How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Is there a word for the opposite of “educational”? That’s what these are. These diagrams illustrate why caffeine and insomnia don’t mix well.

Nostrilizers: Bad Product Idea #17

Posted by on December 11th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  The world has nose plugs, ear plugs and sleep blindfolds for keeping the senses at bay. These are all so negative, though. What of the joys of life? We’ve got binoculars for our eyes, headphones for our ears and seasoning for our tongues, but what of the delights of the nose? Imagine if you […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Biohazard”

Posted by on December 3rd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  People with a little baby are never “awake” or “asleep” in the black-and-white senses of the words. Parents exist in the gray area between. The varying degrees of “trying to sleep” and “fighting to stay awake.” You’re always on call. Waiting. Ready to respond. It’s very late. You’re asleep, or wrestling the ninja crocodile […]

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Thanksgiving Pie Chart

Posted by on November 27th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

If Thanksgiving only lasts a day for you, you didn’t make enough food and you are a monster. With refrigeration and proper storage, it really should be Thanksgiving Week. Maybe it’s not pie you go bonkers for, it could just as well be a completely bone-littered turkey platter, or a clean-scraped bowl of marshmallow yams, […]

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Grand Theft LEGO – Bad Product Idea #16

Posted by on November 13th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

Two fanatically popular video game series join forces to create, the crossover video game of the century, Grand Theft LEGO… “Derivative but so inspired…”— someone who probably needs a good dictionary   Race through the mean streets of Downtown LEGO City with your friends or just slap C4 on their backs, send them off and […]

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Toilet Safety: Advanced Adult Toilet Training

Posted by on October 22nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

  After a person learns how to go by themselves, it’s like they’ve suddenly graduated and they’re left to figure out the rest on their own. But, besides kids learning to not have “accidents,” there’s way more to know about and avoid in the gentle art of going to the bathroom. Delta Faucet teamed up […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Junkyard”

Posted by on October 10th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

From the beginning of parenting, sleep becomes a bit of a half-remembered dream, one that you daydream about while staring vacantly at a wall as you overfill a coffee cup. Everyone with mini humans knows this, but there’s also a point in the condition known as parenthood when the toy infestation begins. At first it’s […]

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Types of Boogers (A Cartoonized Guide)

Posted by on October 2nd, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

When we’re younger, we’re nearly always poorly educated about boogers. It’s obvious kids are fascinated by them, but parents and adults don’t tend to go much beyond “stop that” and “oh god gross” and “get that out of your mouth!” when it comes to the subject. Kids are typically left to explore the two tunnels […]

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7 Extreme (Probably Definitely Horrible) Back-To-School Measures

Posted by on September 18th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

As you can see, these back-to-school ideas are utterly terrible. No “probably” about it. Not only due to the terrific waste of time and money, but also because they’d result in bulldozing your kid’s individuality while making them a complete outcast laughingstock at school. What parent doesn’t want the best for their kids? With the […]

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10 Ways Not To Use A Baby Carrier

Posted by on August 25th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

Babywearing and parents go together like apples and cheese. Wait, is that only me? It’s a thing, I promise. Anyway, wearing babies is not only an amazing, comfortable way to be mobile with your bundle of boy or girl, it’s also fashion forward. Or forward facing, if you will. But you have to do a […]

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TODDLER BINGO! Because Parents Deserve to Win Something

Posted by on August 19th, 2014, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS, SNAPSHOTS

The thing about playing Bingo is that you’re going to go through an epic crap ton of numbers before anyone hits five in a row. The same is true for Toddler Bingo. Parents will experience a vast array of toddlerisms before they hit the jackpot. Refusing to eat something, wanting to eat things they shouldn’t, […]

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