How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

If Parents Renamed Products Honestly

Posted by on August 30th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

If some brands wanted their products to really speak to parents, they’d probably need a name makeover. Let’s look at a few products with new names and logos that might not be more appealing but are certainly more accurate.   Pregnancy Test Bread   Classic View-Master Toy   Lunch Snack   Granola Bars Slide Whistle […]

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How to Deal with Extremely Awkward Kid Questions

Posted by on August 26th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Usually without warning, kids will ask you some shocking questions that’ll make you spit your coffee into another zip code. Some parents get nervous just thinking about having “The Talk.” Others have no problem discussing the birds and the bees, but might start looking for the nearest exit while fielding an inquiry about butt plugs. […]

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9 Self-Inflicted Kids’ Haircuts (A Cartoon-ized Style Guide)

Posted by on August 10th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Anyone who’s had kids, owned a pair of scissors and turned their back for a single minute may be familiar with the flamboyant hair stylings kids can unleash upon themselves. As a parent of such a child, it’s hard to properly take in the exploratory and trendsetting bravery of these adventurous hair innovators when your […]

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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Fists of the Octopus

Posted by on July 13th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Most people don’t realize, just by being parents, how many steps they’ve already travelled on the path of the ninja. There are so many trials and tasks and skills necessary to becoming a true master that are simply common, everyday demands of being a mother or father. Above is but a glimpse of one part […]

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6AM TODDLER Energy Beverage (Bad Product Idea #20)

Posted by on June 21st, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

​ ​One might think this was actually a good product idea. Maybe the best energy drink ever conceived, but no. So shower-cry sadly it is not. This energy drink wouldn’t turbocharge you with raw pulse-pounding power when you wanted it. 110% nope. Every kid-owner already knows. No matter what time of day or night, it’d […]

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An HONEST Kid-Prepared Father’s Day Menu

Posted by on June 13th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Ah, Father’s Day breakfast! For families that celebrate the day with a special breakfast, it usually starts with Mom whipping up some food favorites for the dad of honor and presenting them herself, with the child enthusiastically waving a card or a school project made of 50% construction paper and 50% paste. Maybe in the […]

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The Frequency of Saying “Poop” (Graphed)

Posted by on April 26th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  We all know what our top words and phrases are, the ones that would make us filthy stinking rich “if I had a dollar for every time I’ve said… ” You’ll find your vacubalury and speech change direction dramatically once you become the proud owner of your very own, brand new little human. After […]

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5 Frustrating Kid’s Bed Allergies

Posted by on April 22nd, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

This post is sponsored by Tempur Sealy, but all the crazy talk here is mine, to spread the word about Cocoon by Sealy’s unique frustration-reducing mattress solution.   Sure, these may not be “real” allergies, classified by “real” doctors. But, MAN, kids sure do make it seem like they are. Kids actually are great with […]

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If Kids Had Legal Documents (5 Joke Templates)

Posted by on April 6th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

The days of hocking a loogie into a palm to “shake on it” are long gone. In our complex world, kids need to lawyer-up big time. To put it very mildly, kids are little word-breaking, lying sacks of… youth. I’ve created these document templates for children (and childish adults) so they can conduct their childhood […]

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Horror Movies for Toddlers (Bad Product Idea #19)

Posted by on March 25th, 2016, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Just think about it. Kids films box-office spectacularly, for the young and old alike. And horror films also sell like hot cakes dripping with strawberry blood. Hmmmmm… Hollywood is clearly missing a huge opportunity here: horror movies for toddlers! Opening up an even younger youth demographic, and, since they can’t walk, this would include their […]

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