How to Be a Dad

How to Be a Dad

Borned – Scrabble Scribble #14

Posted by on January 30th, 2015, under SNAPSHOTS

It can be incredibly hard for kids to imagine their parents as children. Which is weird if you think about it, since they can imagine that a potato is a sword. But also not so weird, when you consider that you’ve been a towering giant (though steadily shrinking) to them the entire time they’ve known […]

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10 Insider Tips for Playing with Kids

Posted by on January 28th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

Here are some tips and warnings for parents signing up for the full-contact, mind-bending sport known as Playing. I’ve added 6-second videos to each point to demonstrate more fully humorously. You can turn the sound on and off in the lower-left of each video. (Some of these get a bit festive, so you may want […]

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My Wife Just Said… #197

Posted by on January 26th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

[ To our 5yo son ] “It is Daddy’s birthday today, but no he’s not turning 10. Well… it just seems like he’s 10 years old.” -Elizabeth   It’s my vaginal-launch anniversary today. However, since Monday isn’t the most convenient day to celebrate a birthday or… well, anything… I spent the past weekend having various […]

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Baby Sleep Positions: “The Deflector Shield”

Posted by on January 22nd, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

A shield is up! RED ALERT! Evasive maneuvers! All hand to battle stations! (Sorry for that.) You see, once a mother ship does fire a new little cosmonaut out of her launch bay, I’m afraid a deflector shield is now quite operational. And will be for a what can seem like lightyears. In space, no […]

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“Shopping” : Convos With My 4-Year-Old

Posted by on January 20th, 2015, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Every parent that takes their youngling out and about, no matter the age, has probably suffered from Post Tantrum Stress Disorder. You would have bet a Bugatti that they weren’t anywhere near the corner of hungry and tired. You totally thought that nap did the trick. You almost couldn’t believe the plate wasn’t part of […]

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Dying Dreams

Posted by on January 16th, 2015, under NOTEBOOK

He’s running motionless, his little legs seeming to slip backward, toward the monster he’s feverishly trying to escape. It’s not real. He’s standing at the jagged edge of a murderous cliff, an evil wind ripping at his Darth Vader pajamas, pulling him over. It’s not real. They’re just dreams. His nightmares. – The other night […]

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Ninja Parent Lessons: The Drunken Cobra

Posted by on January 14th, 2015, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

A baby can be like a drunken cobra, that is they would be, if snakes had a habit of irresponsibly drinking way too much sake and then going on a rampage. A baby’s finger and toe nails are sharper than samurai swords, and their coordination and aim? Worse than a government’s. Wobbly and unpredictable, an […]

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My Wife Just Said… #195

Posted by on January 12th, 2015, under "MY WIFE JUST SAID..."

Wife: “You love me, right?” Me: “Yeeeeeah?” Wife: “And you’ll forgive me, right?” Me: “Uh-oh, what’re you gonna do?” [Wife presses play on her workout music] -Elizabeth   She knows that I have an extreme allergy to her workout “music.” My 5yo son will come up to me with a big devilish grin and tell […]

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This Baby KNOWS the Awesome Power of the Remote! (VIDEO)

Posted by on January 8th, 2015, under EXTERNAL USE ONLY

Aside from having a last name that sounds like a really cool alien planet, Evelyn Terastvatsatrian is a mom and Youtuber who discovered her baby’s amazing reaction to the TV remote and videoed it for all to enjoy. Subscribe to Evelyn Terastvatsatrian Babies seem to learn from the get-go that buttons do some pretty magical […]

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My Kid Just Farted… #57

Posted by on January 6th, 2015, under "MY KID JUST SAID..."

5yo son: “Daddy, did you just fart!?” Me: “No, I didn’t.” Son: “THAT’S BECAUSE I DID! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Me and my son, Lucas (2015) He’s become a fart whisperer. Or shouterer. He’s obsessed. I can’t really blame him. Personally, I can on occasion be like Willy Honka’s Flatulate Factory. But I know it’s my fault, I […]

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