How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

“MY WIFE JUST SAID…”

You just can’t invent the stuff that comes out of a woman’s mouth once she’s “passed a watermelon through the pinhole,” ceased sleeping and is married to you. Or one of us.

My Wife Just Texted… #227

Posted by on August 24th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Yeah, so… sometimes you need to add a banana, not for scale, but for sexy. Or just for laughs. But also still for sexy. #pls #seriously #alsoorganic – Previous “My Wife Just Said…” Pizza > yogurt, but it’s a messy competition. Follow us on Facebook. It’s the best way to stay connected to us. 

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My Wife Just Said… #226

Posted by on August 17th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“This is yogurt. You should see his joy when it’s .” -Avara   My wife sent me images as this mess progressed. It started easily and sort of timid. Then it progressed into a full-blown fist fight with a spoon and a cup of yogurt. You could almost imagine someone insulted his mother and my little […]

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My Wife Just… Bought a Dog!?… #225

Posted by on August 14th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“We are NOT naming the dog ‘Zombie Laser’!” –Elizabeth VOTE ON OUR NEW DOG’S NAME BELOW! (No joke)   We’ve been talking about getting a family pet for years, and we finally decided to not let our dreams be dreams and JUST DO IT, to get a family dog. We’re getting him today actually! A […]

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My Wife Just Said… #224

Posted by on August 3rd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I’m outnumbered.” -Avara   I think my wife wakes up some days to the stark realization that she is surrounded by dudes at home. This situation lives in contrast to the sentiment of thinking we were having a girl the first and second go-arounds. I don’t think she envisioned a symphony of farts and stunts in […]

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My Wife Just Said… #223

Posted by on July 27th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Check out my earrings!” Me: Oh, wow. I didn’t even notice them all day. Haha! “Um. Actually, I’ve had these in for week now, honey.” –Elizabeth I just froze and made that awkward “I’m a bad person” face, but she let me off the hook with a casual laugh. I thanked her for not doing […]

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My Wife Just Said… #222

Posted by on July 20th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Hey Summer Break, I NEED A BREAK!” -Avara   Having kids is like being on an emotional seesaw with poop smells and feelings. You want to spend as much time as you can with them, but too much time together with anything or anyone can be a bit much. There are so many things to get […]

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My Wife Just Whisper-Screamed… #221

Posted by on July 13th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“I have a really bad boob itch! Hug me!” [Hugs me and goes postal on her left breast between us] –Elizabeth We were sitting next to each other in a nice restaurant. Our plates lay before us devastated as we chatted over the soft music playing in the background. Her eyes went wide while I […]

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My Wife Just Instagrammed… #220

Posted by on July 8th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Stop. Drop. AND CUDDLE. If you give Arden anything soft he will immediately stop what he’s doing and put it to the side of his face and snuggle. He’s currently cuddling his stuffed Harry Potter owl❤️ We’ve taught him well @charliecapen” -Avara   When you have a second child, chances are good that both the parents […]

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My Wife Just Said… #219

Posted by on July 3rd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“Your son just invented an imaginary friend… to blame his farts on.” –Elizabeth His name is Pete, apparently. And he doesn’t play or tell stories or fly or save the world. He just farts. It was him, that’s who farted. Not our son (who just ate half his bodyweight in strawberries). Pete might not be […]

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My Witch Just Said… #218

Posted by on June 22nd, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

“DIAGON ALLEY!!! I’m never coming home. Seriously, I almost cried when we entered.” -Avara   Courage. Compassion. Imagination. Friendship. Achievement. Books can help unlock these ideals in ways no amount of conversation or browbeating could ever hope to accomplish. We’re big storytellers at our house. As Finn got older, I felt an internal countdown to being […]

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