How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

What Your Pizza Toppings Can Say About You (Illustrated)

Posted by on January 28th, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Science has proven that you aren’t actually “what you eat,” at least not literally. But what you do eat CAN say a lot about you. This is so true for pizza. Maybe pizza toppings won’t tell you who to marry or who to hire for your taxes, but that’s what Magic 8-Balls are for, right? […]

Comments: 13

Senior vs. Baby

Posted by on January 2nd, 2013, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

C’mon. It’s true. No disrespect to the elderly (or babies)! We’ve all got parents, or grandparents, that are old—except for Ryan Seacrest maybe, I’m still not convinced he’s human even if I can’t prove it. Don’t talk to me about his bellybutton, it was probably surgically added later. But I digress! Admittedly, being elderly has […]

Comments: 11

Christmas Tree Decorating by Child Age

Posted by on December 12th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Our lives go through a lot of transformations when we have kids. Body, mind and soul. And home. And car. And bank account. You either know this already, or can easily imagine. In the beginning, Baby’s First Christmas can launch holiday excitement into the psychotisphere. “Extra efforts” aren’t made, “extreme measures” are taken. New parents […]

Comments: 43

The 3 Ps of Parenting

Posted by on December 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Nothing can prepare you. Nothing! Just like war, no matter what you read or watch, or how many in-the-trenches stories you hear from gray-faced veteran parents, nothing—NOTHING!!!—can prepare you for the amount of pee, puke and poop that will be unleashed upon you once your baby arrives. The 3 Ps of Parenting. Mothers may even […]

Comments: 46

Parent Safety: Thanksgiving InnuenDON’TS

Posted by on November 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When you haven’t eaten in a while, you get hungry. When “a while” is actually the length of time things need to fossilize, you starve! You can start smelling delicious phantom whiffs, or hear something you could have sworn was bacon joyously sizzling a second ago. It’s the same with sex. Except for the sizzling […]

Comments: 26

The Anatomy of Make Believe (Illustrated)

Posted by on October 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Ah, the crazy, goofy things we come up with to entertain our offspring and ourselves! They’re wonderful, but when you actually think about almost any nursery rhyme, you want to tilt your head and let out a slow, “Huuuuhhhh?” And adding hand or foot make-believe play, even though it can be delightful, doesn’t make them […]

Comments: 50

Safety from Children: Impact Probability Chart

Posted by on October 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

It’s a Murphy’s Law of sorts. What can make an impact on a Peril Zone, will… reeeeally hard. Not every time, of course, but that’s what this chart is for, to show you the likelihood of impact, and where. Instances of board-books that weigh as much as a manhole cover making a “direct hit” are […]

Comments: 36

How Kids Defend Against Loud Sounds

Posted by on October 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Fire engine sirens, jackhammers, alarms, elevator musak, oh my! It doesn’t matter what it is. Loud or awful sounds can freak a kid out. And every kid has their various ways of responding and even defending against these things. Here’s Lucas (3yo) holding up his toy tool box, demonstrating the Arm Muff technique as a […]

Comments: 29

Ways a Kid’s Costume Can Suck

Posted by on September 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  Like so many things on this website, this doesn’t really help you in any way. But the stores are already decorating themselves in cotton cobwebs and the seasonal Halloween stores are springing up and opening their spooky doors. So, I figured… why not? This is but a sampling of the ways a costume can […]

Comments: 58

Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 2

Posted by on September 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

We tell ourselves and others that we don’t want to coerce our kids. Once we get past that whole “not wanting to sound like a bad parent” thing we admit it. At some point, we do want to. Not forcefully or traumatically. We just want it to stop! Or start! Look. When a mom or […]

Comments: 16