How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

Cute-to-Nope Chart for Bugs

Posted by on May 23rd, 2019, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  I’ll admit that this isn’t necessarily “a little kid’s” chart, and that some of us adults still react to some bugs cartoonishly, levitating dramatically before sprinting away in a cloud of smoke, ready to set everything on fire. We all have to agree that some bugs are creepier than others, in our own opinions. […]

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STRESSTIMATES

Posted by on February 21st, 2019, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When someone says “parenting is stressful,” you almost want to construct a big sign on a stick that says “DUH!!!” and hit them over the head with it. Yeah, water is wet; sugar is sweet; parenting is stressful. WHACK! By default, it’s literally our job to worry and obsess about our kids’ well-being. So it […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: 11-20

Posted by on December 11th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, NOTEBOOK

[ click the image to enlarge ] The term “co-sleeping” is an odd one, because it implies that sleep is actually happening. When the topic of the baby sleeping in the grown-up bed comes up, some parents or not-yet-parents will sneer and growl, “NEVER!” That’s their choice, to not co-sleep, or to be a jerk […]

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Maybe We CAN Have Nice Things

Posted by on December 5th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

The things we parents do and the sacrifices we make for our kids are pretty countless. We give our lives to theirs, so their lives can be better than ours, or the best we can manage. Even if it means wearing underwear that’s older than they are. There’s a running joke about kids: “this is […]

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MAN-ternity Pants for Food Babies

Posted by on November 21st, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

If women can wear “boyfriend jeans” any time they want for casual comfort, then dang it men should be able to rock a pair of maternity pants for the eating Olympics of the holiday season! But most men aren’t very comfortable with wearing women’s clothing. Hmmmmm. But what if there was an answer?! Think of […]

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Halloween Health-EVIL Ideas

Posted by on October 30th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Okay so, maybe these are all DEFINITELY terrible ideas. Based on a recent “Candy Confessions” survey from Crest, 86% of parents eat candy that was given to their child while trick-or-treating. We are all looking to fulfill our sweet tooth! Around the Halloween season, parents also seem to up their kids’ healthy eating and tooth-care […]

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How to Test Steak for WRONGNESS

Posted by on October 23rd, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, NOTEBOOK

Everyone has their preference, of course. And one could say there is no WRONG way to have a steak prepared for you, but the person who said that would be very sadly mistaken. However, in today’s day and age, it’s totally okay for people to like absolutely awful things. It’s 2018! You do you. But […]

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5 “Parenterms” That Need to Be Real Words

Posted by on October 19th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Parents make stuff up all the time. To sound like they have even the slightest clue, to shut some situation down or simply because they can’t remember the right thing to say. We need to adapt, improvise and overcome when it comes to raising kids. Taking words and MacGyvering them a little is no different. […]

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Pop-Tarts, If They Made ‘Em for TODDLERS

Posted by on October 12th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Why not feed your young ones sweet snacks based on the freaky foods they already go nuts for? Pop-tarts for toddlers can’t be the dumbest food product idea you’ve ever heard of. But if it is, than I’m even prouder for whipping it up in the carnival freak show of my mind. These would also […]

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Preventing the Impossible: Kid Stains

Posted by on September 14th, 2018, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

M’kay. So maaaaaybe these aren’t such good ideas. It’s always surprising, the sheer number of inevitable stains that happen in a family. However, this surprise can sort of pale in comparison to the shock of HOW some of them happen. The other day, I was walking from the couch to the TV with a glass […]

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