How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

The 5 Stages of Teething, An Illustrated Guide

Posted by on June 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

    Teething is a part of becoming a parent that a lot people dread to one degree or another. Us parents who have made it through the Stages of Teething, know that the people who don’t dread it are either certifiably naive or very drunk. But one can only stay naive and drunk for […]

Comments: 102

Bad Product Idea #9: KiddleProd Child Motivation Enhancement Utility

Posted by on June 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Are you tired of how many times you have to ask your child to do or stop doing something, keeping exact count of how many times so they can’t turn around and correct you when you give an inexact guesstimate of how many times you’ve already asked? Are […]

Comments: 44

Ninja Parent Lessons: The Pillow Paw

Posted by on June 6th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The average height of a table is 26″-30″ and counters are around 36″. They all have corners and edges that kids’ heads are somehow magnetically drawn to when they’re passing through this height range. As a parent it’s your duty to protect your child. So obviously that includes making sure they don’t bash in their […]

Comments: 26

The Super Mega PERIOD

Posted by on May 29th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Not that kind of “period.” The period that ends a sentence. Or in this case, unleashes armageddon on an entire line of discussion and debate, or backtalk festivals and whiney begging campaigns, in the case of children and politicians. When you’re trying to give a final answer on a subject that won’t seem to end, […]

Comments: 33

How to Commit the Perfect Toy Murder

Posted by on May 22nd, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Oh how they sing. Oh how they dance. You gave it as a gift, not knowing any better. Or someone else gave it to your kid, not knowing that it could ultimately make you want to stab pens in your ears or kill yourself. But whatever you […]

Comments: 94

Breastfeeding Debate Multiplication Chart

Posted by on May 15th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Maybe the debate scores on this chart will help people to gauge how crazy the conversation at the group picnic is going to get when breastfeeding comes up. Maybe not. Maybe it’ll only be useful to news channels and magazine editors interested in maximizing the number of […]

Comments: 135

Baby Sleep Positions (1-10)

Posted by on May 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Co-sleeping with your baby can be one of the greatest joys or torments of parenting. It’s not for everyone, but for those who have… Which of these have you experienced? If you’ve co-slept with your baby in bed for more than a day, the better question might […]

Comments: 93

Criminal vs. Baby

Posted by on May 2nd, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] You ask your dearest, “Hon, have you seen my phone?” When you get the casual “no” reply, you hunt around a bit or tear the place apart. Hm. It’ll turn up, you think. You must have left it on silent-mode somewhere odd and forgotten. When you do […]

Comments: 26

The Food Groups According to Kids

Posted by on April 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the images to enlarge ]   Children look at food and nutrition differently than adults do. Sometimes they don’t even look at it, they just breath it in without even chewing. Some are picky and have roulette wheels for appetites. But whatever the case, the food groups look different in the eyes of […]

Comments: 57

Baby Teeth & Other Ferocious Fangs

Posted by on April 16th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] New baby teeth are such a fake out. As a parent, you suffer so much for those little things to come in, so when they do, you almost want to do backflips, build a bonfire and set off fireworks. Maybe we’re talking about me at this point, but […]

Comments: 35