How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

Christmas Tree Decorating by Child Age

Posted by on December 12th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Our lives go through a lot of transformations when we have kids. Body, mind and soul. And home. And car. And bank account. You either know this already, or can easily imagine. In the beginning, Baby’s First Christmas can launch holiday excitement into the psychotisphere. “Extra efforts” aren’t made, “extreme measures” are taken. New parents […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 43

The 3 Ps of Parenting

Posted by on December 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Nothing can prepare you. Nothing! Just like war, no matter what you read or watch, or how many in-the-trenches stories you hear from gray-faced veteran parents, nothing—NOTHING!!!—can prepare you for the amount of pee, puke and poop that will be unleashed upon you once your baby arrives. The 3 Ps of Parenting. Mothers may even […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 46

Parent Safety: Thanksgiving InnuenDON’TS

Posted by on November 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When you haven’t eaten in a while, you get hungry. When “a while” is actually the length of time things need to fossilize, you starve! You can start smelling delicious phantom whiffs, or hear something you could have sworn was bacon joyously sizzling a second ago. It’s the same with sex. Except for the sizzling […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 26

The Anatomy of Make Believe (Illustrated)

Posted by on October 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Ah, the crazy, goofy things we come up with to entertain our offspring and ourselves! They’re wonderful, but when you actually think about almost any nursery rhyme, you want to tilt your head and let out a slow, “Huuuuhhhh?” And adding hand or foot make-believe play, even though it can be delightful, doesn’t make them […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 50

Safety from Children: Impact Probability Chart

Posted by on October 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

It’s a Murphy’s Law of sorts. What can make an impact on a Peril Zone, will… reeeeally hard. Not every time, of course, but that’s what this chart is for, to show you the likelihood of impact, and where. Instances of board-books that weigh as much as a manhole cover making a “direct hit” are […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 36

How Kids Defend Against Loud Sounds

Posted by on October 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Fire engine sirens, jackhammers, alarms, elevator musak, oh my! It doesn’t matter what it is. Loud or awful sounds can freak a kid out. And every kid has their various ways of responding and even defending against these things. Here’s Lucas (3yo) holding up his toy tool box, demonstrating the Arm Muff technique as a […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 29

Ways a Kid’s Costume Can Suck

Posted by on September 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  Like so many things on this website, this doesn’t really help you in any way. But the stores are already decorating themselves in cotton cobwebs and the seasonal Halloween stores are springing up and opening their spooky doors. So, I figured… why not? This is but a sampling of the ways a costume can […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 58

Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 2

Posted by on September 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

We tell ourselves and others that we don’t want to coerce our kids. Once we get past that whole “not wanting to sound like a bad parent” thing we admit it. At some point, we do want to. Not forcefully or traumatically. We just want it to stop! Or start! Look. When a mom or […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 16

Bad Product Idea #11: The Boob Hat

Posted by on September 10th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies and toddlers have lots to do, all the time. Even when they have nothing to do, they’ll be busy doing something. But feeding can be suuuuuch an annoyance. Babies shouldn’t be required to put down the blocks every single chow time, wrapping themselves around Mommy’s midsection to suckle, or impersonating a sack of potatoes […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 26

How Kids Actually Wash Their Hands

Posted by on September 7th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  There’s a whole vast world of supposed-to’s; the proper ways to do things. Just so you know, children don’t tend to be very willing residents in this supposed-to world. When you’re trying to instruct them in the ways of this world, quite often they’re just going to apply some whatever-the-heck-they-want-or-happens-to-pop-into-their-little-heads liberally, and maybe add […]

VIEW POST
Comments: 27