How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

The Frequency of Saying “Poop” (Graphed)

Posted by on April 26th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  We all know what our top words and phrases are, the ones that would make us filthy stinking rich “if I had a dollar for every time I’ve said… ” You’ll find your vacubalury and speech change direction dramatically once you become the proud owner of your very own, brand new little human. After […]

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5 Frustrating Kid’s Bed Allergies

Posted by on April 22nd, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

This post is sponsored by Tempur Sealy, but all the crazy talk here is mine, to spread the word about Cocoon by Sealy’s unique frustration-reducing mattress solution.   Sure, these may not be “real” allergies, classified by “real” doctors. But, MAN, kids sure do make it seem like they are. Kids actually are great with […]

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If Kids Had Legal Documents (5 Joke Templates)

Posted by on April 6th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

The days of hocking a loogie into a palm to “shake on it” are long gone. In our complex world, kids need to lawyer-up big time. To put it very mildly, kids are little word-breaking, lying sacks of… youth. I’ve created these document templates for children (and childish adults) so they can conduct their childhood […]

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Horror Movies for Toddlers (Bad Product Idea #19)

Posted by on March 25th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Just think about it. Kids films box-office spectacularly, for the young and old alike. And horror films also sell like hot cakes dripping with strawberry blood. Hmmmmm… Hollywood is clearly missing a huge opportunity here: horror movies for toddlers! Opening up an even younger youth demographic, and, since they can’t walk, this would include their […]

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Kid Vomit Target Probability Chart

Posted by on March 8th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Kids seem to have a kind of horrible instinct mixed with a curse of bad luck. A kind of Murphy’s Law born into them. Mysteriously, critters of the wild are pre-programmed with certain knowledge and skills. A male dog lifts its leg to pee without ever seeing his dad do it. A weaver bird crafts […]

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9 Things New Parents Aren’t Quite Prepared For

Posted by on March 3rd, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

All first-time parents try to study “what to expect” and prepare for the arrival of their first-ever munchkin. But even the most forward-thinking parents are bound to have some unexpected experiences, and even some unanticipated reactions to things they totally knew were coming. They’ve readied themselves and the home for the big day as best […]

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A Guide to the Outrageous Obstacles of Feeding Young Kids

Posted by on November 17th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Annie’s Homegrown partnered with us to bring this Instructional Diagram to life. So we could just all stare in confused fascination at some of the challenges in the mind-bending obstacle course parents face in getting food in their kids’ faces.   You don’t need to train your kids to breathe. So you’d kind of think, […]

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10 Ancient Parenting Tips from Ninjas

Posted by on October 29th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

People are always looking online or reading books to gain greater wisdom, or even just a single solitary friggin’ clue. This seems especially true for parents, who often feel massively overdrawn on their clue accounts. Fortunately, we can borrow from the past and learn from ancient masters of disciplined study and training, from the secret […]

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Haunted House or Just a House with a Kid?

Posted by on October 19th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

This Instructional Diagram is brought to you by the rad people at Redfin.   When your house becomes possessed by a baby or kid, paranormal activity becomes very parent-normal. If you want to do some ghost hunting, you don’t need to put on night-vision goggles and stumble around a condemned house hyperventi-whimpering. Just visit the […]

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5 DOs & DON’Ts for Being a Rad Concert Dad

Posted by on September 23rd, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

This Instructional Diagram is sponsored by Vivid Seats, because they share our quirky sense of humor and our love of going to concerts and sporting events.   Most of us have great memories from when we were kids, and music or sports are often a precious part of the treasure trove of our adolescence experiences. […]

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