How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

Safety from Children: Baseball Bat Warning

Posted by on February 16th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Attention: Adults trying out new things tend to suck pretty badly at them at first. Kids are the same in this respect, only smaller and more energetic. It’s this smallness though, that happens to create a dramatic increase in Peril for nearby adults. You see, for a child, when something goes wrong while learning or […]

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Skid Marks: When to Wash ‘Em, When to Toss ‘Em

Posted by on February 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

…it happens. It’s a fact of life. I wish we could say this chart was only for parents doing mountains of their kid’s or teen’s laundry, but we have to admit it… this chart is for everyone. Younger and older, male and female. It’s true. …it happens. And not just to little kids’ tighty-whities after […]

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Comments: 108

Baby Sleep Positions: “The Roundhouse Kick”

Posted by on February 1st, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  The nighttime abuse we take as parents is a testament to how much we love heading to bed with the baby on board. Co-sleeping is special or at least necessary for some, but a lot of people don’t know that it can also occasionally be a good way to get a bloody nose or […]

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Facebook Fist Bump (FBFB)

Posted by on January 24th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

You may feel foolish at first, but you’ll probably smile or burst out laughing. You’ll see. YOU’RE FIST BUMPING US (or each other) THROUGH THE INTERNET! And we think that’s almost as rad as teleportation. Except not as useful, probably. The Fist Bump Click to enlarge  It’s easy. The FBFB can be done on any […]

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Comments: 24

Name that Superhero Diaper Pail!

Posted by on January 19th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Everyone poops. Even superheroes. Though, having been a bit of a collector in my youth, I can tell you it’s not something that you’ll ever see depicted in the colorful storyboard format of a comic book or its blockbuster movie adaptation. “Hey, Alfred! Can you hand me a […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Stalker”

Posted by on January 10th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  It can be a little startling… You’re sleeping (at last) and you wake up for some reason. Even if your baby has the most beautiful eyes, when you wake up all groggy and see those eyes, wide open and inches from your face, drilling calmly into your soul? You might not say it, but […]

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ChocoHead Edible Baby Helmet (Bad Product Idea #6)

Posted by on January 3rd, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] All parents want to do it. We restrain ourselves. We settle for kisses and nibbles. But the adorableness of babies can be like an all-you-can-eat buffet spread out before a fashion model who just retired and broke up with her boyfriend! We all want so bad to nom […]

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Comments: 16

The Ways a Toy Can Suck for a Parent

Posted by on December 27th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Now that most of us have made it through the gift-giving bonanza of the holidays, you might be saying to us, “Gee thanks! You could’ve posted this BEFORE my holiday shoppageddon!” To which our reply would be, “Hey! We were busy buying toys for our kids that we’d regret or suffer through, too!!!” Plus, even […]

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Comments: 40

Santa Claus vs. Pregnant Woman

Posted by on December 21st, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] In our Versus series, normally we’re all about pointing out the striking similarities between a baby and unusual figures like a zombie, Godzilla, a redneck, etc. But today we’re taking a look earlier, before a baby is even born. A pregnant woman. And Santa Claus. We know […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Neck Scarf”

Posted by on December 13th, 2011, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  When the cold weather hits us parents—b-r-r-r-r-r!—what better way to stay warm in the chill of night than, uhhhhh… to wrap your head and neck in the warmth and comfort of… your baby? Yeah, no one’s buying it, we know. But, hey, it happens. Whether we want it to or not. Maybe your sleeping […]

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Comments: 37