INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS
Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.
You sit there sweating bullets. You’re not worried you’ll lose, maybe there’s a hint of worry you’ll accidentally win. You’re just trying to keep up, playing a game with this young ball of spin-cycle lightning we commonly refer to as a kid. Whether it’s your kid or not is beside the point. It’s a KID! [...]
VIEW POSTBeing sick sucks. However, it is the Seventh Circle of Suck when you have kids, or your kids are sick, or it’s an all out family-demic. Good news is: there are steps you can take. Bad news is: I didn’t include any of the helpful ones you should take to prevent or deal with sickness [...]
VIEW POSTScience has proven that you aren’t actually “what you eat,” at least not literally. But what you do eat CAN say a lot about you. This is so true for pizza. Maybe pizza toppings won’t tell you who to marry or who to hire for your taxes, but that’s what Magic 8-Balls are for, right? [...]
VIEW POSTC’mon. It’s true. No disrespect to the elderly (or babies)! We’ve all got parents, or grandparents, that are old—except for Ryan Seacrest maybe, I’m still not convinced he’s human even if I can’t prove it. Don’t talk to me about his bellybutton, it was probably surgically added later. But I digress! Admittedly, being elderly has [...]
VIEW POSTOur lives go through a lot of transformations when we have kids. Body, mind and soul. And home. And car. And bank account. You either know this already, or can easily imagine. In the beginning, Baby’s First Christmas can launch holiday excitement into the psychotisphere. “Extra efforts” aren’t made, “extreme measures” are taken. New parents [...]
VIEW POSTNothing can prepare you. Nothing! Just like war, no matter what you read or watch, or how many in-the-trenches stories you hear from gray-faced veteran parents, nothing—NOTHING!!!—can prepare you for the amount of pee, puke and poop that will be unleashed upon you once your baby arrives. The 3 Ps of Parenting. Mothers may even [...]
VIEW POSTWhen you haven’t eaten in a while, you get hungry. When “a while” is actually the length of time things need to fossilize, you starve! You can start smelling delicious phantom whiffs, or hear something you could have sworn was bacon joyously sizzling a second ago. It’s the same with sex. Except for the sizzling [...]
VIEW POSTAh, the crazy, goofy things we come up with to entertain our offspring and ourselves! They’re wonderful, but when you actually think about almost any nursery rhyme, you want to tilt your head and let out a slow, “Huuuuhhhh?” And adding hand or foot make-believe play, even though it can be delightful, doesn’t make them [...]
VIEW POSTIt’s a Murphy’s Law of sorts. What can make an impact on a Peril Zone, will… reeeeally hard. Not every time, of course, but that’s what this chart is for, to show you the likelihood of impact, and where. Instances of board-books that weigh as much as a manhole cover making a “direct hit” are [...]
VIEW POSTFire engine sirens, jackhammers, alarms, elevator musak, oh my! It doesn’t matter what it is. Loud or awful sounds can freak a kid out. And every kid has their various ways of responding and even defending against these things. Here’s Lucas (3yo) holding up his toy tool box, demonstrating the Arm Muff technique as a [...]
VIEW POST