INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS
Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.
9 Self-Inflicted Kids’ Haircuts (A Cartoon-ized Style Guide)
Anyone who’s had kids, owned a pair of scissors and turned their back for a single minute may be familiar with the flamboyant hair stylings kids can unleash upon themselves. As a parent of such a child, it’s hard to properly take in the exploratory and trendsetting bravery of these adventurous hair innovators when your […]
Ninja Parent Lessons: The Fists of the Octopus
Most people don’t realize, just by being parents, how many steps they’ve already travelled on the path of the ninja. There are so many trials and tasks and skills necessary to becoming a true master that are simply common, everyday demands of being a mother or father. Above is but a glimpse of one part […]
6AM TODDLER Energy Beverage (Bad Product Idea #20)
One might think this was actually a good product idea. Maybe the best energy drink ever conceived, but no. So shower-cry sadly it is not. This energy drink wouldn’t turbocharge you with raw pulse-pounding power when you wanted it. 110% nope. Every kid-owner already knows. No matter what time of day or night, it’d just […]
An HONEST Kid-Prepared Father’s Day Menu
Ah, Father’s Day breakfast! For families that celebrate the day with a special breakfast, it usually starts with Mom whipping up some food favorites for the dad of honor and presenting them herself, with the child enthusiastically waving a card or a school project made of 50% construction paper and 50% paste. Maybe in the […]
The Frequency of Saying “Poop” (Graphed)
We all know what our top words and phrases are, the ones that would make us filthy stinking rich “if I had a dollar for every time I’ve said… ” You’ll find your vacubalury and speech change direction dramatically once you become the proud owner of your very own, brand new little human. After […]
5 Frustrating Kid’s Bed Allergies
This post is sponsored by Tempur Sealy, but all the crazy talk here is mine, to spread the word about Cocoon by Sealy’s unique frustration-reducing mattress solution. Sure, these may not be “real” allergies, classified by “real” doctors. But, MAN, kids sure do make it seem like they are. Kids actually are great with […]
If Kids Had Legal Documents (5 Joke Templates)
The days of hocking a loogie into a palm to “shake on it” are long gone. In our complex world, kids need to lawyer-up big time. To put it very mildly, kids are little word-breaking, lying sacks of… youth. I’ve created these document templates for children (and childish adults) so they can conduct their childhood […]
Horror Movies for Toddlers (Bad Product Idea #19)
Just think about it. Kids films box-office spectacularly, for the young and old alike. And horror films also sell like hot cakes dripping with strawberry blood. Hmmmmm… Hollywood is clearly missing a huge opportunity here: horror movies for toddlers! Opening up an even younger youth demographic, and, since they can’t walk, this would include their […]
Kid Vomit Target Probability Chart
Kids seem to have a kind of horrible instinct mixed with a curse of bad luck. A kind of Murphy’s Law born into them. Mysteriously, critters of the wild are pre-programmed with certain knowledge and skills. A male dog lifts its leg to pee without ever seeing his dad do it. A weaver bird crafts […]
9 Things New Parents Aren’t Quite Prepared For
All first-time parents try to study “what to expect” and prepare for the arrival of their first-ever munchkin. But even the most forward-thinking parents are bound to have some unexpected experiences, and even some unanticipated reactions to things they totally knew were coming. They’ve readied themselves and the home for the big day as best […]
