How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

LOLs: An Illustrated Guide

Posted by on April 15th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Some of the poor misguided kids these days use acronyms so much it extends to regular speech. I’ve heard kids say “el oh el” or “lol” in response to a joke rather than laugh. Creepy. Even if that kind of makes your skin crawl, a lot of us use the common laugh acronyms online and […]

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An Alphabet According to Kids

Posted by on March 20th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Books and learning products for toddlers and kids can easily give one the idea that our children are being groomed for a future in farming or a jungle expedition. Some of the things chosen to represent the alphabet can be a little random and a lot a bit irrelevant. If you were learning a new […]

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Types of Parent Heart Conditions

Posted by on March 6th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING Becoming a parent or experiencing prolonged exposure to babies and children may cause a variety of pleasurable and undesirable heart episodes.   Kids don’t make you feel anything you haven’t felt before. Delude yourself all you want, but they just don’t. However, they can act like emotional lenses, sharpening and intensifying […]

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An Honest Guide to Repacking a Product

Posted by on February 4th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Faulty products, misguided impulse buys, kid rejection, whatever; sometimes life gives you lemons. But you paid hard-earned money for those damn lemons, so you’re not just gonna sit there with a puckered-up face and bear it. You need to make a return. Sadly, before you can make an exchange or a return, you can’t just […]

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Laundry, A Parent Service Announcement

Posted by on January 23rd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Maybe laundry can be loads of fun! (Yeah, even I want to punch myself in the face for that pun). Seriously though (not really seriously though), if you think of it as a game, a really simple game, that’s always the same, and seems to take forever, with no really great reward or achievement… okay […]

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Diaper Change Threat Condition & Awareness Chart

Posted by on January 17th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  Some consider that one of the top rules of good parenting is preparedness. But those people are either crazy or selling something, don’t listen to them. You’re going to do a lot better as a parent if you do so from a solid foundation of reality. When it comes to the reality of your […]

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Parentopoly, The Give ‘n’ Give ‘n’ Give Game

Posted by on December 30th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

It’s likely you’ve played Monopoly before (even if you’ve never finished it), since statistically about 11 out 10 households have had the board game given as a gift one year or another. Parenting can truly seem like a game, too. How many times do you think one parent has said, “Go, it’s your turn!” to […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “Roll-On Deodorant”

Posted by on December 16th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Even non-parents who hold babies like they were ticking bombs will admit that the little wiggly jigglies smell like fresh-baked rainbows. But any fragrance can be made into a funk-grance with the wrong additives. I think the poet Keats once wrote, “Even a flower’s sweetest whiff wilts in […]

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Parent Service Announcement: Clowns

Posted by on December 12th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Most everyone is familiar with Public Service Announcements (PSAs). Back in the ’50s they taught useful things like ducking down and covering your head with your arms to ensure survival from an atomic blast, or that women are a distracting and deadly menace to the workplace… um… okay, those were probably horrifically misleading, but later […]

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Snowman Building by Child Age

Posted by on December 2nd, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies are really terrible at making stuff. Unless it’s poop or pee, or making us smile and never sleep. So their first snowmen will require quite a bit of parental assembly. Some people wonder why parents do this for their babies (birthdays and snowmen and such), hinting that it’s all really just for the parents. […]

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