honey. #movingwithkids” -Avara   A photo posted by Avara Capen (@ithrowtp) on Nov 11, 2014 at 9:53am PST Moving with kids is like juggling whiny chainsaws that need something from you every five seconds. We’re in a land of boxes and […]

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My Wife Just Said… #187

Posted by on November 17th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“[Blah blah blah blah blah blah] …can you tell I’ve been alone too much today.” -Elizabeth   I was listening the whole time. The whooooooole time. Which was a really long time. I swear was listening, though! I’m not saying I didn’t run my hand through my hair or rub the bridge of my nose […]

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My Wife Just Said… #186

Posted by on November 10th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“When Finn asked me to be Princess Leia for Halloween I thought “no way”. How could I hide all my imperfections in a very unforgiving white dress? But seeing this sweet boy’s eyes light up when he saw all of us dressed in costumes was beyond amazing!” -Avara   A photo posted by Avara Capen (@ithrowtp) […]

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My Wife Just Loud Voice Said… #185

Posted by on November 3rd, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“That wasn’t yelling, that was loud voice talking.” -Elizabeth   No one wants to feel like the crappiest parent ever, but you’d think parents adored feeling that way if you judged by how often we seem to go to there. In raising kids, sometimes the pressure mounts, nerves get frayed, limits get hit, and we […]

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My Wife Just Said… #184

Posted by on October 27th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“The title for my autobiography will be ‘And Then I Fell Asleep…’” -Avara   Missing this guy terribly and it's only our first night apart😢 A photo posted by Avara Capen (@ithrowtp) on Jul 7, 2014 at 9:32pm PDT You don’t want to miss a moment. Of any of it. But sleep is needed to make the […]

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My Wife Just Screamed… #183

Posted by on October 20th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Tonight we are having pork chops with apricot glaze seared and roasted in a cast iron skillet [grabs cast iron skillet] AAAUUUUUGGGGHHH!!! Can you hand me an ice pack, honey?” -Elizabeth   When deciding on a family dinner, some people decide to go all out, preparing a full-on gourmet meal with multiple sides of fancy-schmancy. […]

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My Wife Just Said… #182

Posted by on October 13th, 2014, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I guess I should be flattered my toddler thinks I can pull off one of these slutty superhero costumes.” -Avara   Loading I guess I should be flattered my toddler thinks I can pull off one of these slutty superhero costumes. View on Instagram Priorities change when you become a parent. And not only that, your […]

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