How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad


Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

Baby Sleep Positions (1-10)

Posted by on May 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] Co-sleeping with your baby can be one of the greatest joys or torments of parenting. It’s not for everyone, but for those who have… Which of these have you experienced? If you’ve co-slept with your baby in bed for more than a day, the better question might […]

Comments: 92

Criminal vs. Baby

Posted by on May 2nd, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  [ click the image to enlarge ] You ask your dearest, “Hon, have you seen my phone?” When you get the casual “no” reply, you hunt around a bit or tear the place apart. Hm. It’ll turn up, you think. You must have left it on silent-mode somewhere odd and forgotten. When you do […]

Comments: 26

The Food Groups According to Kids

Posted by on April 25th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the images to enlarge ]   Children look at food and nutrition differently than adults do. Sometimes they don’t even look at it, they just breath it in without even chewing. Some are picky and have roulette wheels for appetites. But whatever the case, the food groups look different in the eyes of […]

Comments: 57

Baby Teeth & Other Ferocious Fangs

Posted by on April 16th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] New baby teeth are such a fake out. As a parent, you suffer so much for those little things to come in, so when they do, you almost want to do backflips, build a bonfire and set off fireworks. Maybe we’re talking about me at this point, but […]

Comments: 35

The Black Hole Zone of Cribs, Car Seats & Stollers

Posted by on April 11th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Before you have kids, it doesn’t seem possible you could lose much in a crib, car seat or stroller. They’re just a frame with bars and a frilly mattress, a cushioned bucket with a test-pilot’s buckling system and an over-sized folding chair on wheels covered by fabric. None […]

Comments: 44

Ninja Parent Lessons: The Scissor Kiss

Posted by on April 4th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Ninjas have long known that the skill of being able to kill someone with one arm tied behind their back was a worthy achievement. For parents, this level of skill can become useful in the task of keeping someone ALIVE with an arm tied behind your back. Most people don’t realize that the ancient art […]

Comments: 36

Baby Fingernails & Other Deadly Edged Weapons

Posted by on March 28th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ] Baby fingernails are so sharp they make razor blades seem like warm gummy bears in comparison. If you’ve got kids, you’ve probably experienced the sudden sizzling pain of your baby’s nails accidentally giving you inexpert plastic surgery. You’ve probably heard this phrase before, “Ooooo. What happened to your […]

Comments: 107

Bad Product Idea #8: Kid Freshener

Posted by on March 21st, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babies smell like fairies and edible flowers. Show me the person who figures out how to bottle the magical spell of baby-scent and I’ll show you someone who will soon be rich enough to buy an island, just to store fan mail. It’s like your nose died and went to heaven. Unfortunately, just like a […]

Comments: 37

Baby Sleep Positions: “The Pillow Fort”

Posted by on March 15th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Early along in the amazing magical spell I like to call my marriage to Lizzie, I walked into our bedroom and my eyes went very wide, like O_O type of wide, to take in all the horror at once, as if ripping a band-aid off my mind. So it might hurt less. My lovely wife […]

Comments: 22

Ninja Parent Lessons: The Ankle Claw

Posted by on March 8th, 2012, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

“Huh?” you say? Yes, that is indeed a wise question. I will explain. If you wished to become good at something—great at something—like parenting, wouldn’t you want to know what a ninja had to say about it? They weren’t just born ninjas! They became masters of disciplined study and training long before they even got […]

Comments: 37