How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

Parent Safety: Thanksgiving InnuenDON’TS

Posted by on November 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When you haven’t eaten in a while, you get hungry. When “a while” is actually the length of time things need to fossilize, you starve! You can start smelling delicious phantom whiffs, or hear something you could have sworn was bacon joyously sizzling a second ago. It’s the same with sex. Except for the sizzling […]

Comments: 26

The Anatomy of Make Believe (Illustrated)

Posted by on October 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Ah, the crazy, goofy things we come up with to entertain our offspring and ourselves! They’re wonderful, but when you actually think about almost any nursery rhyme, you want to tilt your head and let out a slow, “Huuuuhhhh?” And adding hand or foot make-believe play, even though it can be delightful, doesn’t make them […]

Comments: 50

Safety from Children: Impact Probability Chart

Posted by on October 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

It’s a Murphy’s Law of sorts. What can make an impact on a Peril Zone, will… reeeeally hard. Not every time, of course, but that’s what this chart is for, to show you the likelihood of impact, and where. Instances of board-books that weigh as much as a manhole cover making a “direct hit” are […]

Comments: 36

How Kids Defend Against Loud Sounds

Posted by on October 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Fire engine sirens, jackhammers, alarms, elevator musak, oh my! It doesn’t matter what it is. Loud or awful sounds can freak a kid out. And every kid has their various ways of responding and even defending against these things. Here’s Lucas (3yo) holding up his toy tool box, demonstrating the Arm Muff technique as a […]

Comments: 29

Ways a Kid’s Costume Can Suck

Posted by on September 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  Like so many things on this website, this doesn’t really help you in any way. But the stores are already decorating themselves in cotton cobwebs and the seasonal Halloween stores are springing up and opening their spooky doors. So, I figured… why not? This is but a sampling of the ways a costume can […]

Comments: 58

Ninja Parent Lessons: Tickle Attacks, Part 2

Posted by on September 20th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

We tell ourselves and others that we don’t want to coerce our kids. Once we get past that whole “not wanting to sound like a bad parent” thing we admit it. At some point, we do want to. Not forcefully or traumatically. We just want it to stop! Or start! Look. When a mom or […]

Comments: 16

Bad Product Idea #11: The Boob Hat

Posted by on September 10th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies and toddlers have lots to do, all the time. Even when they have nothing to do, they’ll be busy doing something. But feeding can be suuuuuch an annoyance. Babies shouldn’t be required to put down the blocks every single chow time, wrapping themselves around Mommy’s midsection to suckle, or impersonating a sack of potatoes […]

Comments: 26

How Kids Actually Wash Their Hands

Posted by on September 7th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  There’s a whole vast world of supposed-to’s; the proper ways to do things. Just so you know, children don’t tend to be very willing residents in this supposed-to world. When you’re trying to instruct them in the ways of this world, quite often they’re just going to apply some whatever-the-heck-they-want-or-happens-to-pop-into-their-little-heads liberally, and maybe add […]

Comments: 27

College Student vs. Baby

Posted by on August 31st, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] When kids go off to college we get misty eyed and clutch each other and say “we’re losing our little baby,” or some such choked-up sentiment. But, fortunately or unfortunately, sometimes that’s not as true as we may think. The similarities are still there. Our babies just […]

Comments: 14

Banana Added for Scale (A New, More Forgiving Unit of Measure)

Posted by on August 24th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The banana is not a standard or scientific unit of measure. It isn’t even accurate. But isn’t accuracy really for people who build bridges and count how many eyebrow hairs they have? Let’s face it, not everything in the world needs a laser scan that can tell you the shoe size of a molecule. People […]

Comments: 21