“MY KID JUST SAID…”
The things kids can say are crazy, cute, brilliant or D) all of the above. So how could I resist sharing the majesty!
My Kid Just Farted… #57
5yo son: “Daddy, did you just fart!?” Me: “No, I didn’t.” Son: “THAT’S BECAUSE I DID! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Me and my son, Lucas (2015) He’s become a fart whisperer. Or shouterer. He’s obsessed. I can’t really blame him. Personally, I can on occasion be like Willy Honka’s Flatulate Factory. But I know it’s my fault, I […]
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My Kid Just Said… #56
“I gonna take dis gwass of water an’ pour it in dat bowl of dirt. Because… ya aaaaaaalways need mud.” -Lucas (2013, 5 years old) My cheeks cramped from smiling after he said this, but I kept watching with my spasmodic smirk as he happily turned dirt into mud with water, and my brow […]
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My Kid Just Said… #55
“Daddy? How does Dark Vader eat?” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old) To answer your question: the Disney store. That’s where we got these ridiculously amazing PJs. (ALSO IT HAS A TINY DETACHABLE CAPE!) There he stood, my little Dark Vader in his new PJs. My feelings were conflicted at first, the wincing inner nerd […]
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My Kid Just Said… #54
Finn: “Will I ever die?” Me: “What do you think, bug?” Finn: “I never die. We start over, growing again from our skulls.” Me: “Does that mean I could be your son? And will you take care of me when I’m old?” Finn: “Yep. I’ll give you lots of kisses.” -Dad & Finn (2014, 4.75 […]
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My Kid Just TEXTED… #53
The first “text” my youngest son sent me looked more like someone poured water on my wife’s phone. This was the first text exchange with my youngest son, Lucas, 5 years old. Well… the first one that made sense. Sort of. My two older boys were already learning advanced math when they got their phones, […]
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My Kid Just Said… #52
Certain relatives, who shall remain nameless, reminded me shortly before my second son was born how much my brother and I fought as kids. While I wasn’t anticipating this with my little ones, I was wary somewhere inside. I remember feeling like there wasn’t as much attention available for me. But I wanted these two […]
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My Kid Just Said… #51
“I gonna lay off food for a while.” -Lucas (2014, 5 years old) Hearing this from my 5-year-old beanpole of a son was a definite “Wait what!?” moment. You see, saying “going to” implies that one isn’t already doing it. Since birth. – Previous My Kid Just Said What a kid would do […]
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My Wife and Kid Just Said… #167
Wife: “No, I don’t have a penis. I have a vagina.” Son: “A bagina? Where does the pee come out???” Wife: “There’s a… hole.” Son: “In you butt?” Wife: “No, the front… The fluffy part.” Listening to my wife, Lizze, and my youngest son Lucas (5yo), I wanted to laugh […]
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My Kid Just Said… #50
“You know what I would do if I had The Force? Tickle YOU for once.” -Finn (2014, 4.5 years old) We started watching Episode IV: A New Hope of Star Wars awesomeness. Finn is in. All the way. He did way better than I even anticipated. After we finished our first round, he said this […]
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My Kid Just Said… #49
“Wake up wake up good mohning! It’s fwee five eweven o’cwock. You can cwose yo eyes again, I’m done tawking. G’night!”-Lucas (2014, 4.5 years old) It’s 35:11 o’clock. Do you know where your good night’s sleep is? I probably mumbled something really intelligent like: Whu? Whu time’s it? Whu’s hmmmrphumph still dark… mmrphh… back […]
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